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| 06:04 PM | ||
| Users Online Now: 1,778 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 949,812 | |
| Pageviews Today: 1,641,624 | Threads Today: 649 | Posts Today: 12,386 |
| 06:04 PM | ||
Why Does It Seem That Women Are Attracted To Bad Boys - Here's Why.... | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 44059159  United States07/26/2013 05:29 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Unfortunately bad boys use this to their advantage to take advantage of these woman emotionally and physically and treat them bad. The women not knowing what they did wrong, stay to correct whatever and make him happy...which never happens. Also..just as men enjoy the "chasing" part in a relationship, so do many women. They like a bit of a challenge too pursue also, than to one who's always drooling all over the place when they're around. So if you're a nice guy and like a woman...don't always be available. Be confident. Always be the first to end phone conversations and make it look like you have a life away from them..but don't try to make them jealous...just mysterious. Absence always makes the heart grow fonder. |
nightlight7
 User ID: 20322482 United States07/26/2013 05:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Another factor in the attraction is the "peacock effect" -- bad boy is strutting by signaling to the female: you see, I have myself stacked the odds against me and I am still here, doing fine. That's just like peacock showing off that he can grow huge tail which put him at disadvantage against predators, yet he is there proving his strength. The female is left to extrapolate how well he would do if he chose not to stack the odds against himself. Bad boy thus demonstrates how much spare strength and power he has, like a chess grandmaster giving a queen odds to a weaker chess player and still battling on equal terms. |
| Sharkspined
User ID: 44092080 United States07/26/2013 05:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | For me, personally, I never understood this concept, because I genuinely always have liked the nice guys and thought assholes were exactly that - assholes. sun - aquarius (7/8 house cusp) moon - virgo (3h) rising - cancer true node - pisces (9h) chiron - cancer (12h) |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 41320958 United States07/26/2013 05:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My boyfriend is a nice, sweet boy but he is also one of the strongest in our gym. Badness has nothing to do with the ability to protect. Quoting: FooledMeOnce I do agree that we dont consciously "choose" who we are attracted to, same concept that people don't choose to be gay or straight.  Never been interested in anything "gay" But been hearing what you're saying a lot now a days. You seriously don't think you have the power to make your own choices? My cousin thinks people are "born" gay...... WTF is wrong with peoples fucking logic. Likes yours :) |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 43123821 United States07/26/2013 05:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Another factor in the attraction is the "peacock effect" -- bad boy is strutting by signaling to the female: you see, I have myself stacked the odds against me and I am still here, doing fine. That's just like peacock showing off that he can grow huge tail which put him at disadvantage against predators, yet he is there proving his strength. The female is left to extrapolate how well he would do if he chose not to stack the odds against himself. Quoting: nightlight7 Bad boy thus demonstrates how much spare strength and power he has, like a chess grandmaster giving a queen odds to a weaker chess player and still battling on equal terms. Peacocking is relevant, but not an absolute necessary part of the formula for attraction. Other elements are far more important. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 27414114 United States07/26/2013 05:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Norse Viking
User ID: 43318178  Norway07/26/2013 05:32 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Wrong! They want fervently to be that special woman who did change that bad guy that no other woman could tame. It's not about him. It's all about her! Last Edited by Norse Viking on 07/26/2013 05:34 PM RIP. Berserk |
| hannah50
User ID: 38037980 United States07/26/2013 05:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | In my day dating musicians, artists, poets, photographers - was considered dating 'bad boys' because they didn't conform to the 9-5 work day in a button down suit. I ended up with a photographer/artist type (21 years now). And he's got a good deal of 'bad boy' in him (rebel type) - but he's also sensible, does his own laundry, cooks fantastically - and is oh so bad - where it counts. ;) If 'bad boy' here only means thug types, I can't relate. Never been drawn to jocks, body builders, gang dudes, or any other some such asshole with a chip on his shoulder about life or the women they hook up with. OK, *incoming memory blast* - I once had a fantasy about dating a mafia type dude. How stupid was I? I'd probably be dead or coke addicted and all used up spiritually. |
| Swag McGordy
User ID: 37484797 United States07/26/2013 05:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My brother once explained it to me like this: Women have an instinct to want to please their man. If a guy treats his girl like crap, she'll constantly try to please him and get his attention. However nice guys act like they are satisfied with their girl, and as such she'll get bored and leave him for a "thug". Most women I know, even the "nice" ones, are like this. Last Edited by Swag McGordy on 07/26/2013 05:33 PM " Almost all Southerners are part Indian, that is a fact, I do not know any one that isn't. So we call ourselves White, what's it to you what we call ourselves? I think all Whites that came here after the War Between the States should go back and reclaim their homelands from the invaders. Looks good to me." -Logic of a White Supremacist |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 41239039 United States07/26/2013 05:33 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 28611583 United States07/26/2013 05:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 39265195 United States07/26/2013 05:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My realization was that women don't choose who they feel attracted to. It's something that just happens -- an emotional response to certain things men say and do. Quoting: H0NEYBEE In other words, women don't choose to feel the emotion called "attraction" for jerks any more than you choose to feel the emotion called attraction for beautiful women. Sure, some women do feel attraction for extremely handsome men, but it's been proven that they feel a much stronger attraction to specific personality traits and behaviors than they do for physical looks. It's not that women are attracted to the abusive, mean, negative part of the "bad boy” personality. I think that these jerks just happen to also possess several associated, attractive qualities that are so powerful they literally make women blind to the abuse. Women rationalize away and excuse the abusive behavior because they want these other qualities so badly: unpredictability, uncontrollability, challenging dominance. When presented correctly, they trigger the natural attraction mechanism inside of women. And "bad boys" have taken these natural qualities that are so attractive to women and made an art out of them. Historically, men have protected women — physically and otherwise. Bad boys give the illusion of being able to protect women, while with nice guys, women aren't so sure. Life is about balance. Most men fall into either the bad boy or the nice guy category. The ideal man is neither, but walks that fine line between the two. Until men learn how to do this, more often than not, women will choose the bad boy, until they realize that his bad qualities outweigh his good ones.  Really interesting articles...take the time to read. Read more: Why Girls Like Bad Boys & More [link to www.askmen.com] 12 Reasons Women Don't Date Nice Guys [link to www.yourtango.com] Oklahoma mom tried to sell two kids on Facebook for $4,000 so she could pay boyfriend's bail Misty VanHorn, 22, is accused of offering up for sale online her two babies, one who is 2 years old and the other who is 10 months old. Read more: [link to www.nydailynews.com] One of my male friends had this to say on facebook: "Men need to stop being so freaking sweet!!! Girls say they like that crap, but they lie!!! There can be a sweet guy and a thug standing together. The sweet guy can have 5 degrees, be funny, have charisma, good looking and money. The thug is a loser with a prison record, has beat his last 5 girl friends and is a drug dealer - THUG WINS THE GIRL nine out of 10 times. SEEN IT!!! LIVED IT!! Girls like bad guys. GIRLS SUCK!!!!!"  Do songs like this and the media make this issue more of a problem? This sort of thread, with chicks hashing out the same damn obnoxious relationship drivel that is in EVERY issue of women's magazines, is the cellulite on the otherwise beautiful ass that is GLP. They why are you here Alice? |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 44066499 United States07/26/2013 05:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 43540947 United States07/26/2013 05:34 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 43123821 United States07/26/2013 05:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| m&m's
User ID: 28219729 United States07/26/2013 05:37 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| hannah50
User ID: 38037980 United States07/26/2013 05:39 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | You have something there NV - while I didn't want to change my man intrinsically, I DID want to make sure I was the one that *landed* him for life. The longest relationship he was in before me was 6 years. I remember having a burning desire to pass that mark in his relationship experiences. Which I did. But it had nothing to do with changing him. I just hoped I'd be the one he wanted to stay with. And I was. I WON! (a reoccurring joke on our anniversary every year).  |
| FooledMeOnce
User ID: 859301  Canada07/26/2013 05:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | My boyfriend is a nice, sweet boy but he is also one of the strongest in our gym. Badness has nothing to do with the ability to protect. Quoting: FooledMeOnce I do agree that we dont consciously "choose" who we are attracted to, same concept that people don't choose to be gay or straight. Never been interested in anything "gay" But been hearing what you're saying a lot now a days. You seriously don't think you have the power to make your own choices? My cousin thinks people are "born" gay...... WTF is wrong with peoples fucking logic. Likes yours :)Thanks for clarifying that you are not interested in anything "gay". You are correct that we can make our own choices, such as who we have sex with, male or female. My point is that you cannot chose which gender you desire, just as you cannot choose who you desire. I don't go out and tell myself, 'I'm going to develop feelings for that one!' Even if a person could change their preference, through therapy, brainwashing, whatever; why should they have to? How about, let's not highjack this thread any further with this bullshit. For someone who isn't interested in anything gay, you certainly are interested in discussing it.  :smokin1: |
| H0NEYBEE
(OP) User ID: 39160120 United States07/26/2013 05:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This sort of thread, with chicks hashing out the same damn obnoxious relationship drivel that is in EVERY issue of a magazine for women, is the cellulite on the otherwise beautiful ass that is GLP. Quoting: DrSalt Actually, this topic was brought up by men. A male provided me the articles because I didn't believe it. I stand corrected...making me even change my opinion on some things. Another male friend added some pointers. So..this is not about "chicks hashing out the same damn obnoxious relationship drivel." I am sure there are a lot of wonderful men on GLP who just might be dealing with this. And a lot of women, who might not understand why they are picking the same type man.  "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples." Mother Teresa America-We represent 5% of the world, yet we represent 25% of the incarcerated world. We are no longer the "land of the free" we are now the "largest prison nation in the world." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Martin Luther King,Jr. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 44096754  Brazil07/26/2013 05:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I've not heard that theory, why do you think it gives them a greater sense of satisfaction? Quoting: H0NEYBEE Because a woman is born with less physical integrity than a man, for obvious reasons. Her very biological constitution betrays her because it makes her prone to posession and violation (all sex is a little violent). So unless she has a very strong character, she cannot help but feel hatred for herself -> her body and her gender. Therefore, as a general rule a woman hates herself. by the principle of psychological projection (we project that which we find unnaceptable about ourselves), a woman is attracted to people that she perceive as weak or weaker than herself. With that said, Bad boys are famous for hiding an incredible low self-esteem (weakness) behind a barricade of bad attitude. and why does that bring her satisfaction? because psychological projection is a form of addiction. it relieves us from having to work on our issues by occupying our time and energy with other people's issues. See how the woman is always trying to "change" or "correct" the bad boy that she "loves". |
| Mr Mike User ID: 38651201 United States07/26/2013 06:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| H0NEYBEE
(OP) User ID: 39160120 United States07/26/2013 06:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Wow, another one of these posts.... Quoting: Henry 43540947 A lot of teenager - twenty something women go through that phase. Eventually most of them mature and decide they want some stability, and then they find real men. Most of the "bad boys" grow older and end up alone and can't figure out why. This bad boy grew up and am married for 9 years...  "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples." Mother Teresa America-We represent 5% of the world, yet we represent 25% of the incarcerated world. We are no longer the "land of the free" we are now the "largest prison nation in the world." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Martin Luther King,Jr. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 43264444 United States07/26/2013 06:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | what about girls with daddy issues and low self esteem? don't they say a lot of girls grow up to subconsoisely chose guys with some of the same traits as their father, either personality and behavior or looks? I don't know if that's true but ive seen it sometimes. girls who had no dad in their life growing up or their dad was abusive or didn't get along with them. those girls chose the wrong guys to date when theyre older. because they normalized bad behavior so theyre more accepting of the troubled guys or ones who are abusive that's why girls shouldn't get married young or in their 20s they don't know what type of guy to look for. women in their 20s are attracted to weird guys and they don't know why. its like shopping you like what looks pretty on the shelf and what your friends want to buy. but you don't look for whats practical. |
| Sungaze_At_Dawn
User ID: 35202296 Canada07/26/2013 06:05 PM  Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It was hard to vote, the yes I gave is not really quite a yes, for there may be more actually who do not. I think its almost 50/50. And no, you sweetheart guys, don't change, many girls notice. What happens is that people record their entire childhood and those parents, or parenting influences, even blends of them, that were the most difficult, that blocked their wholeness even, or what skills they could develop, their hardest experiences, will be reflected in who they are attracted to. Its called imago relationship theory and it is quite accurate, and about 80% of relationships are imago ones. That means, you are set up for a battle from the offset, for its a wounded ego attempting to heal by forcing those who hurt them to treat them nicely. Trouble is, both sides are doing the imago thing. So, you respond on auto pilot, with buttons that push straight to childhood. If the people are not dangerous psychopaths, then they could become healing partners for each other in the end. The Devil tries to convince everyone he doesn't exist. The state tries to convince everyone they cannot resist. Do not go quietly into the good night. Rage Rage against the dying light! |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 41239039 United States07/26/2013 06:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | This sort of thread, with chicks hashing out the same damn obnoxious relationship drivel that is in EVERY issue of a magazine for women, is the cellulite on the otherwise beautiful ass that is GLP. Quoting: DrSalt Actually, this topic was brought up by men. A male provided me the articles because I didn't believe it. [These men did not create the thread. You did, missy.] I stand corrected...making me even change my opinion on some things. Another male friend added some pointers. So..this is not about "chicks hashing out the same damn obnoxious relationship drivel." [That's precisely what's taking shape here.] I am sure [You are certain.] there are a lot of wonderful men on GLP who just might [You are uncertain.] be dealing with this. And a lot of women, who might not [You are uncertain.] understand why they are picking the same type man. [Inappropriate for a forum devoted to UFOs, conspiracy theorists, and lunatic fringe.] |
| K User ID: 40337870 United States07/26/2013 06:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I think that "bad boys" have a persona of taking care of business and nice boys seem like they are often more passive. I think that the wires get confused here and emotions lie to us. The bad boy in not necessarily going to be protective and take care; however, he feels like he would take the risks in life and therefore by a protective male figure. So, women go toward that as an emotional response. Good boys feel like they would not step up to the plate in case of trouble. In reality, they are more secure and probably a lot more ready to care for the appropriate needs for a stable relationship. However, blind emotions react and we all have a need to feel protection and help in this big old world. It's all an unrealized emotion response, not reality. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 25699776 United States07/26/2013 06:17 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| JBG User ID: 44097565  United Kingdom07/26/2013 06:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | The REAL crux of this is that the 'human' conglomerate operates in multiple separate but inter-nested worlds, each with their own rules and currencies. Biological, social, intellectual...............and others. Biology is your genes, they have been around for billions of yrs and only care about replicating - as far as they are concerned you, your multicellular body is just a recent innovation, just a useful appendage they have devised to help them replicate more effectively. A further innovation and management tool of the multicellular body is the social world of emotions, signals, 'languages, rituals - evolved to regulate the primary biological drives. Intellect is just a ultra recent flash in the pan that biology hasn't even noticed yet. So....when biology (female) decides it want to find some quality genes.....it looks for signals of quality that are hard to fake or mimic - that is why bad boys biology is making them act the way they do - reckless behaviour, fighting, dominance displays etc etc. Next biology may decide to switch off the pesky social self which has it's own rules about respectable partners - it will flood your system with hormones endorphins to over-ride the social self - it will even resort to your craving alcohol to knock out the higher brain centres. |
| H0NEYBEE
(OP) User ID: 39160120 United States07/26/2013 06:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | what about girls with daddy issues and low self esteem? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43264444 don't they say a lot of girls grow up to subconsoisely chose guys with some of the same traits as their father, either personality and behavior or looks? I don't know if that's true but ive seen it sometimes. girls who had no dad in their life growing up or their dad was abusive or didn't get along with them. those girls chose the wrong guys to date when theyre older. because they normalized bad behavior so theyre more accepting of the troubled guys or ones who are abusive that's why girls shouldn't get married young or in their 20s they don't know what type of guy to look for. women in their 20s are attracted to weird guys and they don't know why. its like shopping you like what looks pretty on the shelf and what your friends want to buy. but you don't look for whats practical. If a woman has gone through those kind of issues growing up with her father, then usually she picks men where she is trying to "fix her past." Some how rationalizing that it will make sense of all what happened. If she couldn't "fix" it as a child, she can "fix" it now as an adult. Thinking she is in control. "I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples." Mother Teresa America-We represent 5% of the world, yet we represent 25% of the incarcerated world. We are no longer the "land of the free" we are now the "largest prison nation in the world." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Martin Luther King,Jr. |
| Epic Beard Guy
User ID: 26240425 United States07/26/2013 06:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Women are always looking for a project. They want a man they can mold into the man of their dreams. They seem to think the nice guys are too boring. The bad boys are more fun, but they want to change them. When I met my wife, the first thing I told her is "If you like me as I am, lets go, but I'm not going to change". It worked out. My first wife told me she wanted a divorce because "You haven't changed". I told her "No shit, you knew who I was when we met". If you want a project, please buy an old car. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe |
