help me out GLP - give me your honest opinion about this family squabble

Clare seems pretty intelligent and articulate. I think we'd be friends.

Well, I'm sorry to be so blunt but honestly you and your husband tried to communicate with her your issue and she acted very immaturely. Let that be a lesson learned that you and your husband and son are all you can worry about. Let her be how she wants bc you and your husband can't change or help her. No, I don't think your crazy either (: Cling to God, your husband and son, they're all that matter. (: and pray for everyone in the world, it's all we can do. I know how you feel.. wanting relationships to be healthy and not fucked up in families but sometimes it just doesn't work out the way we'd like. Hope this helps.. God bless (:

I feel Clare missed the point entirely by her articulate, yet deflective response.
Not a word about hurting you sons feelings....
I don't allow people like that to
Hang in my kingdom.

I feel Clare missed the point entirely by her articulate, yet deflective response.
Not a word about hurting you sons feelings....
I don't allow people like that to
Hang in my kingdom.

Fair enough...

I'm asking honestly - is there something I did or didn't do that made the situation that bad? Should I try to fix it?

I think my sister is crazy but maybe I'm the one who's nuts... long story short we went to visit other family a few weeks ago and she was there (I usually try to avoid her)

She was the only adult in the room when her teenage daughter and another cousin started joking about things my son is very sensitive about and he started crying. My anger was not necessarily in what was said knowing he was very emotional in general and might have just been too thin skinned but that no one cared he was hurt by WHATEVER happened. Instead of apologizing everyone (including the adult) started defending themselves and still showed no concern.

I called my sister out on it and it got very ugly. 10 minutes later her complete bitch of a daughter comes in and nastily says "I guess I'm supposed to apologize to you about some dead guy or something" and that was the last straw.

I packed up my stuff and left on a 2 day drive the next morning (a week early). I called my husband from the road and, crying, explained some of it. He then fired off this email and right after is her response... FYI - I just found out today because he didn't want me to know how she responded but my mom asked me about it, so apparently she's been talking a storm up...


On Fri, Aug 15, 2014 at 10:49 AM, Ted wrote:

Clare,

Juliet told me this morning that you made Nicolas cry while making fun of the friend from our neighborhood who died in a motorcycle accident last weekend for riding without a helmet and having a funny name. That really made me dissapointed in you, I thought you had more integrity than that.  Nicolas is just a boy, even though his physical appearance is more like that of a young man. I think sometimes people forget that and just see the outside.

As you know, the while family has had a rough time this month between having to put our beloved Ringo down, my job concerns and company layoffs and now this unexpected tragedy that hits so close to home.  And now I hear you are angry that Juliet called you out on it and screamed at her.   I'll pray for you that God will open your heart and fill you with His love. That you will be forgiven and free forever.

Take care,
Ted

On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 11:31 AM, Clare wrote:

Dear Ted --

If you believe everything you hear, you are truly foolish. Your absence from the situation attributes to your complete lack of perspective, and yet your subsequent judgement speak volumes.

You and I do not have a relationship that would warrant this kind of communication. I presume you sent this to me to have some effect which eludes me, and honestly makes me question your intentions, not to mention your grasp on reality.

Please keep your opinions to yourself in the future as I have no interest or investment in your opinion of me or your skewed and vapid communications.

I truly hope that your family gets the help it so desperately needs.

Sincerely -
Clare

Tell me what you think GLP...

Clare seems pretty intelligent and articulate. I think we'd be friends.

There is a difference between intelligence and wisdom.
Clare sounds like she is sadly lacking in the latter,
as are most "intelligent" people.
Wisdom is GOLD, Intelligence is SILVER.

Well, I'm sorry to be so blunt but honestly you and your husband tried to communicate with her your issue and she acted very immaturely. Let that be a lesson learned that you and your husband and son are all you can worry about. Let her be how she wants bc you and your husband can't change or help her. No, I don't think your crazy either (: Cling to God, your husband and son, they're all that matter. (: and pray for everyone in the world, it's all we can do. I know how you feel.. wanting relationships to be healthy and not fucked up in families but sometimes it just doesn't work out the way we'd like. Hope this helps.. God bless (:

I think my sister is crazy but maybe I'm the one who's nuts... long story short we went to visit other family a few weeks ago and she was there (I usually try to avoid her)

She was the only adult in the room when her teenage daughter and another cousin started joking about things my son is very sensitive about and he started crying. My anger was not necessarily in what was said knowing he was very emotional in general and might have just been too thin skinned but that no one cared he was hurt by WHATEVER happened. Instead of apologizing everyone (including the adult) started defending themselves and still showed no concern.

I called my sister out on it and it got very ugly. 10 minutes later her complete bitch of a daughter comes in and nastily says "I guess I'm supposed to apologize to you about some dead guy or something" and that was the last straw.

I packed up my stuff and left on a 2 day drive the next morning (a week early). I called my husband from the road and, crying, explained some of it. He then fired off this email and right after is her response... FYI - I just found out today because he didn't want me to know how she responded but my mom asked me about it, so apparently she's been talking a storm up...


On Fri, Aug 15, 2014 at 10:49 AM, Ted wrote:

Clare,

Juliet told me this morning that you made Nicolas cry while making fun of the friend from our neighborhood who died in a motorcycle accident last weekend for riding without a helmet and having a funny name. That really made me dissapointed in you, I thought you had more integrity than that.  Nicolas is just a boy, even though his physical appearance is more like that of a young man. I think sometimes people forget that and just see the outside.

As you know, the while family has had a rough time this month between having to put our beloved Ringo down, my job concerns and company layoffs and now this unexpected tragedy that hits so close to home.  And now I hear you are angry that Juliet called you out on it and screamed at her.   I'll pray for you that God will open your heart and fill you with His love. That you will be forgiven and free forever.

Take care,
Ted

On Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 11:31 AM, Clare wrote:

Dear Ted --

If you believe everything you hear, you are truly foolish. Your absence from the situation attributes to your complete lack of perspective, and yet your subsequent judgement speak volumes.

You and I do not have a relationship that would warrant this kind of communication. I presume you sent this to me to have some effect which eludes me, and honestly makes me question your intentions, not to mention your grasp on reality.

Please keep your opinions to yourself in the future as I have no interest or investment in your opinion of me or your skewed and vapid communications.

I truly hope that your family gets the help it so desperately needs.

Sincerely -
Clare

Tell me what you think GLP...

I'm asking honestly - is there something I did or didn't do that made the situation that bad? Should I try to fix it?

My opinion?
Of course you realize your sister is horrible mean person. Her entire response is me oriented and cold and cruel. She is psychotic.
Second, you must already realize this and you should quit being surprised by it and expect it from her.
Third, because of the above, why the hell would you or your husband feel the need to explain yourself to a crack pot? This bitch doesn't care about anyone's feelings. You can only go home and thank your lucky star that the blood from your normal parent diluted this potential personality trait in you.
Forth, you never mentioned how old or what is wrong with your son. It's hard to figure out if he is overly sensitive, but I am guessing yes. However, that is much better than being a psycho.
Fifth, the real issue to be dealt with is explaining to your son that assholes exist and yes, even in our own families and how to deal with it in a more constructive way than crying. He needs to learn to express how he feels with his words, that will empower him.

Family is anyone that you choose to bring into your circle. Blood kind can often be your very worst nightmare -- trust me.

Surround yourself with positive, upbeat people who have a heart. Say a prayer for your sister & her rude daughter, but don't feel obligated to put up with their insensitivity issues. You can love them, but not like their actions.

Please don't waste precious time trying to mend a seam with very loose thread, that keeps coming apart.

Your immediate family is all that is important.

I'm asking honestly - is there something I did or didn't do that made the situation that bad? Should I try to fix it?