So I gave up drinking. | |
K_aren
(OP) User ID: 1116698 United States 01/26/2011 08:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | How can you stay sober when the person you live with is still drinking? Quoting: noblesse obligethe sneaking is what pisses me. and i'm a guy. It's near impossible! He wreaks of Jameson right now (he just got home). And yeah, I think what bothers me the most is him trying to hide it, after he said he'd quit to support me. Thanks everyone for your positive responses. I've been against going to a meeting, but reading your posts makes me feel better, I guess thats the point of meetings except its in person. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1169288 United States 01/26/2011 08:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You're young, and hopefully your desire to over indulge won't be a life long problem. If you haven't seen it,check out the movie with Sandra Bullock,"28 Days" It might give you some insight to the boyfriend problem when one wants to quit drinking. You have to be concerned about yourself now and as suggested by another poster catch a NYC meeting. I know this isn't part of the AA program, but for some people not making alcohol the "devil" never to be drank again works better, especially someone so young. They've stuck to the mind-set that they certainly can't drink now,but didn't embrace the never again. You must feel and look so much better by not drinking. Make some new friends at AA to hang out with, maybe look into a vitamin regime for drinkers,can't hurt and some say it cuts the desire to drink. Good luck, as said, your young, and may this to pass. |
Life and Love
User ID: 1172773 United States 01/26/2011 08:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's near impossible! He wreaks of Jameson right now (he just got home). And yeah, I think what bothers me the most is him trying to hide it, after he said he'd quit to support me. Quoting: K_arenThanks everyone for your positive responses. I've been against going to a meeting, but reading your posts makes me feel better, I guess thats the point of meetings except its in person. I see two issues at work: (1) the drinking and (2) the deception. And it isn't deception (because you're not deceived); it's delusion on his part. So go to one meeting. Just commit to one. If it isn't your think you don't have to go back. I suspect you will hear stories similar to yours, and I believe that will be helpful. Best wishes! We become like that to which we are devoted. - Choose wisely. |
Dr. House
User ID: 1176427 United States 01/26/2011 09:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Program of recovery is a selfish act. You can not 'share' your recovery with your spouse, parent, child, whatever. Either you do it for yourself, or you are not doing it. IF he has a drinking problem, then he needs to deal with that himself. If he doesn't, then there is no reason why he needs to stop drinking because you decided you need to stop. YOU can't make him stop drinking. YOU can only make YOU stop drinking. His drinking (or not) is something that you cannot change. You need the serenity to accept those things you cannot change. YOUR drinking you can change, you need the courage to change what you can change. The wisdom is simple, anything that happens outside of you YOU cannot change. Anything that happens inside of you YOU can change. If he is an alcoholic like you are, then I strongly suggest you find an Alanon meeting in your local area. Alanon is sort of like AA except its for those who know a drunk. AA is for those who are a drunk. You might as well look up a chapter in AA and get a program of suggestions. They will suggest a lot, there is really nothing you must do, but it helps if you do do some of what they suggest. Lastly, if you want to stay with your partner, you two might want to consider couple's counseling. I assure you, there is far much more going on with your relationship other than his sneaking a few beers. Sinkhole list: Thread: Sinkholes Updated 28 Dec 2010 find a sinkhole, add it to this thread, please. "Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him." (1 John 3:15, NKJV). |
snark
Forum Administrator User ID: 1050548 United States 01/26/2011 09:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Stay sober, Karen. You can- but the boyfriend issue is gonna be a problem. Take the others' advice here and go to a meeting. Worry about today, not about not drinking tomorrow. Just don't drink today. T For Texas, T For Tennessee! The virtue of courage is a prerequisite for the practice of all other virtues, because otherwise one is virtuous only when virtue has no cost. There are times when something needs to be done, and yet we know that if we step up and do this needful thing, we will pay a heavy personal price. -C.S. Lewis |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1165172 United States 01/26/2011 09:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
scimitar
User ID: 1154693 United States 01/26/2011 09:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Program of recovery is a selfish act. Quoting: Dr. HouseYou can not 'share' your recovery with your spouse, parent, child, whatever. Either you do it for yourself, or you are not doing it. IF he has a drinking problem, then he needs to deal with that himself. If he doesn't, then there is no reason why he needs to stop drinking because you decided you need to stop. YOU can't make him stop drinking. YOU can only make YOU stop drinking. His drinking (or not) is something that you cannot change. You need the serenity to accept those things you cannot change. YOUR drinking you can change, you need the courage to change what you can change. The wisdom is simple, anything that happens outside of you YOU cannot change. Anything that happens inside of you YOU can change. If he is an alcoholic like you are, then I strongly suggest you find an Alanon meeting in your local area. Alanon is sort of like AA except its for those who know a drunk. AA is for those who are a drunk. You might as well look up a chapter in AA and get a program of suggestions. They will suggest a lot, there is really nothing you must do, but it helps if you do do some of what they suggest. Lastly, if you want to stay with your partner, you two might want to consider couple's counseling. I assure you, there is far much more going on with your relationship other than his sneaking a few beers. What he said! Ominous regressions One Truth... many realities |
Irdooooomed
User ID: 1243807 United States 01/26/2011 09:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's probably easier to cut down your drinking than to quit, for instance instead of buying a sixpack of beer just buy one beer. Drink the beer and enjoy the buzz. Then a week later buy another beer and soon it'll be a beer every two weeks and you won't see drinking as a problem anymore. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1139725 United States 01/26/2011 09:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 875198 United States 01/26/2011 09:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Congrats on not drinking for one month. I think even though you relapsed that is an awesome accomplishment you can look back to draw strength upon in the future. I recommend reading "Potatoes not Prozac" as the author has had great success in helping recovering alcoholics stay sober through diet. It's nothing real complicated but it has a very high (90+%) success rate. There is a strong connection between alcohol cravings and being sugar sensitive. If you feed your body in a way that keep blood sugar levels stable, cravings go away. For me, the best approach to my excessive drinking was to change my eating, what, how, and when I eat, in accordance with this book, which helped cravings, and then allowing myself to drink on a couple evenings a week but not excessively. If I tried to quit altogether I know I'd fail miserably. Looking for a physiological cause rather than an emotional and spiritual cause has helped me. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1244299 United States 01/26/2011 09:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 271412 United States 01/26/2011 09:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | How can you stay sober when the person you live with is still drinking? Quoting: noblesse obligethe sneaking is what pisses me. and i'm a guy. It's near impossible! He wreaks of Jameson right now (he just got home). And yeah, I think what bothers me the most is him trying to hide it, after he said he'd quit to support me. Thanks everyone for your positive responses. I've been against going to a meeting, but reading your posts makes me feel better, I guess thats the point of meetings except its in person. It is impossible. You can't hang around [much less live with] people who drink when you are trying to quit. If he isn't going to quit with you then you have a very important decision to make. You have to make new friends who don't need to drink to have a good time.. meetings are a good place to do this. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1199781 United States 01/26/2011 09:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | smokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweedsmokeweed GET IT? |
bishamonten
User ID: 1093212 United States 01/26/2011 09:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | do some dxm, it can help you ween off alcohol "Gentlemen! I despise each and every one of you. The people who have supported this worthless nation, this system is YOU! To be precise, The majority of the people who are watching this are my Sworn Enemies! I am calling upon the minority among you people." Two thousand years ago, a Roman Senator suggested that all slaves wear white armbands to better identify them. -"No," said a wiser Senator. "If they see how many of them there are, they may revolt." |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1139725 United States 01/26/2011 09:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1199781 United States 01/26/2011 09:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1139725 United States 01/26/2011 09:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | go to meetings Quoting: Salt & Lightclean house trust god read the book get a sponsor go to meetings clean house trust god read the book get a sponsor go to meetings clean house trust god read the book get a sponsor suck the cock like it won the lotto. wow... you seem like a really sweet, healthy person. thanks. [kissnoize] |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1244299 United States 01/26/2011 09:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1244857 Canada 01/26/2011 09:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
noblesse oblige
User ID: 1005770 United States 01/26/2011 09:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Life and Love
User ID: 1172773 United States 01/26/2011 09:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | sorry to be a buzzkill k aren Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1244857but isnt this like the 3rd thread you started about quiten drinkin? shit or get off the pot sister Let her start ten threads about it if that's what she needs to do. ^^This^^ We become like that to which we are devoted. - Choose wisely. |
ac User ID: 1094427 United States 01/26/2011 10:00 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
etherealgirl
User ID: 1194750 United States 01/26/2011 10:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | [link to www.soberrecovery.com] This is where you probably should be posting this sort of thing. For sure you won't get the smart-ass remarks that you are apt to get here. Maybe the simple detox wasn't enough? Are you in a position to take the time to do a n inpatient? It may be the best thing you have ever done, it may save your life. And even if the bf never stops drinking, remember you don't have to drink at him, the only one you are hurting there is you. And face it, if you were far enough gone to get DT's it IS a matter of life and death. Choose wisely. "I'm eschewing all men, cigarettes and carbohydrates".~Bridget Jones I don't care if you lick windows,take the special bus or occasionally pee on yourself...you hang in there sunshine, you're special. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1154162 United States 01/26/2011 10:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1236670 United States 01/26/2011 10:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
9 User ID: 1231376 Australia 01/26/2011 10:07 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1146950 United States 01/26/2011 10:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I was hospitalized for DTs and my boyfriend who I live with promised he'd quit with me. He volunteered to do this, and it was really helpful. Quoting: K_arenIt hasnt even been a month yet and I still want to drink all the time. One night I wasnt supposed to be home till late cause I had to go to NJ, but it was much quicker than I thought and I got back at like 3 pm ( I thought I'd be home at 10). He got home from work early with a 6 pack, I was kinda pissed but kept it to myself... His plan was drink it before I got home and pretend it didnt happen. Last week we went to a friends house for dinner and neither of us were drinking. I went out for a smoke and came back and he had a glass of whiskey in front of him. I didnt even want to go to the party because I said this would happen, I said it will be boring, everyone will be drinking but me, he said "I promise I wont." Anyway, I think he thought he would finish it before I got back upstairs. I got pissed and was like fuck it if youre doing it so am I. Thats been my only lapse so far. Now he's coming home later cause he's "going out with coworkers" and I'm sure they're just going out for "coffee" since thats what you do with coworkers. He's out right now and he really thinks I'm that stupid? I'm pissed. Keep up the good fight. I'll hit my two year mark on May 9th. of this year. I drank everyday for 15 yrs. Never believed I could put it down. I do hit a weed pipe from time to time. i know thats not in the AA hand book....but. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1222416 United States 01/26/2011 10:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Habits date habits, eventually. AA people all seem to be having the most parties and the most fun. Headaches and a certain degree of dysfunction we can do without. The headaches made me give it up, but only rarely, I'm not AA. But every AA person I know just, has a life now, their new AA buds and they party down, sans firewater. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1240774 United States 01/26/2011 10:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
page8844 User ID: 1172015 United States 01/26/2011 10:25 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | sorry to be a buzzkill k aren Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1244857but isnt this like the 3rd thread you started about quiten drinkin? shit or get off the pot sister Let her start ten threads about it if that's what she needs to do. ^^This^^ Really, I tried several dozons of times to stop. Started with beer then Rum which I still miss the smell. Then Wine. Went cold turkey because of you guessed it a woman. We are now devorced, but she was the support I needed to start. If you have the wrong kind of support then it makes it quite hard to stop. If he is still drinking get him out of your life till you are ready to be with him while he is drinking. I say that because my second wife will have a few drinks and it doesn't bother me at all. I started drinking when I was 17 and stopped when I was 34. The last 14 years drank till I passed out, 2 dui's not proud of at all. The first month is hell, then the first 6 months is about the same. Gets abit better after a year. Into the second year is when I didn't fill the desire to need a drink. K aren on day at a time, Listen one day at a time. When the first year went by I felt pretty good then the second felt even better. Going on 17 years now, several things come to mind that have changed for me. Most importantly my family which always stood by me, has improved my relationship with them. The amount of money saved. Stopped making love to the toilet once a week and I am now being able to watch sporting games till the end and remember them. When you drink till you passout all the time you miss alot of stuff. Good luck with your life choice. |