Déjà vu

on January 7th of this year, i was not on any drugs, but i can make myself feel like ive taken drugs, without actually taking any drug.

i used my magnets to get a whole bunch of info, and i didnt record the info on pen and paper, i just swept the words up, and the universe quantum computer got really angry.

i had moved the bird cage back into my bedroom a week before because the living room is so cold. ty and albus were having a great time in my bedroom.

the magnets called ty "madre legendary" the time was 17:17::17 i was seeing all day how quickly a thought could become reality without any delay, i walked into the kitchen and had ONE SINGLE POWERFUL THOUGHT

it was "i'm going to step on ty and kill her"

immediately, i told myself to not think things like that, i told myself it was a stupid thought to have AND THAT IT WOULD NOT HAPPEN

i went back into the bedroom

ty has never been able to fly....

she must've just moved from where she was

i was looking up

and i stepped on her with my left foot

i didn't put all my weight down, but i felt her chest snap under the weight of my foot, her eyes looked down at her little chest, trying to comprehend, it took 30 minutes from that point to pass.

i kept telling myself that my thoughts were powerful enough that i could bring her back to life

she was suffering, i didnt know if i should help her pass, how much pain was she in? can i heal her? i held her in my hands, trying too heal her, saying her name over and over and over and over and over. she kept slipping in and out of consciousness, each time i said her name she perked up, and then each time slipped away a little further, until she totally went.

and that's how i killed Ty

and then the magnets said "justify back page"

the words fell on the page that i had previously been writing about how if words could make wishes come true

on that page i was writing about the dog days being over

the words could make wishes come true page has a tree, and a heart on half the tree, and it says sign of judgement, sometimes i write things, but i don't know what they mean

i got Ty in March 2014 at the start of all this because i was so depressed, and birds were always my first love, and i hadn't had a bird in years

i had a dream recently where someone was throwing magnets at me, and i'm exasperated, and i kindly ask them to please stop throwing magnets at me, because they stick all over me

abomination stun shield
overthrow p evil
cast push galaxy
boy bitter why
lone op cavalry
otherworldly of ring
s by like
ful many ask
velocity live life
these magnet space
a smith s
the gouge has
being rotten all
plasma as humanity
moan r s
there clone enforce
plain mysterious gnarled
glisten witch axe
at shadow crash
peel plague augment
legion they him
explore code have
doesn't but it
rift meat gaseous
seat vampire horse
not non door
battle what wen
decree valley hero
your planet power
market mini an
calculate you goblin
en company with
will what may
he rotting horrible
fusion infinite princess
as speed spectral
serve woman UFO

i do believe, that at the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own actions and our own turbulence. emotional and physical states are always being influenced by everything we interact with, human and non-human, living and non-living.

lot oppose has
gelatinous whisper wail
duty is port
tomb by but
ing laser jetpack
at plot pool
ed sample mask
there our tear
oozing the parallel
hidden helmet to
us too the
foul the jester
crown effulgent curse
servant innards assassin
catastrophe after queen

4/4/20-

a man wants to splice a cable into the waterfall place, but there's this magnetic thing at the bottom of the water. at the top, he hits his head and gets sent back down, someone has to reach her hand in to stop it for him

the first attempt of 2019 was .7 degrees off

the problem was that there was too much electricity stored in 7 minutes

why are children seemingly less effected by COVID-19?

we know that children are less likely to have a pre-existing health condition, but they also have a less developed immune system… children have a high amount of growth hormone, which stimulates T and B cells proliferation and immunoglobulin synthesis. this enhancement of the maturation of myeloid progenitor cells is also able to modulate cytokine response. DHEA is a youth hormone, as production peaks around age 20. DHEA enhances the ability of the body to fight off infections, and higher levels have been associated with reduced self-antigens.

DHEA protects the body from the effects of cortisol, and it produces insulin-like growth factor-1, which is a signal for human growth hormone, which is made by the pituitary gland. the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis plays a crucial role as it changes the host’s susceptibility to infectious diseases. it's direct and indirect feedback mechanisms regulate the bodies reactions to stress. in stressful conditions, such as during a robust proinflammatory response, the HPA axis may be triggered by high levels of proinflammatory cytokines. after the activation of the whole HPA neuroendocrine-pathway, glucocorticoids secreted by the adrenal glands are the final effector molecules that suppress violent inflammations and balance the immune response.

cortisol is the main glucocorticoid. one of the primary functions of cortisol is to help regulate blood sugar levels. cortisol helps the body adapt to stress and has anti-inflammatory properties, but an excess release of cortisol can also produce an immune imbalance. with these excessive or depleted levels of cortisol, blood sugar levels are not regulated, and reactive hypoglycemia then further stresses the adrenals.

the SNS is then activated in this threatening situation. high blood sugar unleashes destructive molecules that interfere with the body's natural control defenses. the spike binding site for COVID-19 is the cell-surface receptor, Glucose Regulated Protein 78 (GRP78), which acts as a molecular chaperone.

no, that's not how it went.

i think i got stuck on something.

my thoughts began to outpace what my hand can record

new strategy, BREATHE!

watching the minute hand go is child's play.

will and intention let the hours go.

once the vacuum has accrued a certain amount of momentum, there's no turning back.

i eats all their little digital digits and turn them back to the analog ones.

those new ways of counting, i saved them for a moment like this.

i can feel it a trillion miles an hour all around me, and i'm perfectly still at the center.

continuing to count.

somewhere along the line, yes, i remember, because, duh, i've done this before,

now all i need to do is not miss a step.



ring, Ring, RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




don't sit on the fence, pick up the phone.

was that you there, my clever?

intentions would be clear girl, if you'd just pick up the phone.

yes! i'm here, i just got dizzy watching the cycles do their rhyming Scholastic thing.

click.




chick-a-chick-a-chick-a-chick-a

did time ever outrun that black hole?

focus, we're right on the edge, yes the staircases, each case is a point of entry.

what is a purple pattern tard you ask?

ppt is still learning BASIC-LITE-ATMS.-H-

hasn't figured out how to hold the H ion.

success with most highly complex chemical equations, because it's just a whole bunch of letters, i won't even see the numbers, this will apparently continue on forever - CONGRATS!

reset button my ass, BITCH!

i hope you haven't been drawing on the walls again, i must be well mannered.

wait, all of a sudden it tells me to move. i open my eyes, and the music intrigues.

for PPT the down ladders go up, so the down ladders are the easy-peasy ones.

i'll have ladders everywhere, that way a fall is a climb.

please continue with the time stamps, we need documentation purposes of your eyeballs.

this is how eyeballs work, including the ones that are all over my hands.

this landscape is by your design.

that's why the void is quite dark of nothing, bc it's no-thing.

11/24/18

it means you believe, so don't stop.

it means you believe today, it means you believe in what you think. it means if i keep believing then it can be today, the day, the day, no harm will come to me. i believed in him today and forever. what did he mean by a hard four on a cold wind? he wants me to close my eyes. so i did, there was a beat somewhere of who i am. it was so close to the river. there were soft drums. i follow them along the river.

blue shakti is full of shit!

deeper inside there's nothing that i wouldn't do.

lover-r-u by my side now?

i should clarify, the call 911 incident was in 2012

Thread: The Lady you Meet on Salvia

one time, a whole universe was invented, because a little girl saw an animal that didn't actually exist

three days ago i saw the creature out on the trail

phase him and
all am hub
quick better hair
if maneuver rose
from away some
ability fold consume
your butt out
she super undo
am through do
never mead chant
visor with she
distort s ghoul

allow me to help you untangle this! lol

read the following backwards! lol

phase all
quick if
from ability your
she am never
visor distort

him am
better maneuver
away fold butt
super through mead with s

and
hub

hair rose some
consume out
undo
do
chant
she
distorts ghoul

tentacle magician r
viscous fast clash
can airlock massive
wish succubus his
technology p can
y with rain
are enormous void
scary how favor
field park mind
and destruction accelerate
arrow the atmosphere
them with if
he he tower
inter some chainmail
creep of champion
chemical said eat
play skin hack
those very batter
she me was
ware he if
forest rocket destroy
creature knife evolution

that's much more clear, thank you for debugging

how r u?

u r who? lol

my name is Heather

i have 2 cats and 3 birds

my cat Gaius died on March 4, 2020

my username here is Lies & Alibis

i have no idea how the internet works

don't know if i log into this thing or not

i consider myself a neo-luddite, i dislike technology

what even is the internet?

i don't even know what a cell phone is or how to use one

i found my cat Athena in a dream, and then she appeared in this world

she has "forever kitten" syndrome

she is 8, but can't grow up, she looks like she's 6 months old

if i dream about this tonight i'll let you know what the quantum spit out! lol

does the power source have to do with the parking lady that i think i have to go see everyday?

i get jealous very easily, just like my cat Ceres, we both have green eyes. my eyes used to be blue, but when i went thru puberty they turned green.

how are you today?

and now, i can't even dream anymore

a cell phone is a personal mobile communication device. it's called a smart phone by dumb people! lol

when i've struggled to find meaning in my life, i've focused on living for my dreams

so when my dreams are pathetic i get even more sad

if i can't dream, there's no point.

today you are who? lol

it's your mind trying to tell you something! it's probably for the best! lol