The Anti-Messiah is the woman who teaches the world to save themselves | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 6475186 United States 05/22/2016 07:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | its more like stimuli for you no longer gets filtered at sensory gates. it all gets funneled! lol Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11688366 [link to www.horseconfidence4u.co.uk] What I know is they will break your body down but it is not intent, their intent is communication and they will keep trying till you get it or it kills you, that is what I know. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 11688366 United States 05/22/2016 07:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 11688366 United States 05/22/2016 07:41 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 6475186 United States 05/22/2016 07:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 11688366 United States 05/22/2016 07:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 23740678 United States 05/22/2016 07:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | its more like stimuli for you no longer gets filtered at sensory gates. it all gets funneled! lol Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11688366 [link to www.horseconfidence4u.co.uk] Uh, I think that's true, but only sometimes. When I get tranced out I see everything at once and don't filter anything out. Well it hasn't happened to me this much in a long time. Like a dam breaking. Up until now, I was doing everything I could to distract myself from invoking myself deeply here and my mind was fixating on any kind of distracting chitter I could find. You could say I was automatically filtering without any kind of control to a very specific ends. It only seems to make sense to me in retrospect. I didn't want to think about mind control anymore, I was trying to focus on things I could control and not memories I can't make sense of and questions I couldn't answer. But then I kept having dreams of "them". Until that phrase got whispered into my mind, then the door opened again. I stopped looking and saw everything. But you can only look for so long before what you see starts to burn you. You know I could have told my coworker I wouldn't cover him. In the beginning of the day I would have wanted my day and a half off. But the state of mind I was in at that moment I was very dissociated and the idea of going home to be left to my own devices was uncomfortable. I wanted the structure of work and being surrounded by video games is very comforting to me. I know the only thing that generally serves to help me connect with reality when I get very dissociated is actually working and helping customers because it forces me not to float off. That's partly why I went back. And yet.... Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 05/22/2016 07:47 PM |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 23740678 United States 05/22/2016 07:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | its more like stimuli for you no longer gets filtered at sensory gates. it all gets funneled! lol Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11688366 [link to www.horseconfidence4u.co.uk] What I know is they will break your body down but it is not intent, their intent is communication and they will keep trying till you get it or it kills you, that is what I know. When you come back, could you tell me more about what they are trying to communicate or achieve with communication? |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 11688366 United States 05/22/2016 08:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | you must have had an undiagnosis propensity for childhood autism. drug abuse probably had a double sword edge effect for you. on one side it probably brought you out of your shell and on the other side it reinforced the propensity. when you curbed your drug intake an imbalance occurred. the lack of filtering becomes predominant. your videogame addiction is a retreat into autistic tendencies! lol |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 23740678 United States 05/22/2016 08:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | you must have had an undiagnosis propensity for childhood autism. drug abuse probably had a double sword edge effect for you. on one side it probably brought you out of your shell and on the other side it reinforced the propensity. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11688366 when you curbed your drug intake an imbalance occurred. the lack of filtering becomes predominant. your videogame addiction is a retreat into autistic tendencies! lol I don't play video games that often , and I certainly don't have autism. I am easily distracted, though. |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 05/23/2016 01:28 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Before I fell asleep my mind played a trick on me. I guess it was a hypnogogic hallucination or something like that. But I heard an actual voice that startled me awake as I was trying to fall asleep, it sounded like it was whispering in my ear, "diamond awake". What's odd is that I'm used to speaking to inner voices, like my daemon, but not hearing literal voices - that basically never happens to me. But this very much sounded like a voice. I had a very disturbed sleep. Partly it's because I've come down with some sort of cold, and I kept waking up because I needed a tissue, now it's in my throat as well and my eyes. So sleep was restless and I couldn't fall asleep until like 3:00am at least. Even later. And another of the weird hypnogogic hallucinations happened outside of dreaming when I woke up once. It was the image of this door slamming shut. I guess I can compare it to that time that I saw the 'video feed' in my brain that just clicked off and went dark. It was very real and not dreamlike. What I do recall of last night's dream.. Dreamed of this job I am at right now actually. There was a magic competition going on. You had to score points for doing neat tricks. My team in this strange game was led by a dude who looked like ozzy ozborne. he did a trick with confetti glitter but I found him choking on the confetti sometime later and I had to help him spit it back up. My coworker at this odd job where I don't do a whole lot is a person who I apparently have known since I was a baby. He had his mom in for a second once and she asked me how I was doing and how grown up I look now. And she told me she'd known me since I was a very young child and she was my godmother's sister. I thought her and my coworker were pulling my leg at first, like fucking with me. But they weren't. It's literally just a coincidence of some kind that we happen to work together now. Well he's 27 and they diagnosed him with sociopathy when he was in prison. Truthfully though I've never really believed him to be sociopathic. I think he's actually a good person. But he was in my dream on my magic team. I walked in on him hanging some man in a black suit by his red tie. I was really perplexed. It apparently had something to do with winning the competition. I guess it's like one of those intense mafia things. |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 05/23/2016 01:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I spent a lot of hours researching some of the codes that showed up on my file. They had me on the highest possible emergency alert when they admitted me. Literally the highest possible one. But I don't remember it being so dramatic. My coworker invited me out to see Captain America: Civil War with him last night at like 9:40 or so. At that point I'd been looking at my own files and googling shit for hours and I figured I should probably get away from it. I watched the movie but I don't remember seeing anything of it really. I was watching but my mind was totally elsewhere. I also had probably one of the worst headaches of all time. It wasn't that it was hard to sit through either. I just wasn't really 'there'. We got sent to our house, maybe at the beginning of this month, a flyer for a prescreening of the new Alice in Wonderland on the 26th of May at the El Capitan. I bought a ticket today. The thought of driving into LA by myself is a little concerning but I feel like it'll be worth it. Of course it ought to be thought of as a coincidence that Disney sent one to us. It's not like it's an exclusive event. Not like we get flyers for prescreenings sent to our house all the time either, and certainly it's a strange coincidence that the one time we did get such a flyer it happens to be that particular movie, the one for which I've got the trailer memorized by heart because the blue butterfly in the first few seconds nearly gave me a heart attack the first time I watched it. Well maybe it's...predictive advertising? Maybe They noticed I'd seen the trailer so many times they decided to send an ad out... It'll be weird sitting on the balcony of a theater in la watching that movie by myself...but I don't think I can convince any friends to join me on such short notice and part of me thinks it would be an interesting adventure to see it by myself...I dunno.... //*rambling*.... |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 11688366 United States 05/23/2016 01:53 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Before I fell asleep my mind played a trick on me. I guess it was a hypnogogic hallucination or something like that. But I heard an actual voice that startled me awake as I was trying to fall asleep, it sounded like it was whispering in my ear, "diamond awake". What's odd is that I'm used to speaking to inner voices, like my daemon, but not hearing literal voices - that basically never happens to me. But this very much sounded like a voice. Quoting: Kaylii I had a very disturbed sleep. Partly it's because I've come down with some sort of cold, and I kept waking up because I needed a tissue, now it's in my throat as well and my eyes. So sleep was restless and I couldn't fall asleep until like 3:00am at least. Even later. And another of the weird hypnogogic hallucinations happened outside of dreaming when I woke up once. It was the image of this door slamming shut. I guess I can compare it to that time that I saw the 'video feed' in my brain that just clicked off and went dark. It was very real and not dreamlike. What I do recall of last night's dream.. Dreamed of this job I am at right now actually. There was a magic competition going on. You had to score points for doing neat tricks. My team in this strange game was led by a dude who looked like ozzy ozborne. he did a trick with confetti glitter but I found him choking on the confetti sometime later and I had to help him spit it back up. My coworker at this odd job where I don't do a whole lot is a person who I apparently have known since I was a baby. He had his mom in for a second once and she asked me how I was doing and how grown up I look now. And she told me she'd known me since I was a very young child and she was my godmother's sister. I thought her and my coworker were pulling my leg at first, like fucking with me. But they weren't. It's literally just a coincidence of some kind that we happen to work together now. Well he's 27 and they diagnosed him with sociopathy when he was in prison. Truthfully though I've never really believed him to be sociopathic. I think he's actually a good person. But he was in my dream on my magic team. I walked in on him hanging some man in a black suit by his red tie. I was really perplexed. It apparently had something to do with winning the competition. I guess it's like one of those intense mafia things. you envision your coworker as pliable. you feel with a little tlc from yourself, you can use his sociopathic tendencies to your advantage. it falls into line with your mind control/handler interest. you probably feel that youre prepared to take the plunge and practice what you have learned. your dark nature is right at the surface! lol |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 05/23/2016 01:55 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 11688366 United States 05/23/2016 02:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 05/23/2016 02:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Nice interpretation, there is really nothing violent or sadistic about me. masochistic certainly.but I was born like that I guess Quoting: Kaylii in your case, a masochist is nothing more than a dominatrix in waiting! lol You know a dominatrix is the opposite of a masochist right? I couldn't be a dominatrix if you paid me up the zoinkers. I just don't have the nature for it. I'm a sub. |
Sol-tari
User ID: 47939715 Australia 05/23/2016 02:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Nice interpretation, there is really nothing violent or sadistic about me. masochistic certainly.but I was born like that I guess Quoting: Kaylii in your case, a masochist is nothing more than a dominatrix in waiting! lol You know a dominatrix is the opposite of a masochist right? I couldn't be a dominatrix if you paid me up the zoinkers. I just don't have the nature for it. I'm a sub. couldnt resist *Glitches May Occur. Consume(D) At Own Risk |
snaggle_poo
User ID: 71053798 United States 05/23/2016 02:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Nice interpretation, there is really nothing violent or sadistic about me. masochistic certainly.but I was born like that I guess Quoting: Kaylii in your case, a masochist is nothing more than a dominatrix in waiting! lol You know a dominatrix is the opposite of a masochist right? I couldn't be a dominatrix if you paid me up the zoinkers. I just don't have the nature for it. I'm a sub. couldnt resist hahaha I LOVE red vs. Blue... not after Halo2 though, but I didn't play Halo 3 much or any thereafter.. stupid xbox.. Last Edited by snaggle_poo on 05/23/2016 02:28 PM I like to twitch, but they call it spam.. so no linky. |
Sol-tari
User ID: 47939715 Australia 05/23/2016 02:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Anonymous Coward 11688366 in your case, a masochist is nothing more than a dominatrix in waiting! lol You know a dominatrix is the opposite of a masochist right? I couldn't be a dominatrix if you paid me up the zoinkers. I just don't have the nature for it. I'm a sub. couldnt resist hahaha I LOVE red vs. Blue... not after Halo2 though, but I didn't play Halo 3 much or any thereafter.. stupid xbox.. reach was the last i played, xbox died still crack at ps3 now and then. outta game loop for a while now *Glitches May Occur. Consume(D) At Own Risk |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 05/23/2016 02:40 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Kaylii You know a dominatrix is the opposite of a masochist right? I couldn't be a dominatrix if you paid me up the zoinkers. I just don't have the nature for it. I'm a sub. couldnt resist hahaha I LOVE red vs. Blue... not after Halo2 though, but I didn't play Halo 3 much or any thereafter.. stupid xbox.. reach was the last i played, xbox died still crack at ps3 now and then. outta game loop for a while now Overwatch coming out today , getting it very cheap at Gamestop once I'm off work today , I think it'll be pretty fun. Red VS Blue is a pretty funny show |
snaggle_poo
User ID: 71053798 United States 05/23/2016 02:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | hahaha I LOVE red vs. Blue... not after Halo2 though, but I didn't play Halo 3 much or any thereafter.. stupid xbox.. reach was the last i played, xbox died still crack at ps3 now and then. outta game loop for a while now Overwatch coming out today , getting it very cheap at Gamestop once I'm off work today , I think it'll be pretty fun. Red VS Blue is a pretty funny show I played the beta of overwatch and it was awesome.. unless your team decides they all want to do whatever they want.. then it sucks.. I played zenyatta the grenade lobbing pascifist healer.. it was great.. I just started Destiny, and I have to say, it's surprisingly fun.. Last Edited by snaggle_poo on 05/23/2016 02:44 PM I like to twitch, but they call it spam.. so no linky. |
snaggle_poo
User ID: 71053798 United States 05/23/2016 02:44 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 05/23/2016 02:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: snaggle_poo hahaha I LOVE red vs. Blue... not after Halo2 though, but I didn't play Halo 3 much or any thereafter.. stupid xbox.. reach was the last i played, xbox died still crack at ps3 now and then. outta game loop for a while now Overwatch coming out today , getting it very cheap at Gamestop once I'm off work today , I think it'll be pretty fun. Red VS Blue is a pretty funny show I played the beta of overwatch and it was awesome.. unless your team decides they all want to do whatever they want.. then it sucks.. I played zenyatta the grenade lobbing pascifist healer.. it was great.. I just started Destiny, and I have to say, it's surprisingly fun.. Yes, destiny was a very good game. Lots of little occult easter eggs thrown in there too. |
snaggle_poo
User ID: 71053798 United States 05/23/2016 02:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
snaggle_poo
User ID: 71053798 United States 05/23/2016 02:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Sol-tari reach was the last i played, xbox died still crack at ps3 now and then. outta game loop for a while now Overwatch coming out today , getting it very cheap at Gamestop once I'm off work today , I think it'll be pretty fun. Red VS Blue is a pretty funny show I played the beta of overwatch and it was awesome.. unless your team decides they all want to do whatever they want.. then it sucks.. I played zenyatta the grenade lobbing pascifist healer.. it was great.. I just started Destiny, and I have to say, it's surprisingly fun.. Yes, destiny was a very good game. Lots of little occult easter eggs thrown in there too. yeah, I've had quite a few synchs with it, just in a day.. funny how it happens like that.. I like to twitch, but they call it spam.. so no linky. |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 05/23/2016 02:46 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Yeah, that game looks super duper awesome. My only fear with it is that there won't be anything to do beyond cataloging new species and such. Still though with quadrillions of planets even just walking around aimlessly and having stuff you find named after you for other players to see sounds pretty cool to me. |
Kaylii
(OP) User ID: 70771995 United States 05/23/2016 02:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Kaylii Overwatch coming out today , getting it very cheap at Gamestop once I'm off work today , I think it'll be pretty fun. Red VS Blue is a pretty funny show I played the beta of overwatch and it was awesome.. unless your team decides they all want to do whatever they want.. then it sucks.. I played zenyatta the grenade lobbing pascifist healer.. it was great.. I just started Destiny, and I have to say, it's surprisingly fun.. Yes, destiny was a very good game. Lots of little occult easter eggs thrown in there too. yeah, I've had quite a few synchs with it, just in a day.. funny how it happens like that.. Yeah, seems to be that when it's 'on' it's 'on' lol It's been pretty sync-y for me lately... |
snaggle_poo
User ID: 71053798 United States 05/23/2016 02:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Yeah, that game looks super duper awesome. My only fear with it is that there won't be anything to do beyond cataloging new species and such. Still though with quadrillions of planets even just walking around aimlessly and having stuff you find named after you for other players to see sounds pretty cool to me. that was my fear too, but I think there is more to it from the gameplay I've watched.. I mean, why carry a gun if you don't need it? it can't just be to irritate the natives.. I like to twitch, but they call it spam.. so no linky. |
snaggle_poo
User ID: 71053798 United States 05/23/2016 02:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: snaggle_poo I played the beta of overwatch and it was awesome.. unless your team decides they all want to do whatever they want.. then it sucks.. I played zenyatta the grenade lobbing pascifist healer.. it was great.. I just started Destiny, and I have to say, it's surprisingly fun.. Yes, destiny was a very good game. Lots of little occult easter eggs thrown in there too. yeah, I've had quite a few synchs with it, just in a day.. funny how it happens like that.. Yeah, seems to be that when it's 'on' it's 'on' lol It's been pretty sync-y for me lately... I read about that.. didn't want to rehash what you already talked about, but yeah.. I like to twitch, but they call it spam.. so no linky. |
snaggle_poo
User ID: 71053798 United States 05/23/2016 02:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Sol-tari
User ID: 47939715 Australia 05/23/2016 02:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ... Quoting: Kaylii Yes, destiny was a very good game. Lots of little occult easter eggs thrown in there too. yeah, I've had quite a few synchs with it, just in a day.. funny how it happens like that.. Yeah, seems to be that when it's 'on' it's 'on' lol It's been pretty sync-y for me lately... I read about that.. didn't want to rehash what you already talked about, but yeah.. same with the syncs and what you said snaggle. You make a lot of interestin posts, dont want to rehase em when i catch up *Glitches May Occur. Consume(D) At Own Risk |