Squirrels.... | |
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UndercoverAlien
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 890684 United States 05/03/2010 04:38 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Looks like entrapment. Quoting: awthrawthrKarma can be a bitch. When the creator of that vicious device finds himself flying through the air after a roll over accident, or caught by a tornado just remember, I told you so. People that take pleasure from hurting animals are stuck in their own victim role. Or maybe just pissed about their small penis. I cannot imagine a woman doing this. .. |
ºSPOTº
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Nothing is true
User ID: 953473 United Kingdom 05/03/2010 05:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I know I'll never beat them, so I'm going to have to start feeding them! To the people who made that video - I hope your cocks drop off. Everything is permitted.. |
Jasmine User ID: 959691 United States 05/03/2010 06:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Don't know if this story is true, but if laughter is the best medicine you sure will feel better after reading this! Angry squirrel I don't know who wrote this, but he tells it quite visually and it's sure worth a laugh or two... I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect. I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Bonzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" The leap was nothing short of spectacular... He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage! Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing... I grabbed for him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed to snag his tail. With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel. This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH! Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather antisocial and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled, to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in .. well .. I just plain screamed. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, and roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I reallydid not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle...my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect against the massive power of the big cruiser. About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed intensity. It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed out (since I was not bothering with shifting at the moment), so her front end started to drop. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very raggedly torn T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out of the mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse. Finally I got the upper hand ... I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked ... sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of ...so to speak. Picture a new scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn T-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing only one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by, and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car. I heard screams. They weren't mine... I managed to get the big motorcycle under control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign of a busy cross street. I would have returned to 'fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really... Except for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. When I looked back, the doors on both sides of the patrol car were flung wide open. The cop from the passenger side was on his back, doing a crab walk into somebody's front yard, quickly moving away from the car. The cop who had been in the driver's seat was standing in the street, aiming a riot shotgun at his own police car. So, the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I could clearly see shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery from the back seat. But I could also swear I saw the squirrel in the back window, shaking his little fist at me. That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car. A somewhat shredded patrol car but it was all his. I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made a gentle right turn off of Brice Street, and sedately left the neighborhood. I decided it was best to just buy myself a new pair of gloves. And a whole lot of Band-Aids. |
coolhandluke74
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 915133 United States 05/03/2010 09:05 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Now that is just sad. I love them and feed them along with the birds. Quoting: kat38I feed them ,that is so cruel, people that hurt animals or enjoy in their suffering got two or tree loose nuts, those are the ones that their parents never sat down to talk to them and explain the greatness of nature and animals ,that everything is connected. this kind of people end up shooting without asking ,hurting humans more easily and getting in trouble with society. Pity. |
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 915133 United States 05/03/2010 09:10 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Anyone else having problems with squirrels.... Try this...LOL Quoting: Anonymous Coward 738826[link to www.livevideo.com] I love squirrells because they are a part of the relaity that we created. |
geminilion
User ID: 959161 United States 05/03/2010 09:47 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Wonder if that would work for the endless stream of vacuum sales people and religious types? ..."The soul is dyed the color of its thoughts. Think only on those things that are in line with your principles and can bear the light of day. The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny ... it is the light that guides your way." Heraclitus |
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DAUNTLESS
User ID: 807451 United States 05/03/2010 10:35 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | [link to squirrelicious.blogspot.com] Hilarious! Conan talking to squirrels and much more! “Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me,” O’Brien tweeted to the world. Independent Thought Dauntless Mind Unconditional Love |
Tazzz
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Anonymous Coward User ID: 915133 United States 05/03/2010 11:31 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Squirrels will also strip your fruit trees faster than a dog can trot. They love peaches, apricots, plums, cherries, you name it. If you want to have a nice little orchard in squirrel country you will have to make a choice between your produce or the squirrels. I have also watched them enjoy my garden. It's amazing - a squirrel can pick an eggplant bigger than he is and run like lighting before you know what hit you. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 959547You can use nests to protect the trees in production, man, You took from them , I am talking about food ! When you made your house they where there first! when we build ,where they live ,we are taking from their space ,THE FOOD. The least thing you can do is let them have something. |