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| 09:35 PM | ||
| Users Online Now: 2,062 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 1,806,994 | |
| Pageviews Today: 2,657,586 | Threads Today: 724 | Posts Today: 15,024 |
| 09:35 PM | ||
What the heck is wrong with parents anymore? | |
Miggy
 User ID: 1183962  United States06/16/2011 12:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'm sorry you have been given so much flack about being appropriately concerned over waking up and finding your 13 year old son walking the neighborhood at midnight on a Wednesday night. Might I be the first to congratulate you on becoming a grandmother at some point in the next year? Another 13 year old child whose life is about to be ruined due to 18 years of forced child support because: 1. " I PROMISE I'm on the pill." 2. " The condom broke." 3. Etc, Etc, Etc. |
| 71cuda
User ID: 1367962 United States06/16/2011 12:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Most towns have a curfew for young teens. Anonymously call the police and tell them there are a couple of teens walking around at that hour. The police will pick them up and take each to their parents (your son to you). Problem solved - at least for now. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 999053cedar rapids iowa dosent have a curfew... but i do... feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku and artist, and facebook! [link to www.facebook.com] |
| 71cuda
User ID: 1367962 United States06/16/2011 12:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | OP, Quoting: MiggyI'm sorry you have been given so much flack about being appropriately concerned over waking up and finding your 13 year old son walking the neighborhood at midnight on a Wednesday night. Might I be the first to congratulate you on becoming a grandmother at some point in the next year? Another 13 year old child whose life is about to be ruined due to 18 years of forced child support because: 1. " I PROMISE I'm on the pill." 2. " The condom broke." 3. Etc, Etc, Etc. that wouldnt be the issue if she had been INVITED IN feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku and artist, and facebook! [link to www.facebook.com] |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1430415 United States06/16/2011 12:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | But, honestly, the simplest thing to do would have been to invite the girl into the house and then call her mother. You need to get a plan together because this may not be the first time your son sneaked out of the house. Maybe the first time with this particular girl though. I think even the "give the kid space" posters would agree that you should have some idea of where your son might be and who his friends are. But, they are right that getting super upset will just backfire. You need to let your son know the time you expect him to be in the house. Be aware, he might consider the yard and the street nearby to be part of the house. You might want to be specific... |
| amywood71605
User ID: 1422833 United States06/16/2011 01:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have a 13 year old daughter. Quoting: ladulce 770106Here is the reality: you can't control other people- even the girl's mother. Getting yourself worked up about her behavior is only going to make you crazy. Let it go. So, your job is to raise your son and assure the safety of him and his friend. I would have introduced myself to the girl, asked them if they wanted something to drink, brought my son inside and asked what was going on. My daughter has had friends call her in the middle of the night when there was a domestic abuse issue, or when an uncle (that was raising the child) died. My daughter came to me and asked for advice. In both instances, we got the kids and brought them here for the night. It has more to do with WHY was this girl dropped off. Assuming there is no emergency and they just wanted to 'hang', I would impliment very clear times for 'hanging' and any variation from that would mean punishment. For now, it isn't safe for them to be in the streets, offer them a place to talk inside the house where you can't hear them, but can listen. If you do a good job at this, your house will be the one that all of the kids want to go to and you won't have to worry about what your kid is doing. It may cost a few pizzas and some time, but, I love knowing what is going on with each of my daughter's friends. Priceless. This. Right away I thought there had been some sort of sad situation with the girl which she needed to talk about. But, if they were just meeting for the first time after being 'computer buddies', your son definitely needed to be more forthcoming. That said, some of my fondest memories are of 'walking at night' with my first boyfriend. At age 13. And no, I didn't get pregnant or anything. We were good friends and everything stayed above waist level. my house is like that-- everybody hangs out over here.. if i had the money i'd finsh the garage so i could go hide..:).. we've even had boys and girls stay over.. of course i dont sleep and annoy the hell out of them I hope my house is like that when my kids are older. They are 7, 4 and 4 1/2 months old right now. My mom was VERY strict, so much so that I rebelled....a lot. She expected my grades to be all A's, never wanted me to do go anywhere. She did let me play sports and do school activities (student council, national honor society, ect.), but then on weekends it was always a fight. I never wanted to be around her, which is sad. I don't want that to happen to me and my kids. "Live each day like it's your last, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching." GO PATS!! :Go Patriots!: |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1432592 United States06/17/2011 05:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Actually I am 27, and have three kids myself, three boys. And, I would much rather see my son walking up and down the street WHERE I CAN SEE HIM with a girl, then to be off somewhere else. Maybe you forgot, but teens WILL find a way to hang out with their friends, whether you let them or they sneak out. Walking with a girl at the age of 13? Is that really that bad? Omg, they can't walk together WHERE THE MOTHER CAN SEE! She'll end up pregnant!! Jesus, I have friends who have kids that are 13-15 and they would LOVE if their biggest problem was their kid walking around near their house. Quoting: amywood71605And you no doubt would be proud if the girl he was walking with had tattoos, right?! 13, do you understand that number? A child. Midnight. Outside. Walking with some strange girl who was allegedly dropped off by her mother and left there. Aside from the obvious, which is that the little scenario is completely unacceptable from a PROPER parenting standpoint - consider the liability if something bad happened. Failed parenting = societal decline and dysfunction. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 1432592 United States06/17/2011 05:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My mom was VERY strict, so much so that I rebelled....a lot. She expected my grades to be all A's, never wanted me to do go anywhere. She did let me play sports and do school activities (student council, national honor society, ect.), but then on weekends it was always a fight. I never wanted to be around her, which is sad. I don't want that to happen to me and my kids. Quoting: amywood71605That explains a lot about your posts. From YOUR OWN description, sounds like your mother was a responsible woman who expected her CHILD to be a child - which means get an education, good grades, she let you be involved in extra-curricular activities . . . but because you felt restricted on weekends, because you couldn't run out and be wild or whatever with peers you probably didn't need to be around anyway, you fought with her. Maybe she didn't want you to run around because kids do NOT need to run around. They need to focus on childhood priorities: education, family, constructive down time, and learning to be a responsible citizen And evidently, now you think you should give your kids the total free reign YOU wanted. If that's true, you're wrong. Kids WANT boundaries and when all is said and done, they'd take fair discipline and having a mom at home any day over corporate mom and freedom to do whatever they want. |
