I miss you ____ you'd be 50 now if not for a drunk driver

I do too.

I don't know if you hear my thoughts,
Or are aware of the times I remember you.
Do you see the tears I shed?
The wetness on my pillow in the morning?
Does God make you forget the ones you left behind?
Would remembering us make you sad too,
And so are you shielded from sorrow?
Sometimes when I write you I feel closer.
Do you peer over my shoulder and see them?
Am I talking to no one?

Since all of this is an illusion
And these electronic symbols don't really exist,
And this virtual place is an idea and code,
And my body is composed of spinning particles
And my fingers: clouds of molecules
Typing upon wisps of plastic,metal, and electricity
Does any of this matter?

You were young when you died.
Now I am old.
Will you still know me?
I have changed.
Will you look like you did then?

Did we get it all wrong?
Is your soul reborn?
Are you here on the Earth again?
The baby...the inconsolable baby I hear crying?
The smiling cheerleader?
The friendly cashier who was so sincere ….
She didn't know me at all, did she?
Will you have made friends, lovers, a family now?

Somehow I think you're still alive.
That your energy could never be diminished.
It was irrepressible in life
How could it be now?
Is it wishful thinking?
Or absolute knowing?

Something mysterious survives beyond this world.

If it's eternally day
Where you are now,
In my eternal night
There's relief upon my brow.
The thought of you at peace,
On your face a smile serene,
Verdant meadows of perpetual green.
While below, my grief so intense
Smashed, crushed,
Smite
Rubble where once I was
No longer your defense
The long hard endless pause...
Will it ever cease?

Sometimes I hope you remember
me.
But not if it would bring you sorrow,
Not stir up that ember,
Not if even for a sliver of time.
All of these rhymes
Will suffice
My cascading tears...a sea
My heart caught in pulverizing vise.

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/16/2013 05:51 AM

Every time I compliment
The lonely last woman in a bar,
The elderly lady who hasn't been told
She's lovely in a decade,
The nervous but brave 7 year gymnast
Walking across the balance beam,
The waitress who's exhausted
(By leering buffoons and one more arched eyebrow)
But instead make sincere eye contact
And leave her a generous tip
For all the annoying raucous step-brothers
Seated near me in the restaurant,
Those are the compliments
That I would have given you
Through these elongated years.
Your sisters accept them instead
They're your surrogate recipients.

Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry for your loss. This is terribly heartbreaking. I wish I could think of words with more substance but I can't. My heart breaks for you.

You're a remarkable treasure, PENG. I hope eventually you will believe it. When you do, then you will find the One who's been searching for you.

And, my Dear, thank you for your sympathy. Some have made assumptions here, and tried to discern who "she" is. That doesn't mean they have figured out who "she" is.

There's nothing wrong with alcohol. Jesus' first miracle was to create more wine to keep a party going. Those wedding festivals in those days were often three day drunkeness and celebration. Ask a historian, not someone with an agenda. Despite that, drinking to excess and then driving makes no sense. Be responsibly. Take turns being the designated driver.

Last Edited by Don'tBeAfraid on 01/18/2013 08:13 PM

You're very kind. Honestly, the pain you described and the love you have for this person is heart wrenching. It's so sad what happened. One choice such as this one changes lives and it sucks. My heart breaks for anyone who has lost someone so important.

My Dear PENG, the heart of the matter, if we discern reality with our whole being (the soul), then we inevitably come to the conclusion that practically all souls are important. Even the worst troll on GLP has merit inside. To be able to discern that in others, that's the goal of being on the Earth. To discern that, you have to see that in yourself first. That often leads to a dialogue with them, and with the Mysterium Tremendum, what some weakly call God, but is magnificent and all-powerful, the Creator of Galaxies.

I understand how you are able to forgive this person. I am not as forgiving I'm sorry. This will always be my biggest flaw. I cannot imagine your loss, or others here. You seem at peace, but still so sad.