To all American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT





Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists

and Obama supporters, et al:



We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but

the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a

divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of

future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.





Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on

what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can

smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.



Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking

a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively

easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets

since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.



We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome

to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take

our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty,

smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and bio diesel. You can

keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible

for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them



We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,

Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare

dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal

aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .



You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to

invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and

war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll

help provide them security.



We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam,

Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can

also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.



We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can

take every Subaru station wagon you can find.



You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll

keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure

you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to

Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".



We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle

up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our

flag.



Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded

liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will

need whose help in 15 years.



Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American



P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara

Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.



P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our

country.