George Noory

Clit Eatswood

LOL!!!!!’

Hahahahahahahshahshaha!!!!

Jorch attributes his good health to eating canned dog food for the past 40 years. It also gives his mustache a shiny luster.

While shopping at the local Jewish market, Jorch becomes confused when he goes to the counter to pay for his items and sees a jar that says “Tips”.

ART: “Look, I’m not a prophet.”

JORCH: “I’m not a sentient being.”

Jorch goes golfing and forgets to bring a bag to hold his clubs. Faithful producer Tom steps up to help. Tom does a headstand on a dolly with his legs spread and inserts woods and irons up his kiester. Jorch wheels faithful Tom around the green, stopping occasionally to select a wood from Tom’s brown.

On his online profile, Jorch lists one of his favorite pastimes as “tongue-punching a fart box”.

AR-17, wut?

Art was in Saigon on the last helicopter out before the fall of the U.S. embassy to the NVA. The year was 1973.

The embassy grounds were swarming with thousands of South Vietnamese, desperate to evacuate their country to escape their inevitable slaughter at the hands of the bloodthirsty communists.

As Art’s helicopter lifted off the embassy roof for the flight to a waiting troop transport ship off the coast, Art — ever the humanitarian — convinced the pilot to loop back around to the embassy. As the helicopter slowly lowered, then hovered 100 feet above the embassy grounds, Art leaned out of the side door putting one foot on the skid, with one hand holding a grab bar and in the other hand a megaphone. After instructing the pilot to steady the UH-61 “Huey” chopper, Art addressed the curiously expectant crowd below through his megaphone...

ART: “Guess what? I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!”

Then Art signals the pilot to fly off.

The only action Jorch saw in the service was in the latrine.

TAHMMY: Hey George, wanna catch a game this weekend?

JORCH: Can’t. My unit got called up.

TAHMMY: I didn’t know you were still in the military. I thought you got discharged.

JORCH: I’m hopin’!

(Squirt! Squirt! Squirt! Squirt!)

Things are getting so bad Noori is doing his own commercials for marginal advertisers.

"When producer Tahmee Danheiser's needs a new suit he heads over to the Sweaty Chin!
Great looking clothes for the morbidly obese or moderately beached!
The stock market is up and Tahmee's tummy hangs down, so what's he gonna wear to Arby's?
A stylish body tarp from The Sweaty Chin of course!
And that's genuine hand stitching on the seam."

Jorch supplements his Coast to Coast salary with porch piracy. Quite the Renaissance Man.

HAHAHAHAHAHSHSHSHAHAHAHA!!! Just spit out my Florida Grade A orange juice.

Classic Roast

^absolutely loved this one^

^ I concur! :) beautiful work. does Jorch deserve all this "love" from us? ^

^ awesome contributions, Mr Tip !!!! ^

^bwahahahahahaha^

And his greatest accomplishment?
He lists that as "supporting" Anthony Weiner in his 2013 bid for Mayor of NYC.
Thanks to Jorch's brilliant strategies, Weiner secured less than 5% of the vote.

Before Jorch's intervention he was on 65%.

Said Jorch; "I've been trying to pump up a weiner my whole life. It always ends the same. Lower than when I started."

"But hey, I still made a good fist of it."

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah​ahahahahahahahhahahahahaahhahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahhahaha​hhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha​hahahahahahahaah

Pure, unadulterated GOLD!!!

For obvious reasons, Jorch has repeatedly applied to become a Scout Master.
But he can't even manage a Tenderfoot.


The most he's cracked so far is a tender 3 & a half inches....

Jorch boasts that he would have had sex on his latest alien encounter.
But the creature had reptile dysfunction....




Last Edited by 4th Mesa on 01/23/2020 01:44 AM

Wunderbar!! Sehr, sehr gut!

Last Edited by Vigorous Daily Handjob on 01/23/2020 02:17 AM

hahahahahaah!! Danke.