OP -

I've been divorced twice - and got custody of my kids both times... Which, as a man, was unusual - but they were my kids and I was going to raise them. It is never easy sending your kids off to spend their mandated time with the other parent.

You can't control what the other parent does, short of bringing in the authorities - and unless there is actual abuse - that just makes you look uncooperative. Courts hate uncooperative.

A couple of days of neglect are unfortunate, but not really dangerous. Eventually he will tire of playing dad and the visits will become fewer and fewer, or he will get a clue if he cares about them. If he cared enough to stick it out he probably would have fought for a bigger role. So, give it a few months.

You can let him know what you expect, but you can't order him to do it. He's not married to you any more. Let him know what they need, not what you want done. Be basic with it. Necessities not wants.

Best of luck,

MCB