There are worst things than Death.
To see someone you love die before you,
And live on each moment
Considering what might have been,
The eternal 24 hours leading up to their birthday.
The times you wake up and then remember they are gone.
Countless anniversaries:
Not the ones you think I'm talking about,
But the little ones...the remembrance that a year has passed
Since the warmth of their hand was enfolded within yours
That 5 years have passed since that quiet Autumn night
When she placed her head on your shoulder for the first time.
That you imagine this year you might have seen the smallest crease
In the corner of her twinkling eyes.
The same ones that could merely narrow
And made you feel powerless to resist,
And powerful as a Man.
That you've calculated the minutes that you were with her,
And now she's been absent longer that that span of intimacy.
The nightly horror that there's a space next to you
And it won't ever be creased
By the gravity of her love.
That all of life is a ruin.
A wasteland
Shadows

There are people who worry about survival
And I'm trying to breathe again
Take...one...full...breath
That doesn't ache.
Forget for one full moment
That she's gone.
They complain about nonsense
The most miniscule minutia
While I would give all that I possess
For a moment when she was sleeping
To hear a singular soft sigh.
A fluttering of her eyelids.
The priceless treasure of my whispered name.
An instant of joy.
To see only the sunlight reflected in her tresses.
Or the wind to flicker across her hair
And make it dance.

All of the sunlight is eternally dimmed.
The cheerfulness of birds made somber and distant.
That life is a prison.
Eternal waiting
Waiting
Waiting some more.
Filling up time with activities
Distractions
So you can forget
Make it go away.
And it won't.