I'm starting to feel like I'm heading toward a cliff with no chance of turning back...

once you can see,and have a soul,there just is no point staying.i know there is no option (for me)and i pray to God,death is my end,no returning or other dimensions please.

Thank you for this thread and thank all of you for the intelligent posts. I'm glad to find like-minded people at this forum and appreciate threads like these. I am on the same path and will never go back to my old ways of living. Thank you all and love and peace to you.

the fear is strong today,,,just been out my kid wamted to go to a park or club,,,i went on car park twice and to other places ,,but couldnt get out of car total fear,,i had to shout her him back,,,then i got out of car at home and wanted to kick the mirrors off ,i feel the wolf now and im a rabbit as some one handed me a rabbit in a dream,wolfs hunt rabbit after they got the big prey,,no wonder folk are ending it,,,i must be a dammed but hey the game is rigged.so im reckoning 7th mth for me or before and wam,,wolf or freezer an i aint a no arch villan never been on the inside ,,i only abused myself but hey thats what i was taught that im no good an was evil amount to nothing,,yep evil for who i hung about with,,ya know people with nothing who fell to ill ways..i wouldnt say evil just not lucky,clever,,and abused. going to pray tonight,,my only hope is lord jesus christ

Something is coming, and I am so glad you got away from mainstream society.

I want to move into the woods and never come back as each day passes.

I remember only a few years ago buying cars, saving/planning over years and working, spending stupid amounts of money close to $100k on them, enjoying differant events, wasting my time drifting on track, never thinking about reality. Coming up with long term plans and now at 22 starting building my own home and hoping that things don't go to shit, whilst I know they will. I feel crazy, I'm loosing my mind, pretending I'm stable and everythings going to be ok. Do I ignore the evidence? Do I embarrass myself now and stock up like some lunatic claiming WW3 is coming ( it feels like tomorrow and sometimes I feel it's too late). I want to be normal. I want to not think of shit hitting the fan and basing my lifes decisions thinking doom is around the corner. For example, should you feel happy to bring a child into this world thinking of the fear and pain thats already around us? I feel I think too much, my friends say I do. I'm not sure anymore... I don't feel stable anymore, like the floor is going to collapse... No where is safe type feeling. Apparently I've got my whole life ahead of me... Only time will tell... I'd rather die then take anyones life, no matter how bad that person is, just incase there is something after death, I'm not ruining myself for them, although I can say, I'm already scared. I never used to be. I'm not scared for myself. I feel for my family, my friends, the world.

we can make the universe smile! rainbows connecting hearts!



thank YOU XX

Thank you for this, OP. This is exactly how I feel. I have been feeling this way for a very long time. I probably just noticed what it was though about 9 or so years ago. It is getting considerably more difficult by the day though, just over the last few months. Something is about to happen, I don't know what or when, but I feel it more and more every day and make sure when I tuck my kids into bed at night that I have absolutely everything in order. I am not afraid for myself or my kids, I welcome it. I am, however, afraid for other people in my life who I don't think will be able to handle whatever is to happen.
I don't hate my job, but I feel like it is a complete waste of my time, etc. In reality, it isn't, it pays my bills and feeds my kids, but I feel like I shouldn't be sitting here at work all day while my kids are in school. I should be with them, we should be exploring, or having a picnic, or painting, or something. Soon.....

After so many years in the 'system', doing all of the things society expects one to do....cars, houses, shit jobs, buy, consume, etc....I went through a divorce 5yrs ago and have since 'woke up' to the BS machinations of this petty, vapid, robotic world.

I lost my job 2yrs ago and like a good robot I have been scrambling, almost begging to get back into the system that has destroyed me. Why?

I sit and watch all of the meaningless sh*t that goes on and feel so disconnected from it. Like I know something everyone else doesnt . Almost like I've risen above the chaos...even though I'm damn near a hobo. I've lost it all and, frankly, no longer want any of it back. It seems so...pointless. And I don't mean that in a 'suicidal' way....just feel like I'm SO ready for whatever change is coming. There are days I just feel like grabbing the backpack and hitting the road...it seems like just experiencing the world and being 'free' from the rest of the herd is the only thing that might cure this wanderlust....this chasm of the soul. Like my soul is screaming to be what it needs to be...and that isn't going to be found in mainstream society.

This feeling sort of reminds me of Dreyfus in Close Encounters where he's shaping Devil's Tower out of mashed potatoes. Like the feeling is so overpowering yet coming from somewhere else. A calling.

But I'll be damned if I know where its coming from.

I'm just so TIRED of most everything...its all so trivial. What are we supposed to do, walk into the unknown to die in the woods? Wish I had a clue....yet I'm ready should it come.

Your dead on with this. It's like trying to figure it out and it's getting increasingly more intense almost head spinning at times, like I'm (or we) are almost there.

Thanks OP!!

OP and other like-minded responders: THANK YOU! This is why I am drawn to GLP - seeking assurance that I ma indeed not alone. We are traveling the High Road which only a handful of us seem to have found. I wish I could meet you all for a beer - I bet it would feel like a family reunion of sorts. LOVE AND PEACE TO YOU ALL - we'll be together soon!


I wake each day and seek the doom,
Why do I wish it to come so soon?

Why do I search to connect more dots
And scan GLP for Earth's hot spots?

Why my heart jumps who really knows
When I read of quakes and new volcanoes.

Faith in system is broken, but not in Man -
Why is it most cannot see what so few of us can?

I get chills and thrills as the end draws near -
Is it because I know now I'm not from here?

Is it because in many ways I feel so alone,
And all my soul desires is the chance to go home?

Feeling trapped and caged on this Earthly plane,
Grown weary of Man's madness - their self-inflicted pain.

We've tried to pry Man's eye awake -
But now the whole Earth must bake and shake.

My soul searches for any lessons left to learn -
While I sit here waiting for the planet to burn.

I ponder and seek the reason I'm here,
Am I a soldier of light to help fight the fear?

Maybe the arrival of the wicked that comes this way,
Will be the day I teach others to fly away …

Yes the sides you are referring to are:
1) Yahweh, Yahshuah (Jesus Christ,) and the Holy Spirit
2) Satan and his minions

Pick a side.
(I'd pick God if I were you. The Bible tells you what happens in the end...)

I'm not sure that "picking sides" is relevant, to be honest. Our "inner light" will guide us, I feel, as it is guiding us now. There are concepts that chime and those that don't; I've a feeling that "flying by the seats of our pants" is becoming the only trustworthy method.

------

As a child, I always loathed 'acting' or 'role playing' that might have been encouraged under various circumstances in a school setting, it made me cringe. It always felt so unnatural and 'not me!'. I still can't stand it as a middle-aged adult. I only know how to be one person, and that's myself. Integrity is so important and I cannot bring myself to display fake emotions, or to bite my lip and not let my true feelings be known, about anything and everything. Laws of social interaction (or mores) play such a huge role in shaping and guiding peoples' behavior and they don't even realize the superficiality of the large majority of social interactions that take place. So many people are consumed and conditioned to act & behave like they learned you should given the circumstances, that they need to act & behave in a certain manner or risk ridicule and social rejection from the peers around them. It accounts for some much of the bullshit that occurs in society.

I think at some point when your consciousness adapts or grows/changes, you realize that you don't need to form your identity based on the social approval or recognition of others. That enables you to be your true self and honor your individual feelings & emotions without the filter that is the social feedback of those around you. It feels so liberating. I don't have to feel bad about or pretend to have a loving relationship with my brother just because he's "my brother". I don't have to pretend to be happy for someone I barely know at work when my coworkers decide to have a bridal or baby shower for a coworker I have no meaningful relationship with. I don't have to agree to attend social events if I don't have a genuine interest in going. I'm not attending a wedding I don't care to attend simply because I was invited and it might be perceived as 'rude' not to attend.

I think you start to break away from all these social constraints that really inhibit people from being and outwardly projecting their true identities & feelings. I feel honesty & integrity are such vital character attributes. You might piss somebody off along the way but at least you can take pride in knowing that you were always yourself, and never somebody else that others wanted or expected you to be. I feel like anyone around you who might not understand, eventually will 'get it', they just are a little further behind in the process that you are experiencing, and eventually, in this life or the next, they'll understand why you expressed yourself in the manner in which you did.

No more group think. Everyone need start thinking about who they are and how they really feel in their heart, and stop focusing on how others will perceive them.

Just wanted to say there are so many excellent posts in this thread that I could spend all day responding & expanding on some great ideas that have been shared

Welcome to 0bamanation...

^This, I have a ton of survival/camping gear in my storage locker, and I don't know why, but sometimes I just want to get it and run away to the mountains. I know I don't have anywhere near the neccasarry skills or supplies, but god dammit I just want to be self sufficient. I want to know that my life does not rely on some corporation delivering the food or water in time. I need to find a survival group, I am not making enough effort in this area, to find like minded people and build real relationships and plans for tshtf

Fuck, we need a way to organize after the shtf. I know I started a thread about a sign to flash upon meeting people to know we are all friends. I would say though, that there would not be a whole lot of encounters, either you are hiding out in your shelter, or you are out to scavenge/scout and you don't want to meet another group, so you or the other party, makes effort to avoid the encounter.

We Need Signposts!

But not the obvious kind of signpost, or else you will attract everyone.

It needs to be subtle, like a stick in the ground, with a green piece of fabric on it, and a branch stick out to where the next signpost is.

Stick these at major intersections of roads surrounding your sanctuary, expanding the range outward as you expand your scouted land.

What saddens me is that in the coming months, many people will do irrational things such as sever ties, sell belongings or give money to charlatans all in preparation for an event (whatever that means) that will not occur.

Please people, don't encourage it. Behavior like that is going to lead to a lot of hurt people and families in 2013.

Got a few things to add to this thread:

First, survival if SHTF. Now this is my opinion, feel free to ignore: I believe that if shit does go major, there will be nowhere on Earth you can hide. The technology that the military have in space is so powerful and all pervasive there is literally nowhere you can hide. They will be able to locate groups or individuals and dispose of them efficiently. I had dreams about this as a young child.. being tracked by satellite and trying to outrun its weapon. I wouldn't be suprised if they can actually read your mind from space..

Realize that the desire to run away to the woods or go travelling will not quench the desire inside you. As soon as you sit quiet again the mind will once again return to the itch.. the only way out is in. What you are really after is the answer to the quesion, Who am I?


The system sucks. You're still not over the emotional component of this trauma either.. and others in this thread aren't either. This is normal. You were raised on the system and lied to by parents, school, culture. It takes time to weep and move on. But you will most likely come back and get a job etc.. you develop this kind of non-attachment attitude.. there is little that can be done by you alone, except to improve yourself and those directly connected with you. That is all you can do. That is all that is asked of you, of anyone, unless the road opens up for you to go further.

If you reached the peak (Enlightenment) you would still have to come back down again and be part of the world. That IS this life. Remember why you exist at all, as a human that is.. to procreate and to fertilize the earth. No one escapes this bondage. Just remember that beneath the skin you are already immortal and none of this matters. It is just a movie..

I am 25. I found out about this stuff when i was 16 after blowing my mind with mushrooms. I am now working to get a degree.. and I'm getting top grades. But i don't care. I couldn't give two shits about what im doing, but that also allows me to be good at it strangely enough. It is a subject that is relevant to reshaping mans interaction with the environment.

I used to smoke cannabis constantly to escape into fantasy land.. now I am sober 99% of the time. I am learning to undo all the mental damage done by parents and society by resolving the underlying emotional components. It's like unwinding a knotted ball of yarn.. one thread at a time..

====

Change or no change. If nothing happens I don't care anymore. I found out who I really am. This understanding can never be stripped from me. I am just glad to have remembered whilst alive..

Don't lose sight of your own impending mortality. You are only here once. But die a little each day and soon you will be free

Much of what's said on this page, esp Anhedonic about social constraints, made me think it's an age thing. You know, you get to 40 and you don't care what people think of you any more, you get to 50 and hey, life is for living. I've certainly been through that curve.

That's not all of it, though. The age thing plainly is about feeling confident and comfortable shunning social mores, doesn't mean you haven't been diverging for some while.

How many responding to this thread are "questioners"? The mere fact we're here would indicate that we all are, accepting less and less the "information" we're being fed as-is - and that starts at a young age. When you get to the "omega point" where you trust almost nothing from outside, you're flying solo. Perhaps that's what all of this is about.

Please do I would love to hear more of your ideas

Anything that can wipe our ass out is a good thing!

I'm sorry that I left this lovely thread hanging. I was banned for the last few days. I live in my little pickup truck and I have been traveling the U.S. for several months now. I can't seem to just sit in one place any more. This causes my IP address to constantly change. This may have been the cause.

Anyway, I just got caught up on the beautiful replies. You people are amazing! Thank you all!

You helped me a lot!

If I ever just drop off line some days, don't worry. Just my life style.

Peace and love,
Fibonacci

I meant to post this a few days ago...

==================================

Let's talk for a minute about fear. Fear itself is natural. When we are in danger or feel threatened, fear is understandable and is really a good thing. However, most fear can be debilitating and limiting. We first must understand and accept that separation and disconnection from other people is the primary cause of most fear. Society today is built on separation and as such, todays society is fear based. So, to get rid of the fear and anxiety, we are told to reconnect and bond with people, friends, the church etc. This causes the fear to ease, but I believe that this is the ultimate trap. Our desire to end the fear and suffering leads us back to society, family and other societal bonds, causing us to never follow our own true path to ascension. When we feel the need to end our fear and return to the safety of others, we ultimately end up living the life others expect of us. This, in my view, is the ultimate form of control and is the primary source of all of our suffering. This need to live our lives the way others expect of us is nothing less than spiritual slavery. This is our age old Earthy enslavement.

In truth, to become the ascended beings we desire to become, we need to directly face our fears and to even embrace them as part of our Earthly condition, not suppress them. Our constant need to stop the fear keeps us under control, suffering and enslaved. It is not until we see our fears as necessary for our spiritual growth can we begin to be truly free. Many wise beings have told us throughout history that the path to ascension is very difficult and lonely at times. This is because we must travel our true path alone. That is the key. We don't try to end our fear, instead we must accept our fear and loneliness as part of our spiritual growth with balance, love and courage.

This is why so many real ascended masters sought long periods of solitude or became hermits. The separation, loneliness and the associated fear are a natural part of the growth process. So many people today believe that they are becoming awakened. They join groups, desire close spiritual friendships and personal teachers. They join organizations that promote bonding, closeness and spiritual intimacy. These people are actally being deceived and are kept enslaved by the same system that they were trying to escape from.

Family, in my view, is a major source of our fear and control. I don't believe that the people we know as our family are any closer to us than the rest of the people on this planet. They are just people that have come to incarnate with us here at this time. To believe that our family is somehow a special bond is one of the ultimate traps to keep us enslaved and in pain. We will do or be almost anything do keep from losing our friends or family.

Now don't get me wrong. We should love them all! They are struggling through this matrix and doing the best they can just like we are. We should love all life really. We just don't need them close to us all the time.

The true path is a path that we must walk alone, with courage, love and balance. We don't need a teacher, guru, priest or master to show us the way. We don't need a husband/wife, friend, brother/sister, father/mother to encourage and to comfort us. What we need to do is to treat all beings as our true brothers and sisters. We then must accept our fear and walk this amazing world alone, being the being we need to become. Only then will we be able to follow our own true path with grace and love in our hearts.

I know that this understanding will not resonant with many, but that is ok. Do what feels right for you. Not what someone else expects you to be.

Peace,
Fibonacci