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George Noory

 
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:12 PM
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Re: George Noory
George goes to the dermatologist and asks him to remove the little growths on his body. Three hours later, George wakes up from anesthesia and discovers his dick and balls missing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73838120
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:12 PM
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Re: George Noory
Jorch got hard in the Gotthard tunnel
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63286947


Lol
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06/06/2021 02:12 PM
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Re: George Noory
When interviewing Alexandra Robbins about her book on Skull & Bones and the secret building they meet at on the Yale campus, George said, “Oh to be a fly in the ointment in that room.”

The master of mixed metaphors strikes again.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79861298


lmao That's our boy alright. It wouldn't be nearly as funny if he had a clue how often he does this but dammit, he's costing me precious sleep waiting for him to do it again.
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06/06/2021 02:14 PM
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Re: George Noory
A nude George Ralph Noory.
A mike.
A short length of rubber hose, one end stuck up his ass.

The interview of a lifetime.

GRN: "George, why are you so great!?!"

"Bffft, flarrnn, wheeee, peep"

GRN: "Exactly!"
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 76864629

Hahahahahahahahahahaha
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:17 PM
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Re: George Noory
George’s maiden flight on MicroSoft Flight Sim is from Denver Int’l Airport to the old Stapleton Airport in Denver. A whopping 5 minutes.

Jorch “I don’t want to learn to take off or land; only to fly the plane” Noori
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73838120
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:18 PM
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George’s first flight as First Officer... Just after reaching cruising altitude, Jorch turns to the Captain and says, “This is great! When do we deploy the life-size inflatable navigator like in ‘Airplane’? I’m horny.”

Seconds later, the Captain requests an emergency landing at the nearest airport for “unspecified personnel reasons”.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 73838120
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:18 PM
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Re: George Noory
Blast from the past

Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth...says Art as he bites into a triple meat Italian Sub
 Quoting: AC 63286947

lmao
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:28 PM
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Re: George Noory
)oo-ish guest on C2C recounting his trip to Israel...

“After arriving at the famed Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, I blew the shofar.”

GEORGE: “Wouldn’t a generous tip and a hearty ‘Thanks for the ride’ have sufficed?”
 Quoting: Drei Hund Nacht
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06/06/2021 02:31 PM
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Re: George Noory
Jarch is pitching a tv reboot idea with a twist to his Hollywood producer friends — re-doing Batman and Robin but in Israel. To be called “Bat Mitzvah Man and Rubin”.
 Quoting: Drei Hund Nacht
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:32 PM
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Re: George Noory
Episode 1: Commissioner Gordonwitz kvetches about the crime in his fair city. Bat Mitzvah Man and Rubin swing into action to stop a local deli from serving ham sandwiches and BLTs; only Reubens. Named after Paul Rubens’ (Pee Wee Herman’s) “special sauce”.

As the Dynamic Duo depart the deli, Rubin reminds patrons not to forget to tip their servers... but no more than 5%. 6 at most.
 Quoting: Drei Hund Nacht
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:33 PM
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Re: George Noory
GUEST: "Remember Popeye had those big forearms?"

JORCH: "And those skinny little arms..."

Uhhhhh...



Now Jorch just said: "Here's a quiz for you... What was the name of Popeye's girlfriend?"

GUEST: "Olive Oyl."

JORCH: "Yes! You got it!"

Oh holy Christ almighty!!!!!!
 Quoting: Drei Hund Nacht
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:35 PM
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GUEST: “How old are you in dog years, George?”

JORCH: “Arf! Arf-Arf! Arf! Arf-Arf-Arf!...”

GUEST: “Uhhhh... I meant your human age divided by 7.”

JORCH: “Huh? I don’t get it.”
 Quoting: Drei Hund Nacht
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:36 PM
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Re: George Noory
Caller: "what's your ring tone, Jorch?"

Jorch: "a heckova lot tighter now that I get a little exercise"
 Quoting: 4th Mesa

Rofl!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:41 PM
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Re: George Noory
Why does everyone hate on George Noory?
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:41 PM
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Re: George Noory
Jorch's special guest tonight will be....

< drum roll, please >

---- completely embarrassed and wholly underwhelmed by his complete lack of homework and grasp of the English language ----


The same as every guest before them....
 Quoting: 4th Mesa

Lololololololol
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06/06/2021 02:42 PM
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Re: George Noory
Why does everyone hate on George Noory?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79039408


We love him. This is just a Roast. We honor him with ridicule.
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:44 PM
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Re: George Noory
Tonight on Coast, a NASA spokesman previews their upcoming Mars probe....

and Jorch checks out Uranus....
 Quoting: 4th Mesa
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:45 PM
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Re: George Noory
Snoorge had a fast radio burst in the mexican space shuttle moments before tonights show
 Quoting: GMTG

lolsign
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06/06/2021 02:48 PM
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Re: George Noory
Hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's Joe !
 Quoting: Zondervan


Joe in the Bronx

Joe on Longue Aye-lund

Joe in Monterey

Joe in Thomas from La Jolla.
 Quoting: Drei Hump Nachers
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06/06/2021 02:49 PM
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Re: George Noory
To supplement his income, Jorch tries to install DirecTV satellite dishes on barn roofs in Lancaster County, PA.
 Quoting: Drei Hump Nachers
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06/06/2021 02:49 PM
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Re: George Noory
A Coast Guard Helicopter slowly hovers over a row of flooded homes in N.C, and the ghost of Art opens the door and tells the residents "Good News" they begin cheering they are saved and rejoicing , Art proceeds " I just saved a lot from switching to Geico" closes the door and flies off.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63286947

1rof1
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06/06/2021 02:52 PM
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Re: George Noory
"From the city of A-Holes...."
 Quoting: GMTG


Lol
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06/06/2021 02:53 PM
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Re: George Noory
Jorch and Tahhmmeeee met at an audition for an off-Broadway -- very, very off-Broadway -- musical parody; WILEY WANKER AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.

Jorch was going for the eponymous role.

Big Tahhmmeeee Dudehoser was auditioning for the part of THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.

The roles have been the basis for their relationship ever since....
 Quoting: 4th Mesa


lmaolmaolmao
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06/06/2021 02:54 PM
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Re: George Noory
Why does everyone hate on George Noory?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79039408


The man has zero charisma yet still sees himself as the main attraction of Coast To coast AM. Not only is he wrong about but he diminishes the value of what could be perfectly great programming by unnecessarily injecting himself into conversations with guests and adding nothing of value.

And the man is relentlessly inept at what he's doing. Other than that and the fact that he's only marginally less boring than BBC Overnight News? No particularly reason.
Anonymous Coward
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06/06/2021 02:56 PM
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Re: George Noory
Treasure hunting is the topic right now on Coast.

Knapp is guest-hosting. Jorch calls in disguising his voice with a clothespin on his nose and asks how & where to locate the infamous, ever-elusive “little man in the boat”.
 Quoting: Drei Hump Nachers
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06/06/2021 02:57 PM
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Re: George Noory
Why does everyone hate on George Noory?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 79039408


The man has zero charisma yet still sees himself as the main attraction of Coast To coast AM. Not only is he wrong about but he diminishes the value of what could be perfectly great programming by unnecessarily injecting himself into conversations with guests and adding nothing of value.

And the man is relentlessly inept at what he's doing. Other than that and the fact that he's only marginally less boring than BBC Overnight News? No particularly reason.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 80454313

lmao

clappa
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06/06/2021 02:58 PM
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Re: George Noory
This weekend Jorch went to see the new movie just out “The House With Cocks in the Walls”. Apparently it’s an extremely graphic documentary on the world of glory holes. Jorch was in the back row of the theater holding an empty tub of popcorn in his lap with a hole cored out in the bottom and his hands lubed up with butter.
 Quoting: Drei Hump Nachers
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06/06/2021 02:58 PM
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Re: George Noory
The last time Jorch was locked out of his twitter account, he called AAA.
 Quoting: Drei Hump Nachers
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06/06/2021 02:59 PM
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Re: George Noory
Jorch travels to Chang Mai, Thailand to see the elephant who can paint with a paintbrush held in his trunk. Upon arriving at the preserve, Jorch, along with about 20 other tourists, walks into the enclosure and immediately is struck by what he sees... “Wow! Look at that. It was all worth it — the 15-hour flight in coach, the jet lag, the bus drive up into the forests of northern Thailand — to see this. Look at the texture, the different hues and shades of color, the way the brush strokes bring the art to life...”

In broken English, the Thai elephant keeper says, “Excuse me, sir...the paintings are over here. You’re looking at the elephant’s scat. Watch your step.”
 Quoting: Drei Hump Nachers
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06/06/2021 03:00 PM
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Re: George Noory
Jorch's tell-all autobiography -- hand-drawn in crayon -- is with his publisher, SLIME'n & SHYSTER.

Working title?

.... "Take Off Your Pants and Jack't"

jerkit
 Quoting: 4th Mesa

Hahahahahaahahaha





GLP