I have found that the "gentle people" are really people who have not had real life strike them in the face over and over so have just not developed strategies for survivial in the real world.

Their parents and or servants protected them then their husband (normally) protected them or they joined a cult or church who protected them.

For the rest of us unprotected people suffering real life we have found you don't have to be mean and try to hurt people but you certainly develop certain techniques for survivial around the mean and overbearing folks.