A Short Love Story...

I am writing this truth of my life for those here at GLP to read for their entertainment, but most importantly to show that despite all of the shallow and hollow tendencies in society today, there is still hope when it comes to love, chivalry and respect.

This story begins about 4 years ago. I was bouncing in and out of a dark place with drug addiction, and to be honest never held a relationship to save my life. I began, as most young guys, to get lonely, as I had no one of similar mind or interest to even talk to. I decided to look up familiar faces on myspace from the highschool I graduated.

As I did this, I stumbled upon a girl whom I admired heavily in highschool, but never had the courage to say anything to her. I said, TO HELL WITH THIS I'M GOING TO TALK TO HER. So I did, by adding her and then talking to her on a regular basis. On Halloween of 2009, she invited me to go out with her and her sister, and obviously I said yes.

The minute she picked me up from my house, there was an instant connection, (and for those asking why I didn't pick HER up, well she preferred it this way). The amount of energy circulating in the car was unbelievable, I felt like I got slammed into a wall of ecstasy.

We went to a few parties that night, and I ended up staying at her house. We kissed, but I refused to hook up with her, as I wanted to do this the right way. And for me the right way was getting to know someone and taking them on dates and what not. Not to mention she was extremely drunk so I felt that it was inappropriate to do so when one is that intoxicated.

The next morning we woke up, she was blown away with the fact I didn't attempt to make a move on her to sleep with her. And to be honest with all of you so was I. Why did I already care and respect this young woman so deeply? We had just met, but it felt like we've known each other for lifetimes. We hung out the ENTIRE day after that night, and talked and talked and talked. It was insane how comfortable I was with her.

We then hung out for literally almost a year straight, never hooked up, just kissed. At the time, she was going through a lot of shit in her life, and she spoke of not wanting to get into a relationship due to her "situations". I obliged out of respect for her, although later on I came to find that it wasn't what I thought.

After some time, things started to get weird, she would ignore me some nights when I tried to call or text her. She kept bringing up how we should just be friends, because she didn't want to hurt me and the usual story. Eventually I came to find that she had started dating another guy, without my knowing. I couldn't believe it..

This was the first time, I cold shouldered her and went my way. I was completely heartbroken. Shattered if you will. Once I got over my initial hatred, anger and grief, I realized that if I truly loved her then I would let her go, and if she came back then it was meant...

However that philosophy did not fit well back then. This same scenario repeated itself roughly 3 times over the course of 2 years. Some of you will say I am a sucker, and others I am sure will call me an idiot for sticking around for all that emotional and mental abuse. Keep in mind however, it took two to tango for us back then. I was still messing around with drugs on and off. I was partying all the time with little to no direction in my life.

I also had the shitty habit, of lying about extremely stupid things, such as when she'd ask me if I did this drug recently, I would say no even though the answer was yes. So our dance of devils continued from the day we met, for about 2 years, until we both went our separate ways for good.....

We had the worse falling out ever, my good friend was KIA'd in Afghanistan (he was 21), and both myself and this girl were going through very rough times with our own lives. Before I continue, I want it to be known that her family is twisted. Her mom is a drug addict/disassociative, her dad is too cowardly to do anything or stand up for her, and her sister is a borderline sociopath. Her brother however was a friend of mine too.

She battled continuous waves of depression and anxiety because of the environment she was living in, as well as dealing with me. It took me 6 months after we stopped talking (after that 2 year period), to realize all of that, and admit to my faults too. Amazing how the perspective changes when you step out of it for a bit huh?

Anyways...
For a while I tried to date other women, but none ever made me feel anywhere near what I had with her. I gave it my best shot for about a year until I gave up. And the reason I gave up was because of a revelation I had about my generation and the ones to come after me and those right before me.

I loved this girl to the point I was ready to be with her for the rest of my life. I've seen that type of love before around me with family or friends, and when that love gets torn apart by something, both sides or at least one continue their lives with bandaid relationships, from which they divorce or break up on a constant basis.

I came to the conclusion that this was NOT how I was going to live my life. I loved her, and if she is the only woman I will love, then that is so, and whether this is God's work, or a cosmic joke, didn't matter and I would stand by my conviction. This isn't to say that if an opportunity arose where I met someone who really grasped me, that I would pass it. Just emphasizing the extent of my emotion for this woman.

So about a year passes after we stopped talking, I decided to get sober, go to school, and move away. I am still sober (aside from alcohol on very rare occasions), I finished my Sound Engineering/Music Production schooling, and moved to Texas from Southern California. Doing so was extremely hard for me, as leaving SoCal, meant leaving her behind for good this time...or so I thought.

For that year and the next, there were times I prayed/meditated and sent love her way. Not for the hope of speaking to her again, but to just send her love. I will admit, that part of me wanted to see her or speak to her again, but I decided that it was not up to me, but up to her, as all the previous times it was me to reach out to her to talk and see each other again after the incidents I spoke of before.

She contacted me roughly 2 months ago, apologizing for all the shit she put me through, and I of course responded with my apologies. We got to talking again, and my life has been brighter than ever because of it. Even if we remain friends only, I am truly happy. And I do truly mean that.

I also got to see her in San Diego when I visited a couple weeks ago, and I hung out with only her, and I swear it is the same electric and vivifying energy as before. Except this time, I know it's different, and that this time, we are both better people.

I will be continuing to stand by her for the rest of my days, regardless of her and I being together or not. She is the most important person to me next to my little brother, and she was the women who opened up my detached, Aquarius heart.

So the moral of this story is this:

No matter what the world says about the other sex, or what others say what you should do in fucked up situations...

Follow YOU, YOUR heart, YOUR soul. I am not ashamed nor afraid to admit that I will forever love this girl, and will probably take that with me to my grave. Just because a vast majority of people have adapted to the shallow ways of modern dating, doesn't mean we can't change it for the better in the future.

So to those who are hopeless romantics like me, to those who are devoted to ONE person, and to those who have been through hell and back for someone, know that it is you who people should admire. I admire all of you for your dedication to your loved ones. And to those who have not yet found this for yourselves, DO NOT give up, they are out there, it just takes the right eye, and courage to see it.

Much Love, Peace and Blessings To all of you.

--LC






P.S I left a few things out of this story of course, as I wanted to keep it as short as possible.

And for those who are curious about anything, just ask.