How Jesus Turned Water Into Wine and YOU Can Too!

.... you know, I was expecting a bullshit thread, but this might just reveal the source of a metaphor that most idiots are not aware is a metaphor in the first place.

Indeed. Jesus' first miracle was a parlor trick, most likely.

What may surprise you is that I've actually tried this trick. It was a hit. The water tasted like weak wine and it was a deep burgundy color. I used an old Spanish wine skin and not a jug. I would imagine that the results would be similar. The wine skin hadn't been used in 50 or more years. Still, the water tasted like wine.

Awwwww...you poor Christards...giving me 1 star...

What's wrong? Can't face an extremely simple explanantion for your beloved "miracle"?

Can't accept that there was a perfectly normal explanation?

+1

So why did they say the wine Jesus created was the of superior quality to what they had already been drinking? They may have been drunk, though I am pretty sure they were not that foolish.

I have not given it any rating, though I will say I used to believe Jesus was simply a clever trickster. Lol I now know that to be mans way of trying to deal with it.

drunk = "not that foolish"?????

NOT WHERE I'M FROM!

Perhaps by "superior", they meant it tasted more of grapes and LESS LIKE ALCOHOL.

Or, more likely, the story was embellished upon in later years when it was written. NO ONE WHO TRIED THE "WINE" WROTE ABOUT ITS FLAVOR.

You were conceived by a parlor trick!

Step 6: Smash the bottle over your own stupid head.

Step 7: Go fuck yourself

Sure I was. And you were too, fucktard.

In other words, "Duuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh"

Sure there is, it was a miracle. And it wasn't just 'wine flavored water' either. Read the story, it was wine of the highest quality.

Jhn 2:1 ¶ And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there:

Jhn 2:2 And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.

Jhn 2:3 And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.

Jhn 2:4 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.

Jhn 2:5 His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do [it].

Jhn 2:6 And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.

Jhn 2:7 Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.

Jhn 2:8 And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare [it].

Jhn 2:9 When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,

Jhn 2:10 And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: [but] thou hast kept the good wine until now.

An interesting perspective but there is a logical hole...

They mention filling stone water pots, not wine bottles or wine skins.

maybe he showed them fermentation? people were rather ignorant back then. nowadays also.

You mean porous, residue-trapping containers in a time when containers did double-duty?

If I were the Lord, I'd look for the "water pots" that were stained dark purple.

Also, no one who was there wrote about the "miracle".

It was later "believers" who did so. Where did they hear about it? From Jesus?

Right...

Wine of the highest quality...

Some of Jesus' finest words. I certainly agree. But have you ever thought that YOU might be the oinker? Of course not. Swine can't think.

The Israeli's called grape juice wine, I highly doubt it was alcoholic, people are more ignorant today then yesterday if they think they can emulate any miracle Christ did,

perhaps opie thinks he can raise the dead, walk on water, feed multitudes with one basket, cast out demons and with a word control the weather too :)

There was power in Christ's blood then and there still is today.

Blah, blah, blah...with a little girl pic.

Pretty much sums up christianity.

LOL

Was Jesus, and the Apostles, or whoever wrote that Gospel, trying to promote alcoholism?

Oh wow, you really opened my eyes I'm so done with this false religion now.

When I tended bar during grad school I used to water down drinks when I judged someone was suitably tipsy. When I closed up shop, I took home any difference in hard liquor. People who are just barely drunk usually give the best tips, anyway.

Only got in trouble for it once, and I bribed the guy off.

I don't claim that I can perform those other "miracles". BUT I DO, HOWEVER, CLAIM THAT I CAN RECONSTITUTE GRAPE JUICE. WHAT--YOU CAN'T?!

So you acknowledge the truth of His words and yet deny the truth of the miracle?

Please unpin this thread because of too much stupidity.

Actually please delete this thread..

"Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now." - John 2:10

What-- you can't see truth in SOME words or SOME miracles? It's all or nothing with you?

Well, I've got a proposition for you:

I'm a human being.

I've got ocean-front property in AZ to sell you.

WOW! A truth AND a lie??? Did your head just explode?

Stupidity? You mean simple everyday explanations?

Also, AC--when you get a paid membership, then maybe you can have some say about what gets pinned. Until then,