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Existential Crisis?

 
Doge
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User ID: 66243844
United States
02/19/2015 11:21 PM
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Existential Crisis?
Sometimes I want to just run away. My life feels like an old worn out pair of shoes that fit too tight and are coming apart at the soles, uncomfortable and embarassing. Like I’ve already missed the boat yet I keep lying and trying to fool myself into believing that better days are still around the corner and that I haven’t missed my opportunity for good things to come back around.

For those who get the analogy, it feels like when you’re playing those old school RPG’S and you get stuck on one of the dungeon levels because you fucked up one of the puzzles that was supposed to reveal one of those treasure chests that had that last room key you needed for that locked door so now there’s no way you can move forward so now all you can do is restart at a previous saving point. But in life there are no restarts, there are no saving points, just the same mistakes staring you in the face with no way of moving forward so you just settle in and try your best to get comfortable in the grave you’ve already dug for yourself.

All you can do is wait out the days, try to get by as best you can and hope that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be the day you can finally move on and go back home.

Emptiness, non attachment, emotional stoicism, freedom from desire – these are your only saving graces in a world of so many blessings that you can taste but never savor, of so many miracles you can hope for but never obtain, of so many visions of brighter tomorrows, bluer skies and greener pastures that will always be on the other side but which you simply cannot ever cross over to.

Yet even these things, these Buddhist and Eastern paths of cessation of Suffering remain elusive because I love too much and too foolishly, I hope too fervently, I crave too insatiably, I dream too dangerously, I hunger too overwhelmingly that my desires and all that i long for become bricks upon bricks, shackles upon shackles, till I’m bound and incarcerated in a prison I fashion myself out of my own hopes and ambitions.

If I could never love at all, if I could simply stop dreaming, cease from craving, give up and let go of pursuing this phantom happiness, I might know true and lasting peace, joy and ultimate fulfillment. Until then I’m restrained by my own desparate yearnings

Last Edited by Doge on 02/19/2015 11:24 PM
"To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I must say he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace."

[link to divisibledefeat.wordpress.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68007890
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02/19/2015 11:22 PM
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Re: Existential Crisis?
spock
Dace

User ID: 950249
Puerto Rico
02/19/2015 11:23 PM
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Re: Existential Crisis?
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.
cheers
Doge  (OP)

User ID: 66243844
United States
02/19/2015 11:25 PM
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Re: Existential Crisis?
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.
cheers
 Quoting: Dace


Lol if only.

peace
"To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I must say he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace."

[link to divisibledefeat.wordpress.com]
Doge  (OP)

User ID: 68083669
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02/19/2015 11:26 PM
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Re: Existential Crisis?
spock
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68007890


Spock gets it.
"To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I must say he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace."

[link to divisibledefeat.wordpress.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68138521
United States
02/19/2015 11:26 PM
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Re: Existential Crisis?
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.
cheers
 Quoting: Dace




if you having existential crisis try living for something greater then youself
Doge  (OP)

User ID: 66243844
United States
02/19/2015 11:29 PM
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Re: Existential Crisis?
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.
cheers
 Quoting: Dace




if you having existential crisis try living for something greater then youself
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68138521


I get the idea but the problem is I am so vastly insignificant that just about ANYTHING is greater than myself. I need to narrow down my options.

That song is pretty rad though.
"To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I must say he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace."

[link to divisibledefeat.wordpress.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68007890
United States
02/19/2015 11:38 PM
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Re: Existential Crisis?
spock
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68007890


Spock gets it.
 Quoting: Doge


You made my day.


spock
Doge  (OP)

User ID: 66243844
United States
02/19/2015 11:42 PM
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Re: Existential Crisis?
spock
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68007890


Spock gets it.
 Quoting: Doge


You made my day.


spock
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68007890


I'm glad.
"To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I must say he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace."

[link to divisibledefeat.wordpress.com]





GLP