Godlike Productions - Discussion Forum
Users Online Now: 2,285 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 690,818
Pageviews Today: 1,211,522Threads Today: 516Posts Today: 8,677
02:24 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more

 
Ancient
User ID: 29167088
United States
10/21/2013 02:50 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.


Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no,




I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22470569
United States
10/21/2013 02:54 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.


Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no,




I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
 Quoting: Ancient 29167088


cruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21681222
United States
10/21/2013 03:01 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
That's funny! I got to try that one sometime.
War Pigs
User ID: 45966873
United States
10/21/2013 03:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
You old fart!

cruisecruisecruisebeavis
<Path>

User ID: 44027115
United States
10/21/2013 03:04 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Get out of my yard!
The dreamer and the dream
One awakens inside the other
Rediscovering universal truths
Lady Jane SmithModerator
Forum Administrator

User ID: 1332342
Netherlands
10/21/2013 03:06 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
ROFL Froggie
Fate whispers to the warrior

"You cannot withstand the storm"

the warrior whispers back

"I am the storm"

INTJ-A

Killer Bunny
OptimusPrime

User ID: 8625162
United States
10/21/2013 03:09 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
old joke is old. You didnt build that.
Mukk1234

User ID: 40837657
United States
10/21/2013 03:10 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
:doggyie:
Squonk1960

User ID: 3530244
United States
10/21/2013 06:47 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Dude -- why not (if you were playing) wait till she came out the door, and then rip open the bag in front of her and act as if you ate a few morsels, then run over to her and stick your nose in her ass? Now that may get you expelled from Costco,s226

Last Edited by Squonk on 10/21/2013 06:56 PM
Nous sommes du soleil. -- We are of the sun.
davvi

User ID: 3677166
United States
10/21/2013 06:51 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Good one...

slols
scottfree

User ID: 48706787
United States
10/21/2013 06:54 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
cruise
J 17:15: "I pray not that Thou shouldst take them out of the world, but that Thou shouldst keep them from the evil.

Truth, beauty and virtue ... all the things that THEY hate. All the things God loves.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22074658
United States
10/21/2013 06:56 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
That's why I prefer Sam's Club. They don't waste time chitchatting and holding up the checkout line with useless banter and personal questions.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34064655
United States
10/21/2013 06:58 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Why were you kicked out of Costco? I'm not sure how any of what you said could even be construed as offensive. Good luck on the diet though.
Marilllon

User ID: 13175518
China
10/21/2013 07:01 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
I would not give my dog purina food. Please do a search on internet what bad stuff is in it and all the food recalls .
mrmuffins69

User ID: 39656249
United States
10/21/2013 07:04 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
legend
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40514240
United States
10/21/2013 07:11 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Hey hey Johnny Knoxville is that you? Trying to promote your new movie on GLP about a old man punking people.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47409575
United States
10/21/2013 07:21 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
lolsign
beeches

User ID: 28167778
United States
10/21/2013 07:38 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
I would not give my dog purina food. Please do a search on internet what bad stuff is in it and all the food recalls .
 Quoting: Marilllon


beautiful dog there!
Liberalism is totalitarianism with a human face – Thomas Sowell
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2268641
Canada
10/21/2013 07:43 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
That old story has been kicking around for over two years, but it is funny and very tempting to try on some dunderhead behind you in line.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9822054
United States
10/21/2013 08:02 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
OP
are you Irish ?
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 29167088
United States
10/25/2013 07:48 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
flag waver
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 66112536
United States
12/16/2014 06:54 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.


Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no,




I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
 Quoting: Ancient 29167088


cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22470569


Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.


Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no,




I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
 Quoting: Ancient 29167088


cruise
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22470569
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 59376709
United States
12/16/2014 08:56 AM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
hhahahahahaha!

bump

5a
beeches

User ID: 78973486
United States
10/04/2020 04:26 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
was expecting a different thread!

even though i was on it way back then.
Liberalism is totalitarianism with a human face – Thomas Sowell
the deplorable ar-15 nut

User ID: 78054348
United States
10/04/2020 04:30 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
awww
We are a REPUBLIC.If we can keep it MORAN!
A pissed off American Veteran!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79312463
United States
10/04/2020 04:36 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
i'm gonna super glue ur old nuts so they hang less
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 79340274
United States
10/04/2020 04:41 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.


Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no,




I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
 Quoting: Ancient 29167088



marvelous-bc
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78310900
United States
10/04/2020 04:59 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
LOL!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78340688
United States
10/04/2020 05:05 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
cruise

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 78998868
United States
10/04/2020 08:30 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more


1. SHE WAS HITTING ON YOU!



2. SOUNDS like it is time to raise the retirement age to 90.

Can't have these people fucking with stupid libs.


Anonymous Coward
User ID: 75708546
United States
10/04/2020 08:43 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: A Retiree's Last Trip To Costco .. They won't let me shop there any more
lolsign





GLP