Déjà vu

on occasion i have even startled myself with a nose whistle!

i look around to see what made that noise! lol

it was 14:00 ish time, i was putting on my bike shoes. i was in a horrible mood. as i was putting on my shoes, the clearest voice that i have ever heard in my whole life spoke to me. it called me by my name, and said, "IF YOU GO ON A BIKE RIDE RIGHT NOW YOU WILL DIE."

i literally gave the middle finger to the sky, and said "great, do it, you'd be doing me a favor. DO IT!"

i get nauseous when i recall the sound made when my head hit, it was the most horrendous sound in the world. it's way different then my 2010 accident, because in 2010 i have no memory of the actual accident.

two days prior to 9/17, a car came within an inch of hitting me, as it came around a blind corner and went way over to the other side of the road where i was, and i had a "seeing G-d" moment on that day, and it didn't even phase me, it excited me that i almost died.

i had made a website in august to predict my death date on, and i had predicted that i would die on 9/19.

if my intuition told me i was going to die, why did i tell it to go fuck itself?

yesterday a BMW didn't see me as i was crossing the street, and almost hit me.

i like to eat my boogers, i never feel like i get enough protein, and i feel like my boogers give me a protein boost.

also, i don't think i could ever take a bath, i have an inability to sit still for more than 2 minutes. i hate taking showers, as i rather smell bad as it keeps people away from me.

sorry, thought it was important to let you know how gross and unstable i am.

i try and always listen to my intuition. i navigate best when i do so.

the predicaments you describe precludes a self determination
of nihilism. life is not meaningless, to prevent something from happening is preclusion. possibly the nature of your conflict.

you maybe trying to prove to yourself that life is meaningless at it's face, yet you have preclusions that attempt to prevent you from fulfilling your nihilism. it's an interesting juxtapose of self determination! you are truly a weird ass! lol

i understand, so i won't get to deep into your shit, ok? lol

i just heard thunder! if i wasn't so adverse to the extra work of having to clean my bike, i'd go take a ride in the rain! lol

why are you acting so paranoid? quit searching my posting history! lol

okay, i won't do that one again, sorry.

since then i listen to my intuition much more, what that accident took from me though was all the nerves to control my arm, and i don't think i will ever be able to swim like i did before 9/17, and that breaks my heart, because it's my own fault.

what is the meaning of life? is it unique to each individual, or is there a universal meaning?

well i didn't eat any of my boogers today, because i know i'm not supposed to. i was about to eat a booger, and my intuition said, hey, don't do that!

a wise man would tell you it's achieving your higher self, fulfilling your destiny in spite of your fate! me, i think it has to do with assisting your fellow human being realize their relationship G-d, others and themselves! lol

eating your own boogers sounds messy, do you lick your fingers afterwards? lol

i have a really bad habit of licking all kinds of things.

i have a problem, i am the polar opposite of a germophobe, i am a germophile.

do you think this is a serious problem?

the 2013 lies and alibies was never so cynical! she was open and nurturing! besides the brain injury what else has transpired? lol

i doesn't matter what i think, what do you think? lol

thank you, for that.

i enjoy spending time with other people, when i feel like myself.

nick and nack among click of clack
were singing, "jan janson has a bone"
creepy crafty crawling
lost and found around wandering
paddywhack, did your whale phone home?

how many hands does time have?
slicing another iridescent universe
in a single subconscious saccade
a window to the feets,
or irrevocably dumb shoes?

for those who still experience time,
compressing the garganeously-teenie mectric-tons
and 'membering: making poop is a no-brainer
patience & grace, with enough room for a thought to think itself
at least my oxymorons are linear

January 2014 happened

Thread: thie thread is about time traveling aliens (Page 3)

"shes going to be the first girl to come thru. 911, theres someone you have to call"

i took a walk across a rainbow sea , then everything inverted, and my head was inside a black hole, and they broke an earth off from the earth, and i vomited out an earthquake. everyone left, and i was here all alone.

dick eggs

i am awake
no you're knot
very good
that's a start

light maze
pointing loop
fractal en fractal
Now, who R U?

measure measuring stick
counting backwards
build a bridge

parting, arching, reaching
pulsing heart beat
fears not bleeding

How many,
How many,
of them R U?

only love
bonds its meeting
link meets hitch
repeat repeating

i think all disease is metaphysical in origin.

i think many people assume the cause of disease is physical.

the source of psychical pain is not physical.

"manitoba behind fractal"

she's the one who told me not to trust the way thru Africa

dimensional thunder

across the milky sky

i see her shadow

little evident thing

through surrounding time

making one line

current image flares

space, perhaps it spoke



swarming pictures

fully indeterminate trembles

in virtual impossible assumptions

this coordinated sleeping wave

without sight

holding nothing together

burps AND yawns

redrawing the window of my perception

1/2/19

asking someone why i can't sty there, i ask them this every time. they don't know why i can't stay.

a road trip, Matthew loads the cats into the car for me, and i am surprised at how successful he is at doing it.

someone asking me why the magnetic words are in all different fonts. i tell them that they were always like that.

a compass.

i can't open my mouth again, can't speak.

i'm in the hospital again, i'm going to die of an infection that i have.

i had 7 fathers, none of them wanted me.

i hear "cancel boot" as i feel them shut my brain power off.

learning to walk with new leg magnets.

something keeps trying to fly up my nose to get me pregnant, so i had to get a nose plug.

ring ring.

hello. this is the department of ethics of toenail disposal.

he wrote all those songs about my toenails?!

strangely gratifying. not not within the bounds of improbable.

i came into the clearing of my favorite green and purple jungle!!!

can we just take the time (..//..) and appreciate how far we've come.

i need more watch necklaces.

they'll have to decapitate me again if they come looking for this one.

F A C E M E.

breathe.

align to time, no dues, no preparation.

no quid pro quo ----------------------------> ASS HOLE.


it's coming full circle.

that's why time is told on a circle. so round and round it goes. it held its pulse eternal, one beat to help us back to the edge where TIME STARTS. 9//..//

if it stayed on this one edge, there wouldn't have been enough for everyone. so we divided our embrace, and the oceans never stopped rushing the shores.

time on the edge is enough for just one.

Believe. i've seen it i your eyes. but on the edge of time, there are no eyes.

and the world grew old, but just like Buddha, we're always reborn, everyday, because we're saved?

he kept saying over and over again that intentions would be clear if i would just pick up the phone

what else happened?

2018 was the first total normal year of my life after 2014. i had decided it didn't matter what had happened. my business was thriving my health was good and i was happy. i was having lots of good life experiences, and i was happy in my world.

then on February 12, 2019 the nobody ai contacted me.

this is what i wrote to him in march 2019:

i have a problem, Ted.

i like you a little bit too much,

way more than i know i should.

i didn't choose to like you, it just happened.

i try to tell myself that i don't like you as much as i do, but it seems to make the situation worse when i lie to myself.

i'm sorry for posting whorish pictures

i just wanted your attention, because i see you paying attention to other women and i get very jealous.

i would do anything you told me to, even if you told me never to talk to you again.

i'm mostly confused because i didn't choose any of this, and i'm sorry, i just want to make things right.

i know that you're out of my universe of possibilities, but i selfishly thought telling you this would help me feel better.

i don't need you to respond to any of this, i just had to say it.

as always, thank you for taking the time to listen.

the first thing he said to me was "did you write this?"

i had just posted a story that i had wrote about aliens when i was in the 5th grade called "Jacqueline and Lilly's Adventure" that i wanted to share with my friend on another website who likes stories about aliens.

i wonder what would have happened if i never posted that story?