Here is one way to invite God to call you

I want to risk saying it aloud. You may feel silly. It's okay to feel silly. It's better than destroying your soul by repeating your sins and feeling torn to pieces. Your fear of God and your entire focus on self-loathing of your sins...it's killing you.

"I am a wicked person. I have done terrible things. I know I have. I want you to love me and forgive me. I know God that you're real. You are Ultimate Reality. You created me. You know me and you know my sin."

"Please forgive me. I want to know you. I want to have a relationship with you. Please call me and make yourself known and I will search for you."

"I will tell you my sins. I won't hide them. My sins are______"

Spend time telling God your sins. Try to say as many as you can think of. Don't be afraid.

God is waiting. Patiently waiting for YOU.