I just need some of this to be real and I can explain away the rest. If none of it is real, then I have been out of my mind for seven years due to an overactive brain. And this is my own form of therapy.

I know I said I was found out, but if this isn't real then there's nothing to find out and I'm being paranoid.

Now, while I would bet my life that it is real, I am still supposed to be surprised if it is.

At the same time, I can't explain away your replacement, I am supposed to think that that's real by some medical marvel. Why her and no one else is because even if we were both deluded, coincedence doesn't explain that. But if it's real then she must have something wrong with her.

In reality I am I guess confused as to what exactly I think. This doesn't surprise me given my circumstances.