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06:55 PM
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Domestic Men with Children how do you cope?
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[quote:The_Meridian:MV80NzUyOTE1Xzg2NTk2MjgxX0RGNDA2NjUz] First of all, I'm overwhelmed at how this thread has grown overnight and I'm sorry I wasn't around to contribute, but I was in the middle of it and it carried on into endless discussion until sleep. Thank you all for the kind words, the harsh words, advice and support. I have not read anything that was not applicable from one angle or another whether harsh or kind. (Except for the response above out of left field.) Someone asked what *my* deal was and maybe I'm the problem. So here's my deal: I am one big toe dipped into the Autism spectrum. Through nature or nurture I tend to be a very cool (Not Fonzie cool but borderline cold) individual. I am logical to a fault, somewhere between Sheldon Cooper and Spock. I am also right 90% of the time, and that's a modest assessment. I have a great difficulty understanding why people don't want to be correct when presented with the option to be so. My wife thinks that I get something out of this behavior, like superiority complex or ego. I admit that I enjoy having insight and being correct. Why wouldn't I? My wife does admit that often times I *do* have the right insight at the right time, more often than not. I do not know how to...the analogy that I used: I'm a band who put out an album where 9 out of 10 tracks were successful singles. I don't know if my next album is going to be the same, but I have no reason to suspect not, so I record my songs and I hope that people like them. What else can I do? --- My deal, continued, according to her: I am stagnant, content with no change. I agree, I am too tired for change, I feel survival and keeping sane takes everything I have out of me. I also know she is Jealous that the kids (and even the dog) seem to gravitate to me more, they like what I like, and they don't appreciate her. --------- Our deal: My wife feels that screen time is turning the kids into assholes. She's not wrong, but the whole screen time issue is complicated because it's 9/10ths of the kids socialization they get these days. She's been trying to steer the ship into her only-child upbringing from the "Old country" from the 70's/80's it couldn't possibly be further away from today's reality. So electronics have been a target for a long time and I think if it was up to her they'd be playing with wooden home-made toys all day and she feels arbitrary ways like "Watching Cartoon network is okay" I guess because maybe she watched cartoons as a kid sometimes. [/quote]
Original Message
All I want is serenity and day after day it's chaos, mostly on account of my severely emotional wife.
She has to have blow-outs with children on a daily basis or she goes out of her way to misunderstand me so she can have a blow out with me.
I work six days a week, physical labor. The 3 kids are 12 and under. She expects us all to satisfy an imaginary ideal world in which she fantasizes and cannot handle it when we act like human beings.
How do you cope?
I have dreams of meditation, fasting and enlightenment but instead I have crying, yelling, shouting, and drama everywhere I look and I have to spend 1/2 my day advocating for children.
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