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humbly asking for advice

 
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 12:07 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
When you split from his father he became the issue, a finacualy burden and a means to punish a man.

The money went to a system that will use it to create more money.

What has he been taught at this point.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3626503


no not punishing...not sure what a 'finacualy' is but pretty sure this is not the case. thank you though!
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


It is the case,

he knows that you would do anything for him,

thats to much presure.

He most likely knows his dad has to pay and who taught him his dad sucks ?

This is part of a broken system.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3626503


not only did his dad hit me when he was 2 weeks old, but he also kidnapped my son when he was 1.5 years old and by the grace i got him back...that is why he has no contact. we do not discuss his father in a negative way. he just knows what he needs to know and that is the fact that his dad is nuts. it's not something i sit around and harp on. i'm very pragmatic and honest.
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3626503
United States
07/20/2012 12:21 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
There needs to be new ways written to fix this.

Some are out allready but are to scarry for most still.

The advantages the other kids have in stable homes is not fare.

It's time to go a different dirrection.

I am a product and I have dated single mothers.
Chione latilirata

User ID: 18589343
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07/20/2012 12:24 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
Thirteen......that's when it starts and it can last until they are sixteen. As a previous poster stated.....don't be his friend.

Hang in there and enjoy your vintage house! Portland is a beautiful city. Many nice old neighborhoods. I lived there for several years.
There is nothing so powerful as truth, and often nothing so strange ~ Daniel Webster

Omnia Vincit Amor ~ Virgil

The more you learn, the less you know ~ Socrates

That writer does the most, who gives his reader the most knowledge, and takes from him the least time. ~ Charles Caleb Colton
SPUD

07/20/2012 12:25 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
Thirteen......that's when it starts and it can last until they are sixteen.
 Quoting: Chione latilirata


or 36
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"
___________
"May your chains rest lightly upon you..."
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 12:26 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
There needs to be new ways written to fix this.

Some are out allready but are to scarry for most still.

The advantages the other kids have in stable homes is not fare.

It's time to go a different dirrection.

I am a product and I have dated single mothers.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3626503


i would really like to hear more of your thoughts.
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 12:27 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
Thirteen......that's when it starts and it can last until they are sixteen. As a previous poster stated.....don't be his friend.

Hang in there and enjoy your vintage house! Portland is a beautiful city. Many nice old neighborhoods. I lived there for several years.
 Quoting: Chione latilirata


i feel so blessed to have this!!! we're in the heart of hawthorne. right by belmont, division hood, everything...and i have a very nice bike. :)

i sew and repair vintage clothing, so it's ideal for me.

it is an absolutely beautiful city. hf we have rain, everything is green, i work in gardens so it's perfect.

and thank you.

Last Edited by Anne O'Mally on 07/20/2012 12:30 PM
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15366249
United States
07/20/2012 12:32 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
could be worse. You could have a 13 year old DAUGHTER who hates you. That lasts a good 5 years.

Whatever your son's deal is he will get over it. Why would you even consider sending him to live with his dad?

Sounds like you are overly attached and was trying to be his friend like others here have suggested.

Be the mom and if you have to grow a pair to do that, then do it.
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
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07/20/2012 12:32 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
Thirteen......that's when it starts and it can last until they are sixteen.
 Quoting: Chione latilirata


or 36
 Quoting: SPUD


SHOOSH, you!!!!

i am trying so hard to raise a boy who can not only do his dishes and clean up but be a snuggler and a hero! not enough men know how to snuggle so i always made sure my boy had plenty of hugs. :)

he is incredibly intelligent, maybe it was the hugs...? :)
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 12:35 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
could be worse. You could have a 13 year old DAUGHTER who hates you. That lasts a good 5 years.

Whatever your son's deal is he will get over it. Why would you even consider sending him to live with his dad?

Sounds like you are overly attached and was trying to be his friend like others here have suggested.

Be the mom and if you have to grow a pair to do that, then do it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15366249


*10-4, thank you!

i've never had to crack the whip, as it were, because he has always been amazingly good. but this teen thing, wow! i am trying to understand the hormonal crap and talk to him and acknowledge that so we have better understanding.

don't you even THINK about speaking to me in that disrespectful tone of voice! :P

*over

Last Edited by Anne O'Mally on 07/20/2012 12:36 PM
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anonymous Coward
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07/20/2012 12:38 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
what happened to the love we had? he was my honey pie till last month. a part of me wants to be free because i sacrificed so much for 13 years....but i still love him.

this sux.
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


And...this statement really bugs me lady. I am a mom who raised a daughter (almost 19 now) with an alcoholic and abusive husband. I kept her safe and I didn't have much of a life during those years but I hardly feel like I "sacrificed" anything to raise her. You want to be free now after 13 years? Wow. I wish someone would have told ME that there was an expiration date on caring for the children we CHOSE to have.

He probably hates you because you make your feelings apparent to him (even if you don't come out and SAY the words). Kids aren't stupid.

You sound very immature. But enjoy that lovely Victorian house.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/20/2012 12:40 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
i would really like to hear more of your thoughts.
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


Well first of all I'm clearly illiderate, not by choice.

What I will offer may put tons of people over the edge on this thread.

It may be the first of its kind, an experiment designed to fit into a new world order.

Is that to much already ?
mr...bojangles

User ID: 20152453
Mexico
07/20/2012 12:47 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
he is upset cause he left his friends behind?

ne school peers are awful to new students....

he is upset cause you didn`t talk to him about moving....

you only thought about yourself and your materialist ideas....

now you see the reality of things...

if you really love your son you need to communicate the things you will do that will affect him greatly....

life isn`t about materialism....it`s about emotions and the world that shapes them....

be careful....

it`s not easy raising a child....

communication is the key....

trust is in first order....

your son is under peer pressure....

remember that...
Beyond one's own mind there is no dazzling light to come shining in from outside to wake one up. If one recognizes one's own intrinsic State as pure from the beginning and only temporarily obscured by impurities, and if one maintains the presence of this recognition without becoming distracted, then all the impurities dissolve. This is the essence of the Path-namkhai norbu.

Why is there a legend about the descent of Christ into hell? The Teacher addressed the lower strata of the astral world, saying: �Why, by cherishing earthly thoughts, bind oneself eternally to Earth?� And many revolted in spirit and rose higher.
Thread: I shot video of the earth from my spacecraft, enjoy!
Anonymous Coward
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07/20/2012 12:53 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
If you are serious about parenting get "Yes, your Teen is Crazy" by Michael J. Bradley. The library probably has it.

It is full of really good advice for how to understand your teen and how to talk to them and how to get them to talk to you.

But seriously, you are bugging me with your attitude. It sounds like everything was great as long as the kid was behaving but now he is showing normal rebellion you are not happy. Welcome to real parenting. This is the age when they REALLY need us even though they claim they don't.

I would check out some more parenting teens advice books as well. It sounds like you need them as I have a feeling you were not parented in the best way yourself.
Chione latilirata

User ID: 18589343
United States
07/20/2012 12:56 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
There needs to be new ways written to fix this.

Some are out allready but are to scarry for most still.

The advantages the other kids have in stable homes is not fare.

It's time to go a different dirrection.

I am a product and I have dated single mothers.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3626503


10. Thou shalt not covet they neighbors stuff.

Product? Of what? ???
There is nothing so powerful as truth, and often nothing so strange ~ Daniel Webster

Omnia Vincit Amor ~ Virgil

The more you learn, the less you know ~ Socrates

That writer does the most, who gives his reader the most knowledge, and takes from him the least time. ~ Charles Caleb Colton
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 12:56 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
what happened to the love we had? he was my honey pie till last month. a part of me wants to be free because i sacrificed so much for 13 years....but i still love him.

this sux.
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


And...this statement really bugs me lady. I am a mom who raised a daughter (almost 19 now) with an alcoholic and abusive husband. I kept her safe and I didn't have much of a life during those years but I hardly feel like I "sacrificed" anything to raise her. You want to be free now after 13 years? Wow. I wish someone would have told ME that there was an expiration date on caring for the children we CHOSE to have.

He probably hates you because you make your feelings apparent to him (even if you don't come out and SAY the words). Kids aren't stupid.

You sound very immature. But enjoy that lovely Victorian house.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15366249


you are correct, and i thank you for that nod. the house is something i am taking on because it meets HIS needs, as well as my own, but first and foremostly his needs. it gives me great joy to bring him back to his friends and school. he deserves that.

he doesn't hate me. he gives me shoulder rubs and tells me how good i am. but when i posted this, boy were we in a moment! so be assured, it's not a hate thing, it's just a learning curve cause um...13!!!! boy!!!! need advice as a single parent of one exceptional human who is 13 and yeah, voice changing means a lot of hormonal stuff, his voice JUST started changing so i am trying to wrap my head around how to communicate with the lad.

i very much chose to have him. :)
worth my weight in squirrels.
Chione latilirata

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United States
07/20/2012 12:58 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
Just want to make clear my comment about the kid being thirteen had nothing to do with masturbation.....sheesh.....is that all you guys think about?
There is nothing so powerful as truth, and often nothing so strange ~ Daniel Webster

Omnia Vincit Amor ~ Virgil

The more you learn, the less you know ~ Socrates

That writer does the most, who gives his reader the most knowledge, and takes from him the least time. ~ Charles Caleb Colton
AC
User ID: 1560850
United States
07/20/2012 12:59 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
A boy needs his mother.

Keep him with you. The hate will fade in time, but the love you two have for one another will stand the test of time.

Thoughts and good vibes going out to you, Celtic Lady.
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 01:00 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
If you are serious about parenting get "Yes, your Teen is Crazy" by Michael J. Bradley. The library probably has it.

It is full of really good advice for how to understand your teen and how to talk to them and how to get them to talk to you.

But seriously, you are bugging me with your attitude. It sounds like everything was great as long as the kid was behaving but now he is showing normal rebellion you are not happy. Welcome to real parenting. This is the age when they REALLY need us even though they claim they don't.

I would check out some more parenting teens advice books as well. It sounds like you need them as I have a feeling you were not parented in the best way yourself.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15366249


you are absolutely right. my parent was abusive. i vowed to not do that to my own child, and i haven't.

normal rebellion. ok thank you cause i don't know what is normal for a 13 year old boy!!!! and thank you for the book referral. i think it is time to read up. everything changes fast at this age and i was never a boy, so i would like very much to be able to understand and be a good parent in this change.

why do you think i am asking for advice? single mom, one kid, just trying to understand. thank you for your input.
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
07/20/2012 01:03 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
oh and another thing...i am a pretty hot lady. my kid acts like it's fucking Armageddon if i get a boyfriend. wtf. i need a life, ya know?

am i not supposed to be hot if i am a mom? am i supposed to put the brakes on libido? i mean...i am a very hot lady. do i just....STOP being hot and how do i deal with men wanting me? do i tell them my son is my man? wow. yikes! i need my own life!

NOOOOOO~!
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


REALLY feel sorry for your kid

newsflash sugartits. YOU ARE A PARENT

pathetic
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18558820


Yeah , I kind of felt a bit sorry for her at the start , until all this " I m so hot" stuff came out....sounds to me like the boy is cramping her style and she wants a valid excuse to pack him off to daddy so she can go and screw men.....just my opnion !
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 01:05 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
A boy needs his mother.

Keep him with you. The hate will fade in time, but the love you two have for one another will stand the test of time.

Thoughts and good vibes going out to you, Celtic Lady.
 Quoting: AC 1560850


THANK YOU. hf
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anonymous Coward
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07/20/2012 01:06 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice



A product of a single mother.

The nieghbors and a comunity are the most important part.
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 01:08 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
oh and another thing...i am a pretty hot lady. my kid acts like it's fucking Armageddon if i get a boyfriend. wtf. i need a life, ya know?

am i not supposed to be hot if i am a mom? am i supposed to put the brakes on libido? i mean...i am a very hot lady. do i just....STOP being hot and how do i deal with men wanting me? do i tell them my son is my man? wow. yikes! i need my own life!

NOOOOOO~!
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


REALLY feel sorry for your kid

newsflash sugartits. YOU ARE A PARENT

pathetic
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18558820


Yeah , I kind of felt a bit sorry for her at the start , until all this " I m so hot" stuff came out....sounds to me like the boy is cramping her style and she wants a valid excuse to pack him off to daddy so she can go and screw men.....just my opnion !
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 17032261


oh i knew that was going to be misinterpreted. i explained that i get *hit on* a lot, and i don't follow through because i'm not that person. my kid does come first. so whatever. but i can understand why you came to that conclusion. please see my follow-up comment.

nickel between the knees for this lady. :)
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/20/2012 01:10 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
I want to go way the fuck over here for a second,

is the UN and the central bank the same entity ?
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 01:11 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
what happened to the love we had? he was my honey pie till last month. a part of me wants to be free because i sacrificed so much for 13 years....but i still love him.

this sux.
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


And...this statement really bugs me lady. I am a mom who raised a daughter (almost 19 now) with an alcoholic and abusive husband. I kept her safe and I didn't have much of a life during those years but I hardly feel like I "sacrificed" anything to raise her. You want to be free now after 13 years? Wow. I wish someone would have told ME that there was an expiration date on caring for the children we CHOSE to have.

He probably hates you because you make your feelings apparent to him (even if you don't come out and SAY the words). Kids aren't stupid.

You sound very immature. But enjoy that lovely Victorian house.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15366249


why would you raise a child with an alcoholic abusive husband? not judging, just curious as to why you stayed with that and put your kid through it.
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 01:13 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
I want to go way the fuck over here for a second,

is the UN and the central bank the same entity ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3626503


yeah you'd think, right? this country is owned by 4 corporations. it's not as diverse as we'd like to think based off the 'choices' they give us. so definitely something to look into. :)
worth my weight in squirrels.
parrotsandwhiskey

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07/20/2012 01:14 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
Just want to drop in and give you a virtual hug hf

I am a single momma to two teenage boys - 15 and 17. We have had our ups and downs for sure! Life is complicated and messy and full of wonder. As long as you keep loving him and keep working on being the best mom you can be, it will all work out.

When my youngest was 13, he was in a space where he was being pretty hostile toward me. But something miraculous happened during that time. I managed to get him his own computer, and he discovered that he loved creating video games. (He's an artist.) Since then, he's taught himself how to program, and I encouraged those copious hours in front of the screen. He just released his first game into beta testing, and folks from all over the world are playing it! How cool! He has told me time and time again how he has appreciated that I saw his talent and let him do what he wanted to do, even though it meant overnight gaming and slacking on school work. He just got into a great arts school, so somehow it all worked out.

And it will work out with your sweet boy, too, even if he is more sour than sweet right now.

Love to you both!
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 01:15 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
Just want to make clear my comment about the kid being thirteen had nothing to do with masturbation.....sheesh.....is that all you guys think about?
 Quoting: Chione latilirata


chuckle

yeah see spuds' comment...don't grow out of it till 36? SHEESH!!!!
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
07/20/2012 01:15 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
oh i knew that was going to be misinterpreted. i explained that i get *hit on* a lot, and i don't follow through because i'm not that person. my kid does come first. so whatever. but i can understand why you came to that conclusion. please see my follow-up comment.

nickel between the knees for this lady. :)
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


This is important too.

Now there's even more presure on both of you.
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 01:17 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
Just want to drop in and give you a virtual hug hf

I am a single momma to two teenage boys - 15 and 17. We have had our ups and downs for sure! Life is complicated and messy and full of wonder. As long as you keep loving him and keep working on being the best mom you can be, it will all work out.

When my youngest was 13, he was in a space where he was being pretty hostile toward me. But something miraculous happened during that time. I managed to get him his own computer, and he discovered that he loved creating video games. (He's an artist.) Since then, he's taught himself how to program, and I encouraged those copious hours in front of the screen. He just released his first game into beta testing, and folks from all over the world are playing it! How cool! He has told me time and time again how he has appreciated that I saw his talent and let him do what he wanted to do, even though it meant overnight gaming and slacking on school work. He just got into a great arts school, so somehow it all worked out.

And it will work out with your sweet boy, too, even if he is more sour than sweet right now.

Love to you both!
 Quoting: parrotsandwhiskey


yes yes yes mamma! thank you!!!!

encourage the gifts. big heart flowers to you.
worth my weight in squirrels.
Anne O'Mally  (OP)

User ID: 18847930
United States
07/20/2012 01:19 PM
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Re: humbly asking for advice
oh i knew that was going to be misinterpreted. i explained that i get *hit on* a lot, and i don't follow through because i'm not that person. my kid does come first. so whatever. but i can understand why you came to that conclusion. please see my follow-up comment.

nickel between the knees for this lady. :)
 Quoting: Anne O'Mally


This is important too.

Now there's even more presure on both of you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3626503


LOL!!!! that's what i was saying. wow now i think we took it to a new level. fur the luvva, dang it!

i can shut it off, but how do i give considerate advice to a 13 year old boy? no male role model so...i guess that's a good thing or a bad thing, he's going to have to define his sexuality himself.
worth my weight in squirrels.





GLP