I increasingly find myself hoping that I would get a terminal disease

Being dead I wouldn't have to deal with the bills and worry about having enough money to support my family. I wouldn't have to work in a job that's draining me of all my energy, so that I none to give to my family anymore. I wouldn't have to watch myself burning out into a human wreck. I wouldn't have to worry about doom and how my wife and kids will fare if the SHTF.

Fuck life. It has been like opening a huge glitzy box on the Christmas Eve (so much promise) only to find inside a big fat steaming turd and a spoon for eating it.