Needed , tip on being an asshole

See Brief

Too vague. Start reacting like he is crazy all the time.

You have to get drunk, and you will become an asshole.

Be condescending and always right. Make sure you always point out his flaws while reinforcing your strength's. Learn the art of word manipulation so you can twist his own words against him.

Actually fuck that, be yourself and if anyone doesn't like it tell them to fuck off.

!

Come on girl... just cut him off.

I'm not saying to hold your "you know what" hostage... just tell him he isn't getting any and why... within reason, and follow through. It works on me when I'm an asshole.

We don't mean to be assholes, it's what we do... sometimes we need to be put in place.

You can't learn it. It's either in ya or it isn't.

Exactly. If you try it will just be embarrassing. Find another route to victory.

im sure you are a great asshole and you just dont know it.

Don't do it

There is room for only one asshole

Perhaps instead of you trying to become an asshole you should try to help him stop being one? Moving out and threatening to divorce him can often cure a case of assholishness.

Your attitude precedes you/

I'm guessing you're female. I always thought it came naturally to y'all.

When you are having sex with your man, yell out another man's name as you orgasm.

They really hate that.
Lol

Buy some itching powder.
Put in the crotch of his clean folded underware.

:swiftlol:

Clean under the rim of the toilet with his toothbrush.

That is actually really funny and I am a man ... You should do this

get drunk and tell him everything you hate about him

that should work

My dad could have taught you how to be a world class asshole. I sure wish he was still around. You just don't have enough good assholes anymore. The kind who intimidate their way through life and actively scare people to get what they want. That's the kind of man my dad was.

But, seriously, you are going to have to hold your ground and give him hell. These assholes are probably not going to be beat by their own game, but you have to make it so unpleasant for them to play that their butthole puckers at the thought.

Cut off the pussy. That's a start. Second, start talking to God out loud at night for 3 or 4 hours. Scream and yell and cuss some while you're in there. That's what I did.

Stop helping him. Watch him flounder in his own useless inability to accomplish a damn thing. Keep this up much longer than it seems necessary to do.

Quit cleaning house. This is a protest that may or may not work depending on how much of a pig he is. My husband barely noticed when I quit cleaning house.

Start attacking him. Sure, you might go to jail for sissy hitting the dirtbag, but believe me, it's the most effective protest so far. If you are attacking them, they know you are pissed. You will get hurt because they will hurt you. Make sure you are crazy enough for this step because like I said, you are going to get slapped and hit and threatened. They can't tolerate the woman getting physically aggressive. Even my 12 year-old Iron Man wannabe 44 year-old will throw me on the ground and sit on me trying to suffocate me. Like I said, this needs to be last resort. I have had to resort to it and I think that he understands it, but be ready cause they will think you are crazy when you start this. They can't for the life of them understand what they might be doing to you that would make you start attacking them. Also be prepared for them to take the victim stance and say that you are the abuser. They will probably gas light the shit out of you.

Don't really hurt him. Just slap him and hit him with your arms. They will act like you are the craziest bitch they have ever seen, but when I want to be heard, I pull this chestnut out and shine it off. They hear violence. They understand that. You can talk and talk until you are blue in the face, but if you aren't willing to get violent, they are just going to ignore your ass.

I only spent one night in jail. He had to pay the fine. He thought he was going to win the argument by calling the cops and instead, he lost the whole war. One night in jail isn't too bad, if you are eventually going to have victory.

So, that's my story from the trenches. I hope that you are fortunate and as crazy as I am. I can't afford to lose these battles, but I was severely emotionally abused as a child, so all of these things are definitely on the table for me. I know you are probably a decent girl. Maybe you think this shit is over the top. Don't blame you. It's just when they start to fuck with you to where you are having to take psych meds just to function, you need other weapons in your arsenal to get the to back the fuck off.

Good luck and may God be with you.

Last Edited by BunBun on 02/13/2016 06:58 PM

you can't learn to be one.

it takes a lifetime of earning the title.

for most of us, it just comes natural.