Everybody knows that the janitor is the cornerstone

May I make a suggestion? If you don't mind.. you could try organize your experiences into a coherent timeline with beginning to end then extrapolate the missing or gaps, then maybe put/write it all down on paper/document for yourself. Then whenever you are ready, you can talk/discuss about it with whoever you feel very comfortable with.

I've been there... (ofc not exactly as being in your shoes, but you get what I mean) about 5 times (each spans from few weeks to 1 to 3 months if I can recall and from putting it together based on told accounts by ppls).

verbalising can be extremly difficult,
trying to coherently explain something inherently insane


xlegic puts it well,
yet to find answers...
...or more found many but nothing concrete...

but others have shared something, if not your exprience(s),
perhaps whats draws us to such places...?

Victoria Principle

True

Well there are only some times it is worth even talking about. Honestly....I have not gone totally ignored in my pursuit for answers , but sometimes answers, they well. Are not any easier to deal with than questions. Sometimes I struggle with what I already know is true.... but cannot bring myself to accept.... The mind is a funny thing.... When I shake my head and sigh and say, why bother explaining? The ones who understand will stay silent....those who misunderstand will speak as if they do understand...and though I know I am being a bit unfair in assuming, sometimes it truly is unwise to say something aloud .... And gosh you know me I am a fool who will say plenty, but in my foolishness I have also learned that it is prudent to speak to not just people, but the right people....unfortunately, that's not always the same thing as the people you trust the most, or those who love you. Sometimes they are the ones who help the least, and hurt the most. A bitter irony, but one worth remembering

Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 07/14/2016 12:54 PM

Well I'mma be working for awhile...tends to be good for my mind to keep itself occupied and all....
:)

Yes and it can be extremely unpleasant.

Crullers on the other hand, bring just so many smiles to almost if not all chocohazelnuts...salivate furiously aoooah

yes, monitors -electricity -all broadcast waves - combinations working in sync -field generators -field pattern interference -radar mind jamming - note when you are engrossed in a particular thread i.e. your mind is being entrained or focused on the words on the screen, often a frequency becomes more and more dominant the more engrossed you become - then try suddenly interrupting the flow -shut down thread or shift focus rapidly to another thread - and feel the jarring or jolt of a sudden frequency shift. shifting gears - disrupting the field - the skynet hive mind field blanket that was permeating your being
and entraining you, re-aligning you with the digital a.i. pattern-master hive-mind control source -zero.

once one hears it (feels it), recognizes it consciously - it is easy to break out of or even disrupt it consciously - permanently.

it is already beyond repair or recovery (the a.i. control).

8

I think most times the silence is desired by those that wish to remain the control or status quo which requires silence from the masses to enable its functionality and domination.

many ways to do it -scare them into silence -visual/gameplay/symbolic association/threat/trauma - manipulate or dominate into silence/submission -or just confound/confuse -flummox or dead-end the natural responses of -/to question everything always/ - to disagree and therefore formulate alternate lines of thought within leylines and pathways of port - disrupting generated generational mind control patterning in the false 'field' surrounding the natural field. stranded-(double meaning)cocoons around the butterfly instead of the pupae.


imagine if everyone started throwing shoes at people they thought were speaking cartloads of horse manure.
we would need a shitload more shoe factories built in china for a start. shoes would be banned, as would thinking - that is why silence is promoted as 'golden' and white noise is seen as the norm - but the right noise is the uncontrollable 'form'.

formless - not thoughtless - freedom of information - flow -
unlimited - uncapped - untapped - not trapped (pyramid scheme). stone free (jimi hendrix -he knew sum tings mon)

nobody knows who you are! lol

try not to be so pathetic! lol

so many creative threads

It is not about what others know
about one
or others that think they are in the know 'know'
about sum
it is about what oneself knows as oneself
in truth to oneself
that 'voice' that cannot lie
that inner spy
the inner eye
way wey
weightless
endless
awaits
beyond the painted
sky

hi


and sumtimnes - oftentimes - who one knows as well
nevar evar 4get that one........

8 8 8 8

this is going to be a very weird post, and I really don't want to post it, but I feel I have to.

I had a similar dream about a week or two ago about seeing a message on a computer screen. I first could access the message, and it had something to do with 2. 2 what, I really don't know. but then it was like the computer got locked down and there was this pop up blocked window where it wouldn't let me access it anymore. I thought there were two choices at that point, like yes or no or maybe ok or cancel but nothing I could do at that point would allow me back in or to do anything else. It was at that point too that I felt the scene got hijacked and I was lead away to something else to distract me from the monitor. So yeah I've got an idea what that was about although I'm not too sure still.

The same night with that dream I also dreamt I was in a class room. All the windows were closed except for the back one, and so it was pretty dark. There was a podium up front and lots of writing on the board behind it and this guy standing next to it. I tried my best to remember all the words, but there was just too many. Apparently what it contained was something the guy was trying to get me to realize, like this is the reason you had to deliver the message and nobody else. I found the message I think somehow disturbing and tried arguing against accepting it, but eventually realized that he probably was right. What all those words were I don't know, but it seems even though I started to accept them, and close the remaining window to allow nothing to distract me, that's when I was actually distracted and somehow flew out of the window leaving the classroom, whether voluntarily or involuntarily I don't remember.

two more if I could. now just today/last night I had an intense dream that was so clear, and it was in two parts. the first is when I was looking for some girl who's name I won't mention, but couldn't find her, but I pulled myself up to these long tables where I thought she might be where everybody was sitting waiting for their meal. this part is so stupid but the next thing I know there were these crabs that came out sidestepping like they like to walk, positioning themselves in front of every seated guy, I guess to be eaten.

okay so the last one is the one I really don't want to share because it's going to freak you out I'm sure like it did me. I met your mom, how I knew it was her I have no idea. But then I turned fully aware of what was going on, like I was not only omniscient but omnipotent as well, and not in a good way. I felt completely sinister. I then extended my hand, and it was like the force from Star Wars flowing from not a jedi but the evil Emperor, and I directed the energy into the bosom of your mom, lifting her off the ground and it was like I was sucking her soul into a vortex of oblivion. after a while I let her go and she ran into the next room to get away from me. that's about all I can remember, and probably wish to. well actually there are a few more details, but I think this is plenty.

LOL

Wow...that is extremely interesting. Thank you for sharing. Hmm. Do you have any details about my mom? People that you just 'know' are them often do appear in dreams - and not always with the same physical appearance, so my reason for asking is more of , curiosity than anything else.

I have had a few glp dreams. But this thing with the monitor was real. Similarly, it had two choices. I don't remember much else about it. It scares me to think about certain memories. Gives me great anxiety. That is part of why I don't often talk about them. I write privately sometimes about them, but it is nearly impossible to bring myself to reread what I've written. Then, sometimes, something will make it all come flooding back. And it plays like a faulty record in my head, the memories, and I can't make sense of it nor make it stop. I can go long periods of time without it coming up but when it does it often does with a vengeance.

To cope with it I take walks. If it's late at night and I'm trying to sleep and that's when I have to deal with the memories that's the worst though. Because I have to somehow get over it and fall asleep. Sometimes I'll have a little bit of wine or whatever. I really am not huge on alcohol but if there is a dire need it can help.

Well....I don't know. Silence...well...
And I'm not just responding to you anymore, forgive the ramble...everything I've read to this point is really the point of this response. I know I walk a fine line in my mind, between fiction and reality, delusion and memory. But there are some memories which are definitely not delusions. Some facts which are factual under any slant of perspective and due an explanation which I must contrive based on probability. In the best case I can soothe myself into a resignation of what must remain uncertain for me. But sometimes, I remember that I cannot always forget or pretend that my truths were a lie. And when I cannot pretend, that is when I am forced to relive remembering...yet unable, always, to understand...its not always pleasant.

My dreams, too, have been an enormous source of...work, and processing...they have helped my soul work through what my conscious mind can't yet handle, and expose me to the information I need to take my progression step by step. I know that I have stuff hovering and lingering around me that is very, very volatile. It's volatile in the sense that it could emotionally destabilize me, volatile in the sense that it could shatter my paradigm of reality, and volatile in the sense that it may be the most dangerous if any of it is true. I am aware of how volatile these elements could be and I try to be careful about when and if I handle them.

But I have been, prone, to act, on the basis of - strongly embedded feelings. That , I could suppose, have a nebulous origin. Moreover I am aware, that their embedded nature could have a dubious source. I am not always aware where my strong compulsions stem from. And I find those compulsions difficult to unpack or ignore. I feel, that I have been manipulated. By whom, I am not certain. That I have been used, manipulated, in some sense, in some regard, I am relatively certain of that.
That I have control, more control than I should, is something which feels like it may be true as well. But that I am, susceptible, to those whom understand me, in a significant way, I know that I am. And I know I often make it worse on myself.

And.... Well. I should probably leave it there...

Last Edited by Caylus Ark on 07/14/2016 06:00 PM

I don't think it bothers him, but clearly wants to keep it like that, just an observation anyway as I can't speak for him.

I meant that some are blue names, others are ACs, somethimes they're both . Completely agree with the "some people here are using us for something" thesis.

It might be the things you described and something else as well. For quite some time the hatred and negativity consume this site's front page. I often wonder how many shootings and other fuckeries happening in the us were perpetrated by people who come here regularly.

We do circlejerk on this thread, often I might add. But the level of insanity shown on most pinned threads is way over the top and unlikely to be cohincidental. People just generalize everything negative and constantly project on others. Everyone acts like: if you agree with me we're smart, if you don't you're dumb. Threads like this are what this site is worth for.

My suggestion to everyone here is, don't reveal any details you're not confident you can deal with if thrown back at you by a total stranger, and at any possible time/occasion. I don't think we should be inherently distrustful of each other, but everyone should take the silent ones into account. This thread has too many views for the number of people participating.

oh Lord, about sleeping, last night didn't get any sleep at all, up all night, couldn't switch off. I've got in two naps today, was going to hit the hay early if I could. try to take walks too, there's this nice scenic path, at least as close to anything like that around here. but of course 'they' are always out in full force to bug me wherever I go. but whatever.

as far as your mom, I don't have any clear details and none of these I might remember may be true. the room we were in was kind of dark, it was almost as if I was in a dark tower or something, like I was sitting on also a dark chair. don't think it was a throne or anything important or symbolic like that, just that the setting made it hard to see. but the impression I get of her was that she was on the little side, a little feisty, but those details I'm sure I put together from your words already, not any special thing on my part. I think she may have been wearing glasses or something, not sure. and she seemed of a dark complexion too but again the whole place was dark, just like me when I was smiling the whole time I was voiding out her complete being. I don't get the impression I was mad or evil actually, I knew exactly what I was doing. But don't know why. But it seemed like it was the right thing to do within the dream. Sorry for uhhh attacking your mom and ev'rything...

does anything also with Christmas stand out in your mind too? I know like within the works of Kubrick, like Eyes Wide Shut, there is heavy Xmas motif everywhere, and someone mentioned the same movie today on a thread no less. In the clear dreams I had today when taking a nap too my bland apartment was decorated with Xmas decorations while talking to another lady. she wasn't you, she was Asian, and so it was just probably one of my meaningless fantasies like when I was in korea or something. but thought I'd bounce it off you anyway.

oh something else just came to me. even tho your mom had a dark shirt on, there was something like a pendent either hanging from her neck around the point I was focusing my attack on, or else it was a lighter shiny print of something on her shirt, like a crystal or butterfly, something small idk exactly, just my best guess right now.

In my opinion circle jerk of dust you are full of shit

nothing else

I see you around every potential female on glp up to the same

stalker shit

and Kalis you play a very dangerous game.

BMG can go and fuck himsef.

Kill Zone Beta.

xeagle2016 that had better not be a threat

Fly you fool.

Huh? What do you mean?

be my guest

the web you weave connects in ways you yet to imagine! lol

<o> <o> symbolorgy! lol

<> <>, no eyes, must be blind! lol