Wow. Thanks for showing me. I'm super confused right now. At complete war with myself. I'm desperate to continue and to stop. I dont know why the fuck this is happening. I feel like I'm possesed. I cant understand it at all. What is driving this and why it doesn't go away. I'm so pissed for being so honest and so amazed at how much you care and how much the people at beit tshuvah care. There is literally no reason for them to try so hard to keep me there unless they honestly give a shit. It's not about money or anything for them they just care. It's so confusing but it makes me feel loved and it makes the demon in me furious. What the fuck is this demon? Why does it continue trying to destroy me everytime I get close to health and happiness? WHY?