"C'mon son, if your going to patronize me at least put your fucking back into it. You don't have any respect for the Hoff, am i right?
You think i never held a knife, and that i am unfamiliar with the taste of blood? That i took a shitty sub-par show about lifeguards and turned it into the highest rated, syndicated hit in television history because i got fucking lucky?
I once forcibly sodomized a Viet-Cong Colonel with a stick grenade because he placed an ancestral curse on me when i was interrogating him, and i don't even believe in ancestral curses but that's how deep i fucking roll... The Hoff - Stretch (2014)