Being a nice guy can actually make you look like an asshole

I admit, I'm a nice guy. I'm the kind of guy that is friendly to everyone, I treat everyone with respect. I am a people pleaser and will please others before myself. I put others above myself because I feel that in doing so, it'll make me friends.

I'm too nice, to the point that I'm scared to say no. In my mind, the word "no" or saying "I can't" is associated with being negative, so I fear saying either of those will make people mad. So I tend to always say yes, because in that moment saying yes, makes the other person happy even though in reality, saying yet wasn't an option and I'd end up having to back out of whatever I said yes to.

That leads me to this... being a nice guy can make you look like an asshole. Because I'm scared to say no, I say yes to doing this or that even though I know I can't commit to doing it. In the end, I'm the asshole because I said yes, and didn't live up to that commitment.

It's entirely my fault, because saying no scares the crap out of me because I fear making someone upset. But at the same time, saying yes to something and then not following through makes me look even worse.

Maybe I'm just a horrible person, I don't know. Because of this, two of my best friends are pissed at me, and it is entirely my fault for being a "yes" man. Depression this time of year sucks, but sucks even worse when my best friends are pissed at me because of my own problem.

What sucks, it's hard to explain to them how my brain ticks... it's not an excuse, it's just how my brain works. It sucks.