anyone else have a hard time being happy for someone getting married knowing they're marrying the state?

Let your friend be happy. Envy is such a terrible thing. Let it go.

I'm not envious, I just get frustrated seeing someone do something she does NOT need to do.

i agree I do not need the state to validate my love for another person and understand fully where your coming from and see there is no envy or jealousy either sheep will be sheep after all ;D

That piece of paper offers many legal protections for both husband and wife. When it comes to property or making health decisions in the hospital. Like it or not but that piece of paper is pretty damn important in the real world.

Correction, in the government's world, it wouldn't mean shit for mine. If I get married, I refuse to do it by the state, fuck them. I do not want or need them in my relationship or having a say over my kids if I have any. That's the rub....you give up rights the moment you register for this.

And most importantly it seals a union between man and woman (not fag and fag, IMHO) that allows for the healthy rearing of children.

Children are protected by marriage.

That is the real world. I am sorry if you don't like it but that's the way it is. If you choose to get married without making it legal and then your boyfriend dies in a freak accident where will that leave you?? Remember wills can be contested by family members and strung out for years without you seeing anything. Now you loose the house, insurance policy , rights to control the funeral etc. A legal marriage cannot be contested. It is the ultimate form of protection a couple can have.

Correct. Look I hate the government as much as the next person but marriage is important. It's easy to say it's just a piece of paper but logically speaking it is much more than that.

Says who? You?

Let her life her life. Just because you don't believe in marriage doesn't mean she has to think the same.

You sound envious if you are female. If make, you're probably upset that she is officially off the market.

Live and let live. It is honorable to be a good wife. Marriage is honored and taken seriously by some.

*male, not make

This

Yes it is, it's a way for government to get their claws into your relationship.

But I guess I'm wasting my breath here.......lot of you are sheep too apparently......all too willing to give the state a say so in your own relationships......sad

Last Edited by ajk on 01/04/2014 07:08 PM

You can be married WITHOUT the goddamned piece of paper, that's my point. It is NOT NECESSARY I don't give a damn what the state says. And I am a man btw.....I could care less if she's off the market or not, not into her like that, I just hate seeing her jump through a hoop that is not needed to be jumped through.

It's clear I'm wasting my time on you people though, evidently you'd rather stay dumb than let yourselves be educated......so be it. I'm done.

:gaythread2:

Of course you don't have to do it with the state. We are all aware of that. However, the benefits of her jumping through the hoop are real. Do you not understand why most reasonable people that plan to have a family and property would want to get married?

They are not asking the state for permission, they are telling the state. Do you honestly believe that you gain nothing with a marriage certificate? You say you don't give a damn what the state says but I am betting you would sing a different tune in many scenarios.

You're an idiot.

Of course most of us are awake.

You fail to see the upside to marriage and the happiness that comes with being legally married. No you choose to only see the potential bad. Only jaded divorcees would bash marriage. That's why you created this thread, to bash marriage and the security it provides for a couple. Yes, its a piece of paper, but it is also a very meaningful piece of paper.

Not a divorced person, and as long as you're supporting a system wherein you allow the state to make you get a license to marry (and you ARE giving them the control over you, because they can deny you if they so choose as much as accept) you're not as awake as you think. You're in denial.

Sorry I bothered speaking truth, it's clear you people aren't ready for it. Think what you want, peace.

Last Edited by ajk on 01/04/2014 07:22 PM

I see that you're still a pathetic douchebag, ajk. One star.

Seeing that men only want one thing with 'women' friends, its clear why op is pissed off.... she's getting MARRIED.... I am sure any man that gives this much of a fuck about what some female friend is doing is upset for more reasons than op is telling us.

Human nature is funny to watch.

I am sorry but you come across as very uneducated to the risks you would be taking by choosing not to get married. I understand that some people understand the risks and then make the choice to still not get married and that's fine. At least they understand what they are getting into.

I don't think you get it though and that's bothering me.

[link to www.marriageequality.org]

In times of crisis, spouses have hospital visitation rights and can make medical decisions in event of illness or disability of their spouse.

Employers offer spouses sick leave, bereavement leave, access to health insurance and pension

The law provides certain automatic rights to a person's spouse regardless of whether or not a will exists.

Married couples in elderly care facilities are generally not separated unless one spouse's health dictates hospitalization or special care.

The dissolution of a marriage requires a determination of property distribution, award of child custody and support and spousal support. Absent divorce, there is no uniform system for sorting out the ending of a relationship.

Married couples are permitted to give an unlimited amount of gifts to each other without being taxed.

The law presumes that a married couple with both names on the title to their home owns the property as "tenants by the entirety."

A married couple, by statute, has creditor protection of their marital home.

Many married people are entitled to financial benefits relating to their spouses, such as disability, pension and social security benefits.

With marriage, a couple has the right to be treated as an economic unit and to file joint tax returns (and pay the marriage penalty), and obtain joint health, home and auto insurance policies.

When a spouse dies, there is no need to prove ownership of every item in the household for taxable purposes.

I love it when people argue over what it means to be awake, lol.

You're funny.

I have a friend who has lived with a guy like op for over 20 years. The guy refuses to marry her. She is miserable getting old and not being married. Its sad. She provides all the benefits of a wife, keeping a nice home, works full time. Is a step mom to his kids and yet he has no fucking nads to marry her because he claims his first marriage was a disaster. I'd leave him if I were her, but I keep my mouth shut. She got a shit deal.

Op, spend less time worrying about what other people do. Don't begrudge your friend her happiness. The government has corrupted and devalued many of our institutions, but we should restore them, not abandon them.

I would not accept that either. I did not want a wedding so we just went to the court house and then took a little vacation. I wanted the protection for me and my future child.

Wise words.

Wise words.

Exactly. When people are not legally married, they walk away at the first little gust of wind in the relationship.
Originally, physical consummation was marriage, but human nature is so evil and fickle that there needs to be a legal committment.
Admittedly, it doesn't seem to matter much anymore, since most people do not stay married nor faithful.
Marriage just does not work without a legal committment between caring, responsible, dependable, giving man and wife. Difficult to do---rare these days.

She must be a pathetic person with low self esteem. What a miserable life.

This is not really your problem. Smile, be happy for her. Wish her the best. Don't worry about the contract, it's not on you.

I wouldn't call her pathetic, just too trusting and she lives the guy. Sadly, as they grow old together, they seem to be having more problems. She always thought he would marry her. He basically feels like the op. Its a great situation for him, she cooks , cleans, works, etc and he grfsvto act like a single man when they hit a rough spot. I feel bad for her only because she wasted the best years of her life making him sandwiches, but she's apparently not worthy enough to be his lawfully wedded wife.