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| 01:24 PM | ||
| Users Online Now: 1,771 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 779,217 | |
| Pageviews Today: 1,264,526 | Threads Today: 508 | Posts Today: 7,713 |
| 01:24 PM | ||
help me out GLP - give me your honest opinion about this family squabble | |
Mr. Toppit
 User ID: 59342524  United States08/30/2014 11:39 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Baffled there are 6 pages to an incident without enough information to pass any sort of judgement. You guys hear a very one sided story with very little info to what started the whole thing and you base your judgment off an email reply....you do not know this ladies sister enough to say she is a bitch,cunt or whatever other words I read. Grow up. Quoting: JinxyKinxy Your just being paranoid. Reading to much into the situation. Grow up. All the lines a psychopath will use to disguise himself and his intentions. LOL Or you know, this simple word we call logic. Let's all get on the same page. You agree with me and we'll call it logic. |
| stay at home
User ID: 35153253  Germany08/30/2014 11:41 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Family sometimes feels that because they are close they are entitled to disrespect and be allowed to without any hard feelings about it. not so..... I would not ever let anyone ( i dont care who it is) hurt my kids in any kind of way. It doesnt matter if to them its no big deal that hes hurting about the loss of a friend. Its hurting your son and that matters. The letter your husband wrote was unnecessary and especially the way he ended it by throwing in some religious words... Thats not going to make your sister feel bad about whats just happened.  I would have been straight foward and told her that she needs to back the hell away from my son. I would not call her and apolojise or try to make things better. Youll probably make things worse. Just let it go and intime you both will forget about it.stay at home |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 57641770 United States08/30/2014 11:44 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Baffled there are 6 pages to an incident without enough information to pass any sort of judgement. You guys hear a very one sided story with very little info to what started the whole thing and you base your judgment off an email reply....you do not know this ladies sister enough to say she is a bitch,cunt or whatever other words I read. Grow up. Quoting: JinxyKinxy Your just being paranoid. Reading to much into the situation. Grow up. All the lines a psychopath will use to disguise himself and his intentions. LOL Or you know, this simple word we call logic. I usually dont post on any thread unless there is a complete synopsis of both side of every situation, if every angle has been fully fleshed out, and if I feel like I have enough information to make an informed decision. Oh wait this is GLP. I comment on a ton of stuff here without all that because it is a frickin public forum. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 5986261 United States08/30/2014 11:48 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I have particularly shitty siblings, so I empathize. Quoting: SewDucky Your husband should have stayed out of it. Yes, I understand where he was coming from, but in the end it's your shitty sister, not his. Looking at the whole thread, the issues boil down to your sister and you, not abut your son. Granted, her daughter may have picked on your kids, but that stems from how your sister treats you. I also think the second email is more fuel for the fire. She is going to use that against you in ways you don't even see yet, and it will come back and bite you in the ass. What I see in this whole thing is you also need to be "right". You're escalating this as much as she is. Cutting her out is really something you have to decide. You'll hit a point you're apathetic, rather then hurt, and it'll be a natural extension. I think you're both wrong, and you're both sort of crazy in this. I also think your family is one that thrives of drama, and this will blow over and you and your sister will be back to normal. Interesting... maybe it was, good enough just to write it and I don't have to send it. I don't want to escalate it. I disagree with you i need to be right but maybe you see what i cannot hence the value of the thread. You're right - my family of origin is drama. My current one is totally different. Maybe it's still defined as drama but not like that... PLEASE STOP TALKING OR WRITING HER OR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS ABOUT THIS INCIDENT RIGHT NOW!!! Go ahead and write it though, write - write - write - and then you know what burn it up. Write the longest journal out about the whole relationship and make a list of everybull shit thing she ever did. Have a nice glass of wine and on a beautiful evening you BURN THAT SHIT UP. BURN IT Now - you need therapy honey. I am sorry but you do. About the abuse and this situation because you have no concept of boundaries and enmeshment and dealing with abusive possibly personality disordered individuals. You need some help. Not long term, ok not years and years maybe just a few sessions - let the therapist talk more than you - you need to learn what you are dealing with so you can understand why you need to quit engaging. BOOKS there are whole sections of bookstores devoted to this stuff. You need to look into codependent/narcissistic/abusive relationship titles ect. But mostly honey you need to pull back into you - as one poster said you need to build an individual identity for yourself and your own nuclear family and you need some time/self care and Love to get to a place where you are more settled and confident in yourself. You are here because your situation and background made your confidence in your own will shaky. You need to stop engaging this situation. You need to learn better skills, you have children that are counting on you and Husband who is trying to break free and live differently than his own difficult background. You two need to put all that Love and hope into your own created family and cut loose the ties and responsibilities and unhealthy enmeshment you got going on with your family of origin. I am not saying you need to get rid of them but Honey you need boundaries. I read this little method once and it helped me. Envision a stage. You are alone in the audience. Bring in each family member, each destructive individual, etc. Bring them out on the stage - under the lights, let them have the stage - let them perform what ever your mind sees they need, maybe your sister needs to win the contest - so crown her - let them act it all out up there, all their crazy till they are spend and worn. Yell at them and make them sit in a chair onstage and hear it all too - just get creative - this daydream can turn in to some real fun - and after they have had their time on stage - dismiss them with Love, that's right picture them in Love - and send them away, next actor in!!! Remember also as fucked up as she is - and she may never get better - she operates from her hard drive from a place of hurt and damage of her own due to the abuse perpetuated on her when she was still not grown. I wish you the best of luck OP. Try your hardest to leave this alone - and use that energy to learn more about boundaries and self care. |
| Anonymous Coward User ID: 42118633 United States08/30/2014 11:52 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| julesvm
(OP) User ID: 57641706 United States08/30/2014 12:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I just want to say that for all the posts that are critical of me posting all my family drama etc... I am doing so rather carefully (won't say what protective measures I've taken) anonymously on a forum I can assure you no one in my family reads... Any physical friends that I have who might read it and guess it's me would only be able to do so because they already know the situation with my history and family. Anyone who could even come close to figuring out who I am or who she is already through internet sleuthing probably knows everything about me anyway and has way more access and skills than 99.9% of the population. Kudos to them... I don;t live my life in fear of what others think of me - I just try to be open and honest. As for the tackiness and karma - because I am doing this anonymously and it is helping me tremendously. I hope it helps someone else too... I think risking the airing out of my dirty laundry in that vein is acceptable and outweighs any karmic effect. I really do appreciate all the comments - even those that are highly critical. I hope to grow from it and also maybe teach my kids something from this. My oldest is not even a teen yet so I'm okay with the fact he cried, especially given the circumstances, but I will take to heat the need to raise him with a bit more grit. I am by no means perfect - it has helped me to see my role in the situation and hopefully grow and change for the better. GLP is awesome. Speaking of how awesome GLP is, just want to say it warms my heart to see the majority of people here are smart, compassionate and reasonable (even though it wasn;t always what I wanted to hear) and just a small percentage were assholes or used it as an excuse to excercise their own demons. I have hope for the world... |
| CatRWall
Deplorable CatRWall User ID: 52395565 United States08/30/2014 12:15 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I think my sister is crazy but maybe I'm the one who's nuts... long story short we went to visit other family a few weeks ago and she was there (I usually try to avoid her) Quoting: fore-eyz She was the only adult in the room when her teenage daughter and another cousin started joking about things my son is very sensitive about and he started crying. My anger was not necessarily in what was said knowing he was very emotional in general and might have just been too thin skinned but that no one cared he was hurt by WHATEVER happened. Instead of apologizing everyone (including the adult) started defending themselves and still showed no concern. I called my sister out on it and it got very ugly. 10 minutes later her complete bitch of a daughter comes in and nastily says "I guess I'm supposed to apologize to you about some dead guy or something" and that was the last straw. I packed up my stuff and left on a 2 day drive the next morning (a week early). I called my husband from the road and, crying, explained some of it. He then fired off this email and right after is her response... FYI - I just found out today because he didn't want me to know how she responded but my mom asked me about it, so apparently she's been talking a storm up... On Fri, Aug 15, 2014 at 10:49 AM, Ted wrote: Clare, Juliet told me this morning that you made Nicolas cry while making fun of the friend from our neighborhood who died in a motorcycle accident last weekend for riding without a helmet and having a funny name. That really made me dissapointed in you, I thought you had more integrity than that. Nicolas is just a boy, even though his physical appearance is more like that of a young man. I think sometimes people forget that and just see the outside. As you know, the while family has had a rough time this month between having to put our beloved Ringo down, my job concerns and company layoffs and now this unexpected tragedy that hits so close to home. And now I hear you are angry that Juliet called you out on it and screamed at her. I'll pray for you that God will open your heart and fill you with His love. That you will be forgiven and free forever. Take care, Ted On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 11:31 AM, Clare wrote: Dear Ted -- If you believe everything you hear, you are truly foolish. Your absence from the situation attributes to your complete lack of perspective, and yet your subsequent judgement speak volumes. You and I do not have a relationship that would warrant this kind of communication. I presume you sent this to me to have some effect which eludes me, and honestly makes me question your intentions, not to mention your grasp on reality. Please keep your opinions to yourself in the future as I have no interest or investment in your opinion of me or your skewed and vapid communications. I truly hope that your family gets the help it so desperately needs. Sincerely - Clare Tell me what you think GLP... My take is that you and your sister have issues that go way way back, before you were either married, back before you had children. My advice would be to either deal with those issues directly, or simply break off contact with your sister for now. Sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder. My sister and I moved to opposite coasts (me California, she North Carolina) and have spent very little of our adult lives near each other. However, as we grow older we're getting closer because the old issues are so distant and we realize time is short. Good luck. Last Edited by Deplorable CatRWall on 08/30/2014 12:20 PM |
| julesvm
(OP) User ID: 57641706 United States08/30/2014 12:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| 1 | I need your opinion - family squabble | 11/02/16 |
| 2 | Family squabble. Need advice | 12/16/17 |
