As always thank you everyone for the prayers.

Yesterday was a dark day for me and today is better, but I am still upset. I am not as bad as yesterday.

Yesterday, all I could think of was my children. How the last time I saw them and how my boy came up and gave me one of the biggest hugs he has ever given me in a long time. So for the record I have not seen my children since July 9th. I was still recovering from my HA then. I was unable to drive, but made it a point to see my kids and drove over to see them. We talked that day for just under 3 hours.

It was when I was leaving that my son came out after I already said goodbye to both of them and hugged each. I was out the door and walking to the car. He came out and said Dad. I turned around and he told me that me that he loved me. Then he gave me the biggest and strongest hug I have ever gotten.

Yesterday that is all I could think of. That and how I have not heard from either my daughter or son. I send texts daily in the morning and evening to each of them to no response.

I guess I was just not able to let go of being upset because it symbolizes defeat. I tried to give god the pain, but it did not seem to help. I tried to do this and trust HIM to take it over. I know that I should trust that He can secure the victory over that and my strength should come from GOD, but I was having such a hard time with letting go.

Today, I have given this pain to HIM and am trusting HIM to secure that victory that I could not get to yesterday.

Health, I am down 49 pounds. I went from 236 to 187. Little weak. Been eating/drinking a lot of bone broth. I am also trying to do some exercises to help maintain my muscles. I can not do too much as it just eats me up.


I have a deposition on Thursday next week. My attorney is going to depose her and her attorney is going to depose me. I am praying that all goes well for this and we can gather some information on her thinking. Our hearing for temp orders is on the 30th. I can pray that it goes my way and I can actually get to see the children.

Fluffy, you are in my prayers for healing. Get yourself an IR pad. It will help. it helped me when I dislocated my shoulder and tore/stretched ligaments.