I was sitting around the other day admiring how big my nuts are, when I came to the conclusion that they are somewhere between fairly giant and super giant. It's like I have a pair of Jupitors dangling between my legs. Of course, you have to have a pretty big pair to be me. The last nine or ten false readings in graviton wave detectors have been due to the gravity field of my nards. They're just under critical mass, a few inches away from collapsing into a super dense vortex of nutsaqautron (a type of radiation given off by enormous balls). I don't even have an office chair anymore.. I just sit around on my nuts. People come over to my house, and they think I'm just sitting on a giant flesh colored bean bag. I once took a bullet right in the nads just to prove how tough I am, but the bullet ricocheted off of a pube and hit some kid in the face. I almost felt bad for the kid, but he had it coming. No one can step to my nuts. My ex girlfriend was bitching at me one day, so I tossed my nuts at her. BAM. Knocked the whore out cold. The best tea baggin' she ever received, and I wasn't even trying.