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George Carlin Appreciation thread

 
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George Carlin Appreciation thread
Post your favorite George Carlin videos, Quotes, Meme..




ramblings, rants, news, ephemera, and stuff
101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes

George Carlin

The man who once said “life is worth losing” is dead. But his quotes live on. best…

I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?

I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American — you know, you grow.

You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.

There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread

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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
“If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.”

“I don’t like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: “Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you: ‘There is no “I” in team.’ What you should tell them is: ‘Maybe not. But there is an “I” in independence, individuality, and integrity.'”

“I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking. And apparently I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”

“I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. … These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
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03/28/2016 01:07 PM
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71609526


Haha, that's a good one
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03/28/2016 01:17 PM
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
RIP.




[link to youtu.be (secure)]

He was what you call a real Greek.
Hingle McCringleberry
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Isaiah 40:31 - But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

“They’ve got us surrounded again, the poor bastards.” - U.S. Army Paratrooper at Bastogne
Hingle McCringleberry
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread

Isaiah 40:31 - But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

“They’ve got us surrounded again, the poor bastards.” - U.S. Army Paratrooper at Bastogne
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread

Say When!
Vaellene

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03/28/2016 03:16 PM

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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
he sucked
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
he sucked
 Quoting: Vaellene


Thanks for your intelligent input.
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
he sucked
 Quoting: Vaellene


Are you Georges ghost because that is exactly what he would say if he could communicate from the dead.
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
Its good to be the King because you never have to say,

Hey wait up.
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03/29/2016 03:53 AM
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
He was a legend in his own time.
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03/29/2016 03:56 AM
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
Trump-Nugent 2016

God, Family, Country....making America great.

"Whatever luck I had, I made, I was never a natural athlete, but I paid my dues in sweat and concentration and took the time necessary to learn karate and become world champion." -Chuck Norris
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god- I really tried. I really really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize...something is FUCKED-UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good work. If this is the best god can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have been out on his all-powerful-ass a long time ago.

George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased".
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
Trillions and trillions of prayers every day asking and begging and pleading for favors. 'Do this' 'Gimme that' 'I want a new car' 'I want a better job'. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday. And I say fine, pray for anything you want. Pray for anything. But...what about the divine plan? Remember that? The divine plan. Long time ago god made a divine plan. Gave it a lot of thought. Decided it was a good plan. Put it into practice. And for billion and billions of years the divine plan has been doing just fine. Now you come along and pray for something. Well, suppose the thing you want isn't in god's divine plan. What do you want him to do? Change his plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a divine plan. What's the use of being god if every run-down schmuck with a two dollar prayer book can come along and fuck up your plan? And here's something else, another problem you might have; suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? 'Well it's god's will. God's will be done.' Fine, but if it gods will and he's going to do whatever he wants to anyway; why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me. Couldn't you just skip the praying part and get right to his will?

[George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased".]
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Two reasons; first of all, I think he's a good actor. Ok. To me, that counts. Second; he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. Doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that god was having trouble with. For years I asked god to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog. Joe Pesci straightened that cock-sucker out with one visit.
[George Carlin, from "You Are All Diseased".]

Last Edited by Doc_Holiday on 03/31/2016 04:14 PM
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ShitWeasel

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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
Right time for this one too (voting):
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03/31/2016 05:43 PM
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
The late great George Carling. ... Truly a one off , unique.
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
Trojan
rip
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
Im a big Carlin fan, I have all his shows on my computer and listen to them quite often.

He was truly a genius and ahead of his time for sure.

5 stars and a ...
bump
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
Im a big Carlin fan, I have all his shows on my computer and listen to them quite often.

He was truly a genius and ahead of his time for sure.

5 stars and a ...
bump
 Quoting: The_Master


A Genius for sure, Thanks for the bump!

RIP George!
Say When!
Nikola Tesla

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03/31/2016 06:03 PM
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
I just want to say that George Carlin was great. In his monologues he would cut through the BS and say was was really happening; about any particular subject. He was also objective about his findings.

Like this "Bullshit is Everywhere".

Very true.

I won't clog up the system with a bunch of his videos, I'll leave it for others to post those.

They are all my favorites.

clappa
"One person with courage is a majority." - Thomas Jefferson

"You’ve heard that we are what we eat. But we also are what we think".

“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views."
-William F. Buckley Jr.
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
he hit on a lot of "conspiracies", but nothing major
Nikola Tesla

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03/31/2016 09:08 PM
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
Im a big Carlin fan, I have all his shows on my computer and listen to them quite often.

He was truly a genius and ahead of his time for sure.

5 stars and a ...
bump
 Quoting: The_Master


bump
"One person with courage is a majority." - Thomas Jefferson

"You’ve heard that we are what we eat. But we also are what we think".

“Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views."
-William F. Buckley Jr.
Anonymous Coward
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03/27/2017 04:00 PM
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
RIP.




[link to youtu.be (secure)]

He was what you call a real Greek.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71903154


hf
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
- GEORGE CARLIN -
I Kinda Like It When a Lotta People Die

It was suppose to come out a few days after 9/11...
Worth listening to if you're a fan.

Boston Rant from 1957
Rats and Squealers
Cocaine
The Fecal Differential
Tired of Songs
The First Enema
Uncle Dave
I Kinda Like It When a Lotta People Die ( 6-23-2001 )
Jerry Hamza Interview
Rocco Urbisci Interview
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Re: George Carlin Appreciation thread
Here's an oldie but goodie, silly fun with an adult twist.

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]





GLP