If you skip a funeral/visitation, will there be regrets?

Yes

Thanks, AC, I am certain you are right about that.

Yes, but who cares? don't go if don't want, fuck them.

I never go to funerals if I get permission from the loved one first.

Last Edited by FalseFlash on 12/05/2014 06:33 AM

Yes, you will. Be there for the family and offer comfort. Go and pay your final respects. Your time will come one day, and you will reap tomorrow what you sowed today.

Yea because being stone dead....you will totally care...



Your decision OP. Ive sworn them off , personally. No point. Want to remember people alive not a hollow shell.

This site has been totally overwrought by the seemingly adolescent dredge of society recently. It's odd how they think they are being witty, when in reality, just reveal their filthy souls, for all the world to see. Oh well, carry on wayward travelers. Life has a way of teaching you the lessons you are in desperate need of learning. Good luck with that.

Yes you will.

Maybe not today or tomorrow but soon and for the rest of your life.

This is not a time to think about what you want or how you feel. It is for his family. Stop being selfish. Just avoid the body if it bothers you.

I totally get what you're saying and, like it or not, I will be attending the visitation.

I have to disagree with you on this though, "Your time will come one day, and you will reap tomorrow what you sowed today." I believe we reap what we sow in the land of the living. My friend and I sowed loving kindness towards one another over the years, and as a result, we reaped a beautiful friendship.

Selfish? I'm asking a question. Perhaps you didn't read past the title. And thank you, my plan was exactly that- avoid the casket. He isn't there. I am going to love and grieve with his beautiful family.

I had to miss the funeral of my Grandfather....and like you I am uneasy about attending ...

an option for you is to go visit his grave instead...and pay your respects that way...

No, you go for the living as he or she are not there sorry for the loss

To me it's my personal beliefs for me. Example: when my brother became very ill, I went to TX to spend a week with him. The day after we came back here, he passed away in his wife's arms. He wanted to be buried in MA.

I could not and did not fly up for that service. I felt like since he got right with God before he passed, that I will see him again. It was more important to me, and I believe to him, to have spent those days with him when he was on this earth out in TX.

I believe it's all such a personal and individual thing. Maybe there were people at my brother's service who thought this or that about my non-attendance, but I gave up being concerned about what others think a long time ago. You know the saying: what people think of me is none of my business.

And no, I do not have regrets.

I've never met anyone that enjoys funerals. The idea of a wake is to pay respects to the surviving family members. I've gone to wakes for parents of co workers parents and siblings. You would be amazed how much it means to the family. My dad passed a few years back and I was surprised at some of the people that showed up. It helped me get through a rough time knowing I had more support than I originally thought.

I don't go because I can't resist the urge to poke them with a stick...and I always see the body move,out of the corner of my eye.

Thank you for sharing a personal story. I would have done exactly what you did, in a situation such as that.

And I am so truly sorry for your loss, Ms. Superduper. I'm glad you were able to spend that precious time with your brother before he passed.

Thank you, AC.

LOL! Good morning, Brief. You always bring a smile to my face and give me a good .


Have a great day!

Thank you.

Please go. When a family loses a child at 19 it is a complete tragedy. Please let the family know how much you cared for their son by showing up. You don't have to say anything to them, but when they see all the people that cared for their son, it will bring them some comfort in the years to come. You don't have to walk up to the casket. Just stay in the background. I know this first hand. Over 600 people showed up for my sons funeral. There was a line to get in. It is a comfort to know how many people cared.

if you don't go to funerals of your friends,who will come to your funeral?
think of this

If you skip a funeral, the dead will visit you.

I was invited to a friends funeral once. I was the last person to see her and we made plans for the day and exact time of her funeral.

RIP Kathy

So unless you invite me I'm not going. Breaks my heart to think about Kathy.

Yes and you SHOULD GO. I have two terrible experiences that shattered my life in consequence...

1. My grandfather was dying in hospital. My father and I were supposed to go and visit him. I was just turned 18 at the time. My grsndfather was really, really deeply upset and disappointed that I did not go. This however had catastrphic consequences for me. MY grandfather deeply hated and distrusted my grandmother, so he had actually written a Will granting me EVERYTHING upon his death, house, furniture, money etc. The house today would be worth about $600,000. And looking back, I am convinced that he wanted to put his Will in my hands. Once he died, my grandmother IMMEDIATELY ripped up his Will and my father and my uncle covered it and huge pressure was put on me to shut up about it. The house instead went to my grandmother who died a few years later. My father and my uncle sold the house for peanuts and divided the cash between themselves - my father pocketed some $20,000 from the sale. At the time this occurred I was living rough in the street and had no welfare of money. I have been penniless for much of my life in consequence whilst my parents have enjoyed a fat and wealthy lifestyle on what should have been my money and my home.

2. My great uncle Reginald died. I chose not to go to the funeral. My great uncle Reginald turned out to be the family genealogist. All the family portraits and records - boxes and boxes of them - were at his funeral. Other than the little my mother took, the rest was destroyed. Because I would not grovel to my mother, in a fit of pique, my mother destroyed all the remaining family photos and records about 6 months ago. I do not even have photos of any of my grand parents.

AND ALL BECAUSE I MISSED TWO DAMN FUNERALS.

Yes, you go for the ones who are still here and for yourself. remember we are a soul having a in-body experience here for just a blink in time. Go and comfort each other. I am sorry about the loss of your friend.

Funerals/visitation are difficult for attendees, but from personal experience, it's worth doing.

I've been both a visitor and family member and as a family member I very much appreciated the friends/coworkers who went out of their way for me.

You'll feel good about yourself if you go.

Always i guess it is True even tough dis shield liking parential

I was really close to my grandmother but I couldn't bring myself to go to her visitation. I did attend her funeral which was held the day after. I have no regrets. Personally, I don't want a visitation when I pass and I've told my husband that. It creeps me out to think about people lining up to gawk at me just laying there.