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Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts

 
Kelley_girl

User ID: 40124428
United States
11/29/2014 11:00 AM

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Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65499078
United States
11/29/2014 11:01 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
Depends on how deep in a world of materialism you live in.
Things are just things, and will forever be things.

Do you value things more, or people?
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2014 11:01 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
So youre the dude?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65593041
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11/29/2014 11:02 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


who pays for all the bills?
Annihilation

User ID: 8867417
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11/29/2014 11:03 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
Nope my husband doesn't buy me anything
If your dreams don't scare you.. they aren't big enough.
Kelley_girl  (OP)

User ID: 40124428
United States
11/29/2014 11:04 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
No I'm the wife,I just never thought about it. He works hard and pays the bills and buys me anything I want or need so why the big deal about gifts on Christmas or birthdays!
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
11/29/2014 11:04 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
Nope my husband doesn't buy me anything
 Quoting: Annihilation


That's because you have blood dripping from your eyes. lol
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/29/2014 11:05 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
No I'm the wife,I just never thought about it. He works hard and pays the bills and buys me anything I want or need so why the big deal about gifts on Christmas or birthdays!
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


There we go.

One in a million right there.

That is a good man.
Kelley_girl  (OP)

User ID: 40124428
United States
11/29/2014 11:05 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
Nope my husband doesn't buy me anything
 Quoting: Annihilation


Thank you!
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
nahkers

User ID: 59907859
United States
11/29/2014 11:09 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
My husband just bought me a bad ass pair of North Face boots for the polar vortex occasions.
When you find a piece of shit along side the road and you poke it with a stick, what do you expect to find inside of it, gold?
No, it's just going to stink more.
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2014 11:09 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
My husband doesn't buy me gifts either. We have been together for almost 20 years now and we have never bought for one another for holidays etc. I'm good with it...he is a great man so I never really thought about it I guess.
Kelley_girl  (OP)

User ID: 40124428
United States
11/29/2014 11:10 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
My own daughter got mad last week just because I wasn't mad about not getting a birthday present.She wasn't raised that way but now everyone wants to throw their opinion out there and I don't like it!
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65499078
United States
11/29/2014 11:11 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
My own daughter got mad last week just because I wasn't mad about not getting a birthday present.She wasn't raised that way but now everyone wants to throw their opinion out there and I don't like it!
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


Kids are built on the 'you must give me things to prove you love me' ideology.

Good luck.
Kelley_girl  (OP)

User ID: 40124428
United States
11/29/2014 11:14 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
My own daughter got mad last week just because I wasn't mad about not getting a birthday present.She wasn't raised that way but now everyone wants to throw their opinion out there and I don't like it!
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


Kids are built on the 'you must give me things to prove you love me' ideology.

Good luck.
 Quoting: Occasionally Swears


But I didn't raise her and her sisters that way,I have 4 children and it was never easy buying for that many.I just feel like this is an attack against my husband and it's pissing me off.
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/29/2014 11:15 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
I was a similar husband. wife didn't work, stayed home while I went to work, and watched the kids...
I don't buy presents. I never got anniversary gifts..
she left me, cheating I suspect with people she met in the night at the carwash. I always wonderd why the car was never clean..
back on topic. if I had it to do over again, I would have spent about 9grand less on the ring.
materialistic biatches.
op is a good woman, so long she aint a cheeter.
your man clearly is keeping it real.
good luck.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 49531429
United States
11/29/2014 11:15 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


Some individuals have withdrawn their emotional interest and involvement in celebrating any type of special days (holidays, birthdays) and therefore it's difficult for them to pretend to celebrate those days or adhere to the ingrained cultural mores (i.e. gift giving) just because someone else they care about still does honor/celebrate those days (and thus has expectations surrounding them).

So if you stopped caring about your birthday and made it 'just another day', and decided you didn't want anyone to buy your gifts on your birthday due to your stance/perspective on the manner - it may be difficult for you to have much emotional interest in someone else's birthday and to feel the desire to buy them gifts because that is not the perspective/mindset that you resonate with anymore and to do otherwise would make you feel like you were 'faking it' or being untrue to yourself and your feelings....
nahkers

User ID: 59907859
United States
11/29/2014 11:16 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


We don't exchange gifts either, he provides for everything so if I need something I just go get it but gifts are more frivolous I think on holidays/birthdays/anniversaries. We've never done it and don't expect it from each other but he does surprise me with random stuff like coffee mugs from the dollar store. I fucking hate coffee mugs, I think he does it to annoy me because the only one I like he accidentally broke the other day trying to hug me.
When you find a piece of shit along side the road and you poke it with a stick, what do you expect to find inside of it, gold?
No, it's just going to stink more.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29461319
Sweden
11/29/2014 11:17 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
I don't usually give my wife presents. I gave her a set of gold ear-rings ONCE, out of the blue and not on some special "occasion". That was perhaps 15 years ago.

I do give her a full body massage every night though! With a happy ending if she feels like it!
5a
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2014 11:20 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
Yes. Weid yes. Weird, no.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65271271
United States
11/29/2014 11:21 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
In my case, no gift was ever quite right. There was always something wrong with it. If it was something useful - that made it unromantic. If it was an item of apparel that I would like to see her in, it was never worn. If it was coupons to be used for chores, movie date, dinner date, Mom's day off, they never got used. I gave up. I just give her money now and tell her to use it for whatever she wants.
Kelley_girl  (OP)

User ID: 40124428
United States
11/29/2014 11:22 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


We don't exchange gifts either, he provides for everything so if I need something I just go get it but gifts are more frivolous I think on holidays/birthdays/anniversaries. We've never done it and don't expect it from each other but he does surprise me with random stuff like coffee mugs from the dollar store. I fucking hate coffee mugs, I think he does it to annoy me because the only one I like he accidentally broke the other day trying to hug me.
 Quoting: nahkers


Yes,mine will surprise me with crumb doughnuts because he knows I love them. He buys everything else I need and most everything I want (within reason of course) he made me dinner for my birthday. So why does everyone feel the need to bash him over stupid crap like presents. I don't buy him gifts either so wth!
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44877497
United States
11/29/2014 11:23 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


Some individuals have withdrawn their emotional interest and involvement in celebrating any type of special days (holidays, birthdays) and therefore it's difficult for them to pretend to celebrate those days or adhere to the ingrained cultural mores (i.e. gift giving) just because someone else they care about still does honor/celebrate those days (and thus has expectations surrounding them).

So if you stopped caring about your birthday and made it 'just another day', and decided you didn't want anyone to buy your gifts on your birthday due to your stance/perspective on the manner - it may be difficult for you to have much emotional interest in someone else's birthday and to feel the desire to buy them gifts because that is not the perspective/mindset that you resonate with anymore and to do otherwise would make you feel like you were 'faking it' or being untrue to yourself and your feelings....
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC



this is my stance on birthdays also. I don't do anything on my birthday, except work just like any other day.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65330255
United States
11/29/2014 11:24 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
My husband does not buy me anything either. Years ago he bought me a little trinket cost $1.00 anyway you open the top and its a little lady bug with the words I Love You. I still have that. Sits on the mantle. We both work and if I want anything I just go buy it. We split the bills but for some reason we cannot seem to split the housework. He seems to think that is all of my job. He only gets two days a week off and he does not want to spend it cleaning house. HELLO I only get two days a week off also. But he will mow the lawn and takes the cars for oil changes, fill my car up to. He is a very good person. I am so blessed that he came into my life. Would not trade him for any present.
Anonymous Coward
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11/29/2014 11:24 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


I stopped buying my wife gifts. Everything I purchased she returned. Wait, she didn't return the ballroom dancing video. She lost the return slip.
beeches

User ID: 28167778
United States
11/29/2014 11:25 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
My own daughter got mad last week just because I wasn't mad about not getting a birthday present.She wasn't raised that way but now everyone wants to throw their opinion out there and I don't like it!
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


the problem isn't gifts/ no gifts.

the problem is unasked people mixing in.


my husband gave me many gifts on a tight budget. Now, we are giving ourselves my early retirement.

a former husband gave NO gifts, except an unwrapped 67 cent paperback book from the grocery store one Christmas. That did bother me, better to not give gifts than to give a passive-aggressive one.
The gifts played no role whatsoever in the divorce several years later, but it was odd.

recognize the good in your husband and daughter, and ignore the advice from family, OP.

only you know what is in your husband's actions.

hf

Last Edited by beeches on 11/29/2014 11:26 AM
Liberalism is totalitarianism with a human face – Thomas Sowell
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 29461319
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11/29/2014 11:26 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


Some individuals have withdrawn their emotional interest and involvement in celebrating any type of special days (holidays, birthdays) and therefore it's difficult for them to pretend to celebrate those days or adhere to the ingrained cultural mores (i.e. gift giving) just because someone else they care about still does honor/celebrate those days (and thus has expectations surrounding them).

So if you stopped caring about your birthday and made it 'just another day', and decided you didn't want anyone to buy your gifts on your birthday due to your stance/perspective on the manner - it may be difficult for you to have much emotional interest in someone else's birthday and to feel the desire to buy them gifts because that is not the perspective/mindset that you resonate with anymore and to do otherwise would make you feel like you were 'faking it' or being disingenuous....
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


Yup. We don't even celebrate Christmas in my family any more. No tree, and no presents. The "kids" are grown up now, so it just feels pointless. We do put some effort into cooking a fine family dinner, but we do that all of the time, so it's not very special.

The main reason we dumped Christmas, is because it felt like a fake holiday to us - the remnants of a forgotten pagan ritual with Jesus tacked on to it, then rolled in sugar and turned into a tribute to consumerism.

Instead, we decided to hold a simple solstice celebration (a few days before Christmas). We gather the family and share a cake shaped as a sun wheel under candlelight. Nothing fancy, but it feels authentic - it's a simple celebration of the wheel of time, and a recognition of the year that passed.

Which means the oddly timed "New Year's Eve" just got abolished too! The year should be counted from solstice to solstice!
nahkers

User ID: 59907859
United States
11/29/2014 11:27 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


We don't exchange gifts either, he provides for everything so if I need something I just go get it but gifts are more frivolous I think on holidays/birthdays/anniversaries. We've never done it and don't expect it from each other but he does surprise me with random stuff like coffee mugs from the dollar store. I fucking hate coffee mugs, I think he does it to annoy me because the only one I like he accidentally broke the other day trying to hug me.
 Quoting: nahkers


Yes,mine will surprise me with crumb doughnuts because he knows I love them. He buys everything else I need and most everything I want (within reason of course) he made me dinner for my birthday. So why does everyone feel the need to bash him over stupid crap like presents. I don't buy him gifts either so wth!
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


It's those little things that keep us more than satisfied!

My family insults my husband too. I did get a car for my birthday last year, but he sold my car 2 days before so I kinda needed one. One of my family members asked me if my dad bought it for me, I was like WTF, I'm married my dad does not provide for my family. They act like he doesn't even exist.
When you find a piece of shit along side the road and you poke it with a stick, what do you expect to find inside of it, gold?
No, it's just going to stink more.
beeches

User ID: 28167778
United States
11/29/2014 11:28 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


Some individuals have withdrawn their emotional interest and involvement in celebrating any type of special days (holidays, birthdays) and therefore it's difficult for them to pretend to celebrate those days or adhere to the ingrained cultural mores (i.e. gift giving) just because someone else they care about still does honor/celebrate those days (and thus has expectations surrounding them).

So if you stopped caring about your birthday and made it 'just another day', and decided you didn't want anyone to buy your gifts on your birthday due to your stance/perspective on the manner - it may be difficult for you to have much emotional interest in someone else's birthday and to feel the desire to buy them gifts because that is not the perspective/mindset that you resonate with anymore and to do otherwise would make you feel like you were 'faking it' or being disingenuous....
 Quoting: ANHEDONIC


Yup. We don't even celebrate Christmas in my family any more. No tree, and no presents. The "kids" are grown up now, so it just feels pointless. We do put some effort into cooking a fine family dinner, but we do that all of the time, so it's not very special.

The main reason we dumped Christmas, is because it felt like a fake holiday to us - the remnants of a forgotten pagan ritual with Jesus tacked on to it, then rolled in sugar and turned into a tribute to consumerism.

Instead, we decided to hold a simple solstice celebration (a few days before Christmas). We gather the family and share a cake shaped as a sun wheel under candlelight. Nothing fancy, but it feels authentic - it's a simple celebration of the wheel of time, and a recognition of the year that passed.

Which means the oddly timed "New Year's Eve" just got abolished too! The year should be counted from solstice to solstice!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 29461319


Christmas is best celebrated in your church - so if you don't have it there, best to downplay the secular Christmas.
Liberalism is totalitarianism with a human face – Thomas Sowell
Kelley_girl  (OP)

User ID: 40124428
United States
11/29/2014 11:31 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
for his wife on any occasion? All of my friends and family think it's odd,I've never gave it much thought.So am I the weird one or are they?
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


We don't exchange gifts either, he provides for everything so if I need something I just go get it but gifts are more frivolous I think on holidays/birthdays/anniversaries. We've never done it and don't expect it from each other but he does surprise me with random stuff like coffee mugs from the dollar store. I fucking hate coffee mugs, I think he does it to annoy me because the only one I like he accidentally broke the other day trying to hug me.
 Quoting: nahkers


Yes,mine will surprise me with crumb doughnuts because he knows I love them. He buys everything else I need and most everything I want (within reason of course) he made me dinner for my birthday. So why does everyone feel the need to bash him over stupid crap like presents. I don't buy him gifts either so wth!
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


It's those little things that keep us more than satisfied!

My family insults my husband too. I did get a car for my birthday last year, but he sold my car 2 days before so I kinda needed one. One of my family members asked me if my dad bought it for me, I was like WTF, I'm married my dad does not provide for my family. They act like he doesn't even exist.
 Quoting: nahkers

Exactly!I'm so mad over this,he is kind,funny,loving and patient so why get bent out of shape over a so called gift. He does everything a husband should do!
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24599577
Australia
11/29/2014 11:35 AM
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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
sounds like a tight ass , cmon bdays and xmas only happen once a year , would giving you a bunch of flowers kill him ? FFS its a way of showing how you care and have taken the time to think about them . maybe hes just a lazy coont and cant be fucked with it . I think the fact that you have even had to discuss the issue says it bothers you .
scimitar

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11/29/2014 11:40 AM

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Re: Is it weid that a husband doesn't buy gifts
I literally hate buying gifts on demand...... I normally refuse to do it anymore. I buy gifts when I want to.

I give my wife flowers when I want to. I never expect any gifts at all.

Gladly receive what ever gifts are freely given, do not feel a repayment is owed. Give only what you want to give and never expect anything in return.
Ominous regressions
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GLP