Dumb blondes jokes

What's the difference between a blonde man and a blonde woman?

The woman has a higher sperm count.

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a compact with square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

"Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

She should wear a different color. I fucking hate pink! Pink fucking stinks! Wear a color like black or blue! Black and blue look sexy. Not pink though. Pink is the ugliest color ever! Lose the headband too. Headbands look fucking ugly!!!

That girl looks so hot in all that pink and pink headband she's wearing. Girls look so hot when they dress all in pink especially when they also wear a pink headband. Pink is by far the most feminine color of not to mention it's also the color of pussy which is why girls look so hot in pink. Headbands are also feminine and girls with headbands are sexy and girls dressed in pink and wearing pink headbands are super hot and feminine.

Why do blondes wear panties?
To keep their ankles warm.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.

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Why did the blonde couple stop having children after their second child was born?

They heard that every third child born was Chinese.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a Ferrari?

Not everyone has been inside a Ferrari.

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Why did the blonde write her zip code below her belly button?

She wanted to make sure the male made it to her box.

This chap told his blonde daughter not to accept rides from men she doesn't know. She's been standing at the bus stop for eight hours!

I'm a true blonde and this is by far the funniest blonde joke I've ever heard- and I've heard a lot of them :)

This blonde needs some money so she goes and knocks on her neighbour's door. Guy answers and blonde says she needs to make some extra money, does he have any odd jobs he needs done. He thinks and then says I need my porch painted. How much would you charge? Hmm, she says, ok $50. He thinks that's a good deal so he shows her where all the paint etc. is. Meanwhile his wife over hears the conversation and she says to him "dear, does she realize that the porch wraps around the whole house"? He says I think so she saw it. An hour later the blond comes in and says "I'm all done". He says " wow that was quick"! She says " and I have lots of paint left over". He says thanks and hands her the $50. She says thanks and oh by the way, that's not a porch, it's a Ferrari!!

What do you call a blonde who does as she's told?



A Golden Retriever



What do you call a blonde with a university degree?


A liar





What do you call a blonde with a chainsaw?


Dead

Last Edited by Rickster58 on 08/06/2014 12:57 AM

How do you tell which cubical belongs to the blonde secretary?

White-Out on the computer screen. He he.

What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?

She peed on her Corn Flakes

Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?

He didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?

Thanks for the refill

What did the blonde say when the
doctor told her she was pregnant?

Are you sure it's mine?

It'd be awesome if she stuck her headband in her pussy and jammed it really hard in her pussy then licked the cum off of it. That would be so hot.

I came up with a theory as to why blondes are dumb.
Here it is:
Blondes get sunburnt really easy due to their really pale skin and yet even though they get sunbunt so easily it seems like they like to lay out in the sun a lot, more than anyone else.
So I was thinking that it was the combination of the fact that blondes get sunburnt so easy but yet they like to lay out in the sun so much that all that getting sunburnt damages their brains and makes them dumb. Does anyone else agree with my theory?

LOL! That video was pretty funny. That girl was definitely hot but not so smart.

Actually I think headbands look sexy as hell on girls and I think that girls looks hot in pink.

My favorite one...

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building who hits the ground first?

The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

I agree. That girl is so fucking hot. And all that pink andpink headband she's wearing makes her even hotter.

a related joke...

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am now older and wiser and am looking for a girl with big tits

no.

a blond woman from mississippi engaged in coalburning.

She was burned alive and wished she hadnt listened to the jewish media.

Why do blonde's drive convertibles? More leg room

blondes blondes blondes blondes blondes blondes

Why was the blond staring at the fruit juice bottle

It said on the label 'concentrate'

Blonde decides to go for a bike ride one day, but complains that the seat is uncomfortable. She removes the seat and sits on the pole, and exclaims, 'Ahh, that's more like it!'.

Blonde goes to town one day because she wants some Dre Beats.

She returns home with a black boyfriend and two black eyes.

A blond is walking down beside a river and see's another blond on the other side.
She calls out " hello " to which the other blond responds " hi"
The first blond then ask's " how do I get to the other side "
The second blond with a confused look on her face say's
" what for your already over there"

How do you confuse a blond?

Show her a shovel and an axe

Then tell her to take her pick