The VOID

Sadly, I guess I’ve really never been connected to nature in that way. Never enough to notice stuff like that. Like all rewarding experiences, sometimes failure can make success more meaningful.

Yesterday was the first day it actually felt like fall here. We're in a drought. Crops are horrible. And a let up, was only the low 70s. I did watch the temp drop to 69 last night but that was it. Today it's back in the 80s. This is crap. I hate the humidity. I can't wait to leave here. This is something I won't miss. Ever. I don't care how much snow I have to walk through. How many blizzards. How many sunless days. Anything is better than what I've experienced here. I say that now and expect to have a shock once I'm no longer in this climate but I know how to layer clothes so I think I'm gonna be just fine. Lol

Yesterday was the first day it actually felt like fall here. We're in a drought. Crops are horrible. And a let up, was only the low 70s. I did watch the temp drop to 69 last night but that was it. Today it's back in the 80s. This is crap. I hate the humidity. I can't wait to leave here. This is something I won't miss. Ever. I don't care how much snow I have to walk through. How many blizzards. How many sunless days. Anything is better than what I've experienced here. I say that now and expect to have a shock once I'm no longer in this climate but I know how to layer clothes so I think I'm gonna be just fine. Lol

I grew up with what seemed like a huge backyard..but really was just an oversized lot. My mom always had an extensive garden and orchard. We had everything.. Apple, peaches, strawberries, blueberries, pears, beans, corn, grapes, carrots, tomatoes etc.

I spent many a lazy Summer days, snapping green beans into a big silver bowl. My mom was a prolific canner and canned all the veggies, fruits, and made jams, and leathers, to store over the Winter.

My mom was a prepper. But did it subtly.

I knew why..

What was her reason?

That’s a vivid description. My mother always had a blooming and beautiful garden as well, although it was mainly flowers. I never got into growing anything though. When I moved out my mom gave me a couple succulents as a gift. They all died.

“It’s all in the name”
Spelled out in the seed of the fixed center

(“today is a Royal Wedding”
Really? Just get the ritual over with cuz...
I can’t stand dog-and-pony shows)

I might as well be Atlas for this level of “sad”
It’s like I’m drawing a collective inbreath for every tragedy that ever was and soon to come, both personal and trans personal
It’s one big sigh right now: my being: a sigh.
I made someone sad last night.
I am a sad little lamp.

The black moon itself...that is me.
The shadow of Golgotha.
My face is burning.
It....unclean

Why does it hurt to exist?

When glp had the tinychat there were a lot of penises
Thats what human nature wanted to do; show themselves masturbating
That can be our avatar as a species, one creepy dick moaning, “ohyeah”
And broadcasting itself everywhere
The evolutionary impulse (in a nutshell).
Fun/funny

The name “semiramis” appears in my mind
It’s Queen Babylon
“Recondite” - hidden or not well understood topic
I guess Babylon is one of those

Yeah, well...
I’m still here.
What’s a “Luz”?
Another brain ploop:
“I write sins not tragedies”, panic at the disco

Now imagining all the people I have shut out of my existence...
Harkens back to the absolute...ah...?
...
Futility. Yes, that one.

Bullet, meet foot. Bam bam bam.
Over and over again. I just keep fucking myself .

“I was what happened in the moment I became possible”

I sometimes think about what my invisible audience will one day mythicize lol
I guess you could see genius in just about anything if you squint...

When you have participated in a Grand Illusion
You become a real skeptic of the miraculous.

(My back hurts
My body hurts
I’m sad)
“The machinations of godlike pretenders”...
As the British Royals marry in a new fish to the family and for some reason the internet wants to care
Face. Still. Hurts. Itchy.

“Kill it with fire”: the essential human attitude.

What state are you in?
I COMPLETELY feel the same about Cali btw

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Do you guys get the humidity? I thought Cali was more of a dry heat. It's much different without humidity I've been told, bearable. But in the humidity your body can't go through the cool down process because of the sweat on top of the hot moist air around you. It kills people in the summers around here, kids drop dead during football practices and other outdoor recreations. Then a few years ago we experienced a blizzard. Atlanta was not prepared at all. It iced the roads so bad. It was a disaster. I think they declared state of emergency. People were stranded on the interstates. The vehicles were sliding all over the place. Many wrecks. One woman ended up having her baby in the car because she couldn't get to the hospital. They named her Grace. Or Mercy. Something like that.

NONE of those old files are on the hard drive I thought they’d be on.
I’m freaking out. My mom is going to check my old computers when she gets home but I’m running out of time.
Do I contact the people from creative matters and tell them the files will be late and to reschedule our meeting on Tuesday?
I don’t know...
However by scrounging through the completely unusable writings from the past couple years, I did find some interesting stuff I may post here

We don’t have humidity, true.
And humidity does make a huge difference.
I spent two weeks in florida this summer. Central Florida. It was utterly unbearable! I don’t know how people stand it! X.x

I like it. It's pretty dark..but dark is okay too, depending on what impression you are looking to make.

Reminds..


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Yesterday was the first day it actually felt like fall here. We're in a drought. Crops are horrible. And a let up, was only the low 70s. I did watch the temp drop to 69 last night but that was it. Today it's back in the 80s. This is crap. I hate the humidity. I can't wait to leave here. This is something I won't miss. Ever. I don't care how much snow I have to walk through. How many blizzards. How many sunless days. Anything is better than what I've experienced here. I say that now and expect to have a shock once I'm no longer in this climate but I know how to layer clothes so I think I'm gonna be just fine. Lol

Orlando area is one of the worst. Like, compared to how bad it is where I live. That place is a literal Hell. And it's like that all year there. Years ago we went to Disney and I swear it was the worst Christmas of my life. I am being slightly dramatic but no it was absolutely disgusting. I cried AT the park because of how bad it was. Pop up downpours and I spent so much time on my hair that day. I'd had enough and totally lost it. That was the worst Christmas vacation of my life.

I think you should show them your "creative writing". Blog posts. Like what matched the speech you gave. I could tell they all really liked it. I hope she finds your writings in time. If you feel you aren't prepared reschedule but I think you should go with what you have in front of you. Worst case scenario you find your writings at a later date but at least they have a chance to see your diverse writing style and creativity.

End times.. of course. We went to church, that is just 'part of it'. Or at least the threat of. I can imagine how scary that would be, to consider your children might go hungry.


Our pantry was alway stacked jars deep and 10 feet across with all that above.

She stewed the tomatoes and made sauce. She didn't remove the skins though and they would roll up into these little spiky tomato things that were pretty unpleasant. My brother and I still talk about the tomato spikes..

First world problems.

The four-minute warning was a public alert system conceived by the British Government during the Cold War and operated between 1953 and 1992.

Morning

Good morning.

I just saw this meme..it's a hotpot. :P

You are much hotter
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I love that

Super cute. Are you working today?

Probably yes. I have a tray of rings to turn I made last week and probably at least one more. Haven't decided what I'm gonna make though.

That sounds fun. A project for today?
I’m still freaking out about these writing pieces. Unhealthily stressed right now.