Seriously? Uhmm.. must be my twisted mind, but for safety reasons I am wearing a jock strap today. I refuse to be kicked in the nuts by some old lady with a walking cane.

I helped an elderly woman across the street the other day and as a reward she attacked me with pepper spray. Turned out that she didn't even want to cross the street..

I could of course be reading this wrong, but better be safe than sorry.