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Maybe God Loves Atheists After All

 
just an old goat
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User ID: 45403423
United States
09/12/2013 02:57 PM
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Maybe God Loves Atheists After All
Once a upon a time, Socrates read in the newspaper “Athens we have a problem” when some dumb schmuck Jew shouted, “King Neptune is no god - only Yahweh is the true God!” So he said to himself, “Is it time to drink a cup of Hemlock? Nah, I will just call my good friend Plato and go for coffee.”

A few years later Rabbi Rothschild read in the newspaper, “Jerusalem we have a problem” when some dumb schmuck of a Jew turned over the money tables in a synagogue and yelled out “I am God.” WOW, that was a hangable offense worse than yelling FIRE!.... Well at first he thought this might be bad for business, but nah, he just called his friend Rabbi Goldman and said, “ Lets go get coffee and figure out how we can make even more money off these stupid-as-rocks Christians.”

A few years later the POPE was reading the newspaper. The headlines yelled out “Rome, we have a problem!” As it turned out, some dumb schmuck named Luther nailed some graffiti up on one of his big cathedral doors claiming, “Your God’s rules and regulations are FALSE!!!” The Pope immediately yelled, “Quick, put on a pot of coffee because it’s going to get really
crazy because there is only one true church.”

Many years later, an Episcopalian bishop reading the paper saw, “Pennsylvania, we have a problem,” when some dumb schmuck Joseph Smith and his friend Brigham Young started to have lots of young wives in Utah. Whoa--you guessed it--time for coffee.

And then, just a few years later, a Southern Baptist was reading the paper and really HUGE HEADLINES read “Houston, we have a problem” when some wise Argentinian pope yells out EVEN ATHEISTS CAN GO TO HEAVEN!

[link to www.google.com (secure)]

Good grief Charlie Brown, what next you ask?

MORAL OF THE STORY -- SOONER OR LATER ALL DOGMA ALWAYS ENDS UP IN THE DOG HOUSE!

SO REMEMBER - LETS NOT HAVE A TIZZY OF TRIBULATION OVER END TIMES, LET’S JUST GO GET SOME COFFEE.

sockpuppet

A campfire tall tale written by a friendly lunatic schmuck

Old Goat
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3219786
United States
09/12/2013 02:59 PM
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Re: Maybe God Loves Atheists After All
Well, He did die for them.
He won't force them to love him. This is why it's a choice.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25549556
Canada
09/12/2013 05:52 PM
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Re: Maybe God Loves Atheists After All
the "Boss" has a purpose for all.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 37911089
United States
09/27/2013 07:17 AM
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Re: Maybe God Loves Atheists After All
RELIGION = FUCKERY.

Just be compasionate, with tough love when needed.
Be Generous, but be wise enough to not be taken advantage of.
Give a flawed person a chance, but don't be fooled twice.
Don't expect you or others to be perfect, but never loose sight of perfection.

We need less religion in the world, and more humanity.

Peace my friends.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47506151
Australia
09/27/2013 07:37 AM
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Re: Maybe God Loves Atheists After All
Well, He did die for them.
He won't force them to love him. This is why it's a choice.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3219786


Some "Choice"

"Listen people..I had myself tortured to death so I would not have to torture you forver in this wonderful dungeon that I went to a lot of trouble to create for you to be as agonising as possible. So if you dont love me for killing myself I will have you tortured there forever with no mercy..but really..no pressure..I love you"

Thats just insane.





GLP