I've made a decision that is going to change my life and I hope the lives of others! I'll need all the strength I can muster.

You really seem to understand and and I deeply appreciate it!!! Even though something occurred today that I could easily have backslided but I closed myself in my room instead. Though we are separated my wife brought my son over to visit for a couple of hours and he fully knows why I am putting myself through this but when sh came to pick him up and after I god hugs and kisses from my kids, she just reached over and gave me one of those weak slimy handshakes, ya know the kind ya get from someone ya meet who you would rather not!!! and you want to go wash your hands that's what I got. My daughter gave her a look that would kill it just hurt my feelings a bit and even though I am trying my best, that's all she could must I am trying not to think to much into it but in my fragile state of mind on thee family side i need a little more support than rejection.

GG, don't ever expect people who have not been there to understand at all.

Besides, you probably look like you are pretty danged sick, what with the runny nose, watery eyes, and dehydration. People naturally -- instinctively -- pull back from anyone exhitting flu symptoms. Human nature.

AND in your state of mind, you are bound to be picking up on the least trace of vibes that make you feel crummy about yourself.

In fact, I bet you are feeling a lot of self-directed anger now.

Remember: Guilt is a productive, healthy emotion. You, or someone, has done something wrong, regrets it, and feels bad over it.

Shame, however, is a condition of being. It is not productive or healthy.

It is reasonable to feel quite a bit of guilt over stupid addict behaviour you have done. So do I. But I know I did it.

And it has receded into my past so far -- and has been outweighed and diluted so much -- that I can put it into perspective as part (and only part!) of an overall good life.

Just put all that crap on a shelf, and bookmark it for later review!!!

Emphasis on LATER review.

Right now you are sick. Just plain sick. Why you are sick doesn't matter all that much any more. Could be the flu. Could be withdrawals. Just it straight in your mind that you are recovering!!! and soon will not be sick any longer.

Bear in mind that your mind is a sort of magnifying lense at the moment, focusing on bad, crummy, self-hating things. Admit to yourself that your perspective is screwed up and unrealistic. Admit to yourself that ONE DAY you will be putting this ALL into PERSPECTIVE as an interlude in life.

Okay, you feel like crap. That's part of the deal.

And that is why -- although we may be members of the world's most exclusive club, with the world's highest dues -- nobody ever, ever wants to join our club.

You're just paying your dues.

And you do get to come out on the other side. And play with the cool kids.

Thanks much again friend I'm going to try and lay down again see ya tomorrow
Much Peace and Love
Guitsrguy55

Cannabis is highly effective for the insomnia. Withdrawal from many, many different drugs causes insomnia- its not a subconscious desire to do anything. Stopping Benadryl causes insomnia, for example.

Well Guitar Guy, I was in a project today and did not drop in. I hope you are doing better today, and that you sleep well tonight.

Read spiritual stuff, listen to calming music, hot baths, wholesome foods, and keep your electrolytes in balance.... you know the drill. B Vitamins are essential for rebuilding and maintaining your nervous system, if nobody has mentioned that. Niacin is good, but it causes a flush, like prickly sunburn. You can take it in small pieces of a tablet over a period rather that in one piece.

We're still praying for you....

Hope all is well.

Have not heard back for a couple of days...

Hummm...not good??

Come check in with us, GG

... even if you've taken a bad turn... You're not alone.

There will be days when you have managed pain away but your mood will be indicating that you are indeed suffering. Be aware and try to avoid overdoing it so you can stay balanced.