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October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.

 
Anonymous Coward
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10/21/2014 07:18 PM
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Sorry for your loss. I liked the way you dealt with things to the end. Life is fragile. Keep strong :)
Bless You Sir
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.


1/ I am so sorry

2/ You have experienced the #1absolute worst thing a human experience

That you have the will to live and the courage to share this speaks volumes

3/ as a father of 2 kids, and as someone with a foreclosure and money problems and other shit, this page will be printed to remind me daily of WHAT REAL SUFFERING IS and to give me perspective

You are a gift to this world by not allowing the evil and loss to consume you

I hope I can be 1/2 the man you are someday

PS She is in heaven, whatever heaven may be...

Anonymous Coward
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10/21/2014 07:23 PM
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Thank you for sharing your story and tragedy that occured in your life. It made me very emotional and close to tears. I hope the rest of your life is filled with blessings and memories of all the good times you and your daughter shared together. As a father of two beautiful daughters of my own, this really touched me in a deep way. I can only hope that it helps me with wisdome to be a better father, watching my daughters closely. Communicating with them regularly, but most of all, cherishing every minute that I can with them.

I hope someday you will be united with her in the next life. She surely knows how much you loved and love her.

Peace to you always my friend.
No More Lies

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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
bump

so tragic OP...

Last Edited by PANIK on 10/21/2014 07:29 PM
furPete'sSake

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gosh really sorry to read this, prayers for all of your family
"It's a friendly friendly world" (Andy Kaufman)
Calm seas do not a sailor make,
Nor easy horses, a horseman.
And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water And he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower and when He could be certain only drowning men could see Him- Leonard Cohen
Kris2014

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October 27, 2005 The day my world was turned upside down forever.

As the 9th anniversary of this day approaches I thought I'd share this story with my fellow GLPers. It's not something
I mention very often, but find that talking about it always helps.

Thursday, October 27, 2005 started out like any other day. I was up by 6 AM and out the door and on my way to work by 7. I made a quick stop at the local coffee shop, grabbed one to go and was at work by 7:30.

Around 9:30, just as I was sitting down for a break, my boss opened the door to my work area and handed me the phone. I was surprised to hear my ex-wife, who I very rarely talked to, on the other end telling me I better get home quick because our daughter Sandra (age 29) was missing.

"Huh?, what?, she's missing? What's going on?" Well, she said in a panicked voice "I went to her place this morning at 6am as usual to babysit the (grand) kids. But she wasn't there and the front door wasn't closed." "The kids" she said (2 boys 11, and 2 and one girl 4) "were all in there beds sound asleep but no sign of Sandra."

I was already in a daze as I swallowed hard and asked "Have the police been called?" "Yes", my ex replied "and they
are very, very concerned, especially since Ed has been making so many threats against her lately."

Ed was the man my daughter had recently separated from. They'd been together for 12 years and gave me my 3 beautiful
grandchildren. About 3 years before they split up something had changed with Ed. He quit working and started doing drugs day and night. He started hanging out with some real losers and had all but given up on being a dad. My daughter cajoled, pleaded and pretty much begged him to get a grip and start being the man he once was. But it was all to no
avail. Finally, at wits end she told him he had to leave, but left open the possibility of reconciling if he would
only change his ways. But instead of changing he kept getting worse and was rapidly becoming a drug addled zombie.
When my daughter refused several times to take him back the threats started. "Sandra, if you don't take me back I'm going to kill my self" or "Take me back or I'll kill you."

As frightened as she was she never wavered in her refusal to take him back, and instead applied for and received
a restraining order against him. The restraining order never did do much good as he continued to harass her
without the police doing more than giving him repeated warnings.

I put the phone down, stuck my head in the bosses door and told him I had a family emergency and had to go home.
"No problem" he said. "Hope everything is okay"

Even then I had a horrible feeling that everything was definitely not okay.

I wasn't sure where to go first so I went straight to my daughter's house. A chill ran up and down my spine as I turned on to her street. It was blocked off on both ends and anyone who didn't have business being there was being turned around. I remember walking past a van that was labeled "forensics unit" as well as a canine unit truck and more police cars and vans than I could count. As I approached her house which was also cordoned off I heard my ex saying "there he is." Accompanied by two detectives she ran up to me and gave me a hug. She was a mess and I could tell by looking at her that she was totally distraught.

By now I was as much a mess as she was. The two detectives asked me some questions and I suppose, being satisfied
that I had nothing to do with Sandra's disappearance answered some of my own questions.

As near as they could tell they thought she had been lured from the house around 4am. Lured because there were
no signs of a struggle in the house and the kids had not woken up. Once outside they thought she had likely been
forced into a vehicle since she would never leave the kids home alone in the middle of the night. And since she also had to be at her job as a Personal Support Worker by 7am, there was very little chance that she'd just up and gone for a joyride at 4am.

Since there wasn't much I could do there other than watching the police scurrying about I decided to go home and await developments. The detective in charge assured me they'd call as soon as any information became available.

When I got home I started calling friends and relatives and by noon I had a house full of anxious and worried people who were trading theories and trying to reassure me and each other that it would all be okay.

To this day my most vivid memory of that whole crazy time was when two police cars followed by an unmarked car pulled up in front of my house.I looked up at my kitchen clock and at all the stunned faces in the room. It was exactly 5:03 pm when two officers and a detective got out of the unmarked car and knocked on my front door. They were followed by two women who had been in the first police cruiser. I opened the door and knew by the looks on all their faces what they were about to tell me.

A farmer west of town was out checking his property that afternoon. He had found a burned out car and in that car were what appeared to be two badly burned bodies. The detective thought it might be my daughter and her ex. "Might be?" I yelled. "Is it her or isn't it?" The officers looked at each other and then at me as the detective answered "We believe it's her."

At this point I sat down in my chair and just stared into space as the detective started talking about the investigation,autopsy, evidence and some other stuff I wasn't paying much attention to. Everyone else in the house went quiet and apart from some sobs and sniffles it was deathly still. Sensing that some of the others and I were about to lose it the ladies with the officers (who were grief counselors) took over as the officers stood by. After half an hour or so I told them all I would like to be alone with my friends and family and they left.

The investigation into my daughter's murder never determined the exact cause of her death. All they could tell for sure was that she was already dead when the car burned because there was no soot in her throat. Ed, on the other hand, did die a horrible death as he incinerated himself in the flaming wreck.

Sandra was a wonderful, devoted mother and a daughter any dad would be proud to have. She was studying to be a paramedic and was about to graduate with honors in spite of all her personal problems.

Of course I still grieve her death to this very day. But, I also realized that life must go on and if I let my grief
destroy me I'd be just as much a victim as her.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Some of the last pictures taken of Sandra in 2005

1sandra05 2sandra05

On the fifth anniversary of her murder, me and some friends put together a little memorial for her. My 2 youngest grand kids are the ones playing in the machine.

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]



Finally, one of the many news reports about her murder. All the papers listed her age as 32 but it was actually 29.

[link to www.zoominfo.com]
 Quoting: my 2 cents



I'm so sorry. :-( I feel so sad now. What an awful person. How are the kids doing? Again, I'm so sorry. You are very brave to share your story. God bless you.
Kris2014
Anonymous Coward
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10/21/2014 07:27 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
I am so very sorry. Your daughter must have experienced unimaginable fear caused by that demon monster. I assure you she is at peace and he is a tortured soul. I am sure her last thoughts were of her children. God has her in his arms.

I lived in great fear of an ex-husband. He threatened to kill me on many occasions and tortured me in unspeakable ways. I tried to have him arrested but he was a cop in one of the most corrupt departments in the U.S. I could not get any help at all. He was a heavy drinker and a drug user, but not one person would listen to me when I made complaints. He handcuffed me to the headboard and would leave to drink and do his drugs and come back home every couple of hours to torture me & leave again. The things he did to me were totally degrading. I left to go to the store one day and never went back.. Only the clothes on my back.

For the next couple of years he stalked me, threatened to kill me and said he could easily disappear my body. He got me fired from 4 jobs, broke all the windows in my car and would leave frightening things on my steps. Every day of my life was a living hell. I knew he was going to kill me eventually. He even threatened to kill my attorney & his family by burning their house down. At the time there were no stalking laws. Threats meant nothing without actions, but my attorney feared him and even told me "he will probably kill you one day." I avoided going anywhere alone. My story is long and the details are horrendous with his abuse and with my experience with the legal system and because he was a cop. I could get no relief or justice. I even ended up in the hospital with shattered cheekbones, burnt hands, and numerous injuries but still no help at all. That "thin blue line." They wouldn't betray one of their own.

Then one day the calls stopped completely and I didn't hear from him for over a week. I was so relieved but still scared. Then I was told he was found dead in the house we used to live in together. He was slumped to the floor next to the table with a plate of food. Autopsy showed he choked to death on a piece of steak. I felt no sympathy for him. I have had a wonderful life since he died. But I know the terror and fear well and I could feel the fear your daughter must have experienced. She is an angel now . I don't know why but my heart tells me that monster came to your daughter's house and she convinced him to leave & take her with him in order to spare the children. I feel she gave her life to save her babies.

My heart breaks for you, your ex wife and grandchildren. The children are very lucky to have you and your ex wife. May God bless & guide you.
98t

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10/21/2014 07:28 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
I am sorry, OP.
98t
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10/21/2014 07:29 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
OP, there are few posts that make me cry, this one did. I am so very sorry.


hfgrouphug
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
October 27, 2005 The day my world was turned upside down forever.

As the 9th anniversary of this day approaches I thought I'd share this story with my fellow GLPers. It's not something
I mention very often, but find that talking about it always helps.

Thursday, October 27, 2005 started out like any other day. I was up by 6 AM and out the door and on my way to work by 7. I made a quick stop at the local coffee shop, grabbed one to go and was at work by 7:30.

Around 9:30, just as I was sitting down for a break, my boss opened the door to my work area and handed me the phone. I was surprised to hear my ex-wife, who I very rarely talked to, on the other end telling me I better get home quick because our daughter Sandra (age 29) was missing.

"Huh?, what?, she's missing? What's going on?" Well, she said in a panicked voice "I went to her place this morning at 6am as usual to babysit the (grand) kids. But she wasn't there and the front door wasn't closed." "The kids" she said (2 boys 11, and 2 and one girl 4) "were all in there beds sound asleep but no sign of Sandra."

I was already in a daze as I swallowed hard and asked "Have the police been called?" "Yes", my ex replied "and they
are very, very concerned, especially since Ed has been making so many threats against her lately."

Ed was the man my daughter had recently separated from. They'd been together for 12 years and gave me my 3 beautiful
grandchildren. About 3 years before they split up something had changed with Ed. He quit working and started doing drugs day and night. He started hanging out with some real losers and had all but given up on being a dad. My daughter cajoled, pleaded and pretty much begged him to get a grip and start being the man he once was. But it was all to no
avail. Finally, at wits end she told him he had to leave, but left open the possibility of reconciling if he would
only change his ways. But instead of changing he kept getting worse and was rapidly becoming a drug addled zombie.
When my daughter refused several times to take him back the threats started. "Sandra, if you don't take me back I'm going to kill my self" or "Take me back or I'll kill you."

As frightened as she was she never wavered in her refusal to take him back, and instead applied for and received
a restraining order against him. The restraining order never did do much good as he continued to harass her
without the police doing more than giving him repeated warnings.

I put the phone down, stuck my head in the bosses door and told him I had a family emergency and had to go home.
"No problem" he said. "Hope everything is okay"

Even then I had a horrible feeling that everything was definitely not okay.

I wasn't sure where to go first so I went straight to my daughter's house. A chill ran up and down my spine as I turned on to her street. It was blocked off on both ends and anyone who didn't have business being there was being turned around. I remember walking past a van that was labeled "forensics unit" as well as a canine unit truck and more police cars and vans than I could count. As I approached her house which was also cordoned off I heard my ex saying "there he is." Accompanied by two detectives she ran up to me and gave me a hug. She was a mess and I could tell by looking at her that she was totally distraught.

By now I was as much a mess as she was. The two detectives asked me some questions and I suppose, being satisfied
that I had nothing to do with Sandra's disappearance answered some of my own questions.

As near as they could tell they thought she had been lured from the house around 4am. Lured because there were
no signs of a struggle in the house and the kids had not woken up. Once outside they thought she had likely been
forced into a vehicle since she would never leave the kids home alone in the middle of the night. And since she also had to be at her job as a Personal Support Worker by 7am, there was very little chance that she'd just up and gone for a joyride at 4am.

Since there wasn't much I could do there other than watching the police scurrying about I decided to go home and await developments. The detective in charge assured me they'd call as soon as any information became available.

When I got home I started calling friends and relatives and by noon I had a house full of anxious and worried people who were trading theories and trying to reassure me and each other that it would all be okay.

To this day my most vivid memory of that whole crazy time was when two police cars followed by an unmarked car pulled up in front of my house.I looked up at my kitchen clock and at all the stunned faces in the room. It was exactly 5:03 pm when two officers and a detective got out of the unmarked car and knocked on my front door. They were followed by two women who had been in the first police cruiser. I opened the door and knew by the looks on all their faces what they were about to tell me.

A farmer west of town was out checking his property that afternoon. He had found a burned out car and in that car were what appeared to be two badly burned bodies. The detective thought it might be my daughter and her ex. "Might be?" I yelled. "Is it her or isn't it?" The officers looked at each other and then at me as the detective answered "We believe it's her."

At this point I sat down in my chair and just stared into space as the detective started talking about the investigation,autopsy, evidence and some other stuff I wasn't paying much attention to. Everyone else in the house went quiet and apart from some sobs and sniffles it was deathly still. Sensing that some of the others and I were about to lose it the ladies with the officers (who were grief counselors) took over as the officers stood by. After half an hour or so I told them all I would like to be alone with my friends and family and they left.

The investigation into my daughter's murder never determined the exact cause of her death. All they could tell for sure was that she was already dead when the car burned because there was no soot in her throat. Ed, on the other hand, did die a horrible death as he incinerated himself in the flaming wreck.

Sandra was a wonderful, devoted mother and a daughter any dad would be proud to have. She was studying to be a paramedic and was about to graduate with honors in spite of all her personal problems.

Of course I still grieve her death to this very day. But, I also realized that life must go on and if I let my grief
destroy me I'd be just as much a victim as her.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Some of the last pictures taken of Sandra in 2005

1sandra05 2sandra05

On the fifth anniversary of her murder, me and some friends put together a little memorial for her. My 2 youngest grand kids are the ones playing in the machine.

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]



Finally, one of the many news reports about her murder. All the papers listed her age as 32 but it was actually 29.

[link to www.zoominfo.com]
 Quoting: my 2 cents


Thanks. I'm at a loss for words. Still choked up fifteen minutes later.

I think you've helped many of us here today. More than you know.
Government...
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Ment: MIND
CONTROL MIND;MIND CONTROL

The terrorists attacks which will be launched in the United States will be blamed upon middle eastern religious fanatics, Christian fundamentalists, white supremacists, Patriots, or Militias. A more immediate result of these operations will be the increased use of military forces, weaponry, and equipment such as tanks and armored personnel carriers in civilian law enforcement, the suspension or elimination of Habeas Corpus, the elimination of jury trials, the attempted disarming of the American People, and the institution of martial law with show-trials conducted by a tribunal of judges. - William Cooper 1997 (RIP)

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And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. - John 3:19

Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that it is near, right at the door. - Mark 13:29
Anonymous Coward
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10/21/2014 07:34 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
May you and your entire family be surrounded by perpetual light and love. May this light be the beacon for the many who have read this post, listened to your story, and been touched by the pain of this senseless act. May the love in your heart continue to inspire all whose eyes have been opened by your words. God bless you friend.

Namaste.
PirateMonkey

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10/21/2014 07:41 PM
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hf
7/11 was a part time job!

Psalm 35:19 Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: neither let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause.
my 2 cents  (OP)

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10/21/2014 07:44 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
I'm so sorry. :-( I feel so sad now. What an awful person. How are the kids doing? Again, I'm so sorry. You are very brave to share your story. God bless you.
 Quoting: Kris2014


Thanks for your kind words.
The kids are doing as well as can be expected. The two youngest were only 2 and 4 at the time, although scarred, were young enough that they were able to carry on pretty much normally.
They do well in school, have lots of friends and seem pretty typical for kids their age.
However, my grandson who was 11 then is a different matter. He turned into a real recluse when he lost his mom. He wasn't interested in having close friends, in school or any of the typical things you'd see in a boy his age.
He's had a lot of counseling and over the years we've seen some improvement but the whole thing affected him very, very deeply. We can only hope he continues to improve as time goes on.
Patriotism is supporting your country always -- and your government when they deserve it. Mark Twain


Those who beat their swords into plowshares usually end up plowing for those who kept their swords. -Benjamin Franklin
Angel Eyes Not logged in
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10/21/2014 07:56 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
I'm so sorry for the tragic loss of your beautiful daughter. My husband passed away two years ago and it was the most difficult and heartbreaking experience I've ever had to go through....I cannot imagine losing a child. I wish you the best and may God bless and keep you.
Anonymous Coward
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
i can relate to your loss , i had a girlfreind who was murdered it is a hurt like no other , the pain of something like this is crippeling i didnt want to talk to anyone or see anyone just be alone , i do sympathize my freind .time has a way of easing the pain ,but you never fully recover they say. and saddly they are right.
~kpm~

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10/21/2014 07:57 PM

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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
Your story is heartbreaking, thank you for sharing it with us. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter.

hf
~With forethought and malice Whitless enacted an EO giving nursing homes immunity from wrongful death prosecutions, forced them to take in infected patients and is responsible for over 6500+ nursing home deaths~
Anonymous Coward
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
Prayers sent up for your grandson.

This just breaks my heart. Drugs SUCK.
SkinnyChic

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10/21/2014 08:05 PM

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My 2 Cents,
I have attempted several times today to reply to your thread. I just can not find the words, because truely there are none adequate enough. Such a tragic, horrible loss of your beautiful daughter. I commend you for having the strength to share your story with us. I am sorry beyond words. Sending love and prayers to you and your family.
my 2 cents  (OP)

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10/21/2014 08:11 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
I am so very sorry. Your daughter must have experienced unimaginable fear caused by that demon monster. I assure you she is at peace and he is a tortured soul. I am sure her last thoughts were of her children. God has her in his arms.

I lived in great fear of an ex-husband. He threatened to kill me on many occasions and tortured me in unspeakable ways. I tried to have him arrested but he was a cop in one of the most corrupt departments in the U.S. I could not get any help at all. He was a heavy drinker and a drug user, but not one person would listen to me when I made complaints. He handcuffed me to the headboard and would leave to drink and do his drugs and come back home every couple of hours to torture me & leave again. The things he did to me were totally degrading. I left to go to the store one day and never went back.. Only the clothes on my back.

For the next couple of years he stalked me, threatened to kill me and said he could easily disappear my body. He got me fired from 4 jobs, broke all the windows in my car and would leave frightening things on my steps. Every day of my life was a living hell. I knew he was going to kill me eventually. He even threatened to kill my attorney & his family by burning their house down. At the time there were no stalking laws. Threats meant nothing without actions, but my attorney feared him and even told me "he will probably kill you one day." I avoided going anywhere alone. My story is long and the details are horrendous with his abuse and with my experience with the legal system and because he was a cop. I could get no relief or justice. I even ended up in the hospital with shattered cheekbones, burnt hands, and numerous injuries but still no help at all. That "thin blue line." They wouldn't betray one of their own.

Then one day the calls stopped completely and I didn't hear from him for over a week. I was so relieved but still scared. Then I was told he was found dead in the house we used to live in together. He was slumped to the floor next to the table with a plate of food. Autopsy showed he choked to death on a piece of steak. I felt no sympathy for him. I have had a wonderful life since he died. But I know the terror and fear well and I could feel the fear your daughter must have experienced. She is an angel now . I don't know why but my heart tells me that monster came to your daughter's house and she convinced him to leave & take her with him in order to spare the children. I feel she gave her life to save her babies.

My heart breaks for you, your ex wife and grandchildren. The children are very lucky to have you and your ex wife. May God bless & guide you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 62302961


Wow what a powerful story. And what a testament to your inner strength that you were somehow able to carry on through the nightmare he was putting you through.
Karma came back on your ex and though I wish death on no one, if it wasn't him it surely would have been you.
Bless you.
Patriotism is supporting your country always -- and your government when they deserve it. Mark Twain


Those who beat their swords into plowshares usually end up plowing for those who kept their swords. -Benjamin Franklin
January Wolves

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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
So sorry, M2C. She was such a beautiful girl and sounds like she had much to live for. I lost my husband to murder also several years ago, and as horrible as that was, I can't even imagine the pain of losing one of my children. It has to be the worst thing imaginable. My heart goes out to you.

And those "anniversary days" totally throw me for a loop also even though each year I tell myself I'm not going to loose it when it comes around - but I do anyway. Not sure how to stop that cycle nor whether it even can be stopped.

I hope you know that you will see her again some day. Blessings to you.

hf
Threelittlelambs
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10/21/2014 08:13 PM

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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
Thank you for sharing your story and the pictures of your beautiful daughter. I am so sorry for your loss. Our family will remember yours in prayer on the anniversary of this tragic event.
Anonymous Coward
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
I admire your outlook on this horrible situation. Very sorry for your loss.
Anonymous Coward
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
So very, very, sorry for your loss, OP.

That being said, to all of the other parents out there, buy your daughter a handgun, and make sure she knows how to use it.
my 2 cents  (OP)

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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
My 2 Cents,
I have attempted several times today to reply to your thread. I just can not find the words, because truely there are none adequate enough. Such a tragic, horrible loss of your beautiful daughter. I commend you for having the strength to share your story with us. I am sorry beyond words. Sending love and prayers to you and your family.
 Quoting: SkinnyChic


Thanks for your reply. Because of people like you and so many others in the GLP community. this anniversary won't be remembered so much for the tragic event, but for the uplifting of spirit that I received here today.
Bless you.
Patriotism is supporting your country always -- and your government when they deserve it. Mark Twain


Those who beat their swords into plowshares usually end up plowing for those who kept their swords. -Benjamin Franklin
SkinnyChic

User ID: 59666502
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10/21/2014 08:24 PM

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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
My 2 Cents,
I have attempted several times today to reply to your thread. I just can not find the words, because truely there are none adequate enough. Such a tragic, horrible loss of your beautiful daughter. I commend you for having the strength to share your story with us. I am sorry beyond words. Sending love and prayers to you and your family.
 Quoting: SkinnyChic


Thanks for your reply. Because of people like you and so many others in the GLP community. this anniversary won't be remembered so much for the tragic event, but for the uplifting of spirit that I received here today.
Bless you.
 Quoting: my 2 cents


hugs grouphug hf
Thetruthmonger

User ID: 44102723
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10/21/2014 08:30 PM

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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
Thanks for sharing.

A very moving story indeed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 57663113
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10/21/2014 08:33 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
This case highlights the problem of the hatemongers who insist on handing out restraining orders like candy. Because men and children get screwed over with even the slightest accusation from a woman just dilutes resources that could go to help abused spouses and children who are truly in danger.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 28543046


Not so sure about that...
I think there are more valid restraining orders against male ex spouses and partners then you might imagine. Already, a few women here have told their own similar story.

Here's an article to show the point. Sadly, it is not an uncommon response, for a mentally ill loser to want to kill himself, or to think - "If I can't have her, no one will". Even taking out the whole family can happen, in their desperation.

"About 40 percent of women killed worldwide are done so by a partner, according to the World Health Organization's first global review of violence against women."
[link to www.usnews.com]
Iix
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10/21/2014 08:36 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
:,((((((((((((
Rev Woo-Woo

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10/21/2014 08:37 PM

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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
Wow! Your post really hit home with me.

My world turned upside down on October 19, 2005

Thread: Please Send Prayers For Rev. Stargazer And Her Family

Though our stories start out similarly, my daughter survived. 12 cranial surgeries and permanent brain damage but she is still here and I thank God every day.

Blessings to you and your family. Thank you for sharing. hf
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson



revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
CLV
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10/21/2014 08:38 PM
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Re: October 27, 2005, the day my world was turned upside down forever.
I'm so sorry. :-( I feel so sad now. What an awful person. How are the kids doing? Again, I'm so sorry. You are very brave to share your story. God bless you.
 Quoting: Kris2014


Thanks for your kind words.
The kids are doing as well as can be expected. The two youngest were only 2 and 4 at the time, although scarred, were young enough that they were able to carry on pretty much normally.
They do well in school, have lots of friends and seem pretty typical for kids their age.
However, my grandson who was 11 then is a different matter. He turned into a real recluse when he lost his mom. He wasn't interested in having close friends, in school or any of the typical things you'd see in a boy his age.
He's had a lot of counseling and over the years we've seen some improvement but the whole thing affected him very, very deeply. We can only hope he continues to improve as time goes on.
 Quoting: my 2 cents


I wrote earlier as survivor with troubled daughter.
I don't want to bring up more, but maybe another bit of experience will help.
Besides current challenges, my mom was shot and died in a domestic violence relationship. I was 11. I went to counseling, (no drugs, just talk) for many years, and I can say counseling and self-help groups saved me.
I advocate good counseling for the child and keep him busy with lots of things he will be interested in for his future. Not just soccer or drawing and such, but spark him up with his talents and skills, be it woodworking, science, rocks, hiking, or any thing he can enlarge on mentally.
I stopped telling the story of my mom's death at about 19 or so, that is when I was really healing.
I hope your boy can get good talks and find interests to help him heal as well.
Peace to you,p





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