George Noory

George has one chance to time travel to the past. Anytime. Anywhere. One opportunity.

Will it be time traveling to 30 A.D. in Palestine? 4,000 years ago in ancient Egypt? Maybe waaaay back to the Jurassic Period to see dinosaurs? July 4, 1776 in Philadelphia?

After much contemplation, George makes his choice... 1976 at a Pat Boone concert in Branson.

George is the Inspector Clouseau of the airwaves.

“Chief inspector!” —GN

Noory would go back in time to interview himself after he told the emergency room doctor how his bum got hurt.

This guy on tonight is full of it

I turned it off after he said he was a mailman Lol.

A great lover of architecture, George checks into hotels under the name I.M. Gei.

George refuses to take the monster dildo out of his ass until there’s a clear, decisive winner in the 2020 POTUS election.

TOMMY: “Yikes! They say we might not know the winner until December! That’s crazy!”

GEORGE: “Yeah...crazy.” (cracking a sly smile).

George cut his teeth acting as an extra in “Planet of the Gapes”. (His anal lining also got cut).

On his Paranormal Date dot com profile, George lists his favorite movie as “What’s Eating Gilbert’s Gape?”

At the end of the movie, George waits for everyone in the theater to leave, then ravenously goes around sniffing every seat like a drug dog at the Tijuana border crossing.

George Ralph Noory has a large following in Puerto Rico and amongst the Hispanic American community.

It seems he made quite an impression when in the part time Navy, he went on a summer cruise aboard the USS Nancy Boi, serving as Able Semen Noory when it pulled into port at Roosevelt Roads Naval Station.

On a three day furlough, instead of touring the towns with his mates, he took to the hills to get in touch with nature.

Following two nights of debauchery he returned to his ship covered in feces and chicken feathers.

To this day locals live in fear of the cacacabra, or “ass sucker” that raided several villages back in the 60’s.


True story.

Open Lines Renamed:

Hillbilly Line

Old Timer's Line

George's Uncle Toms Line

TONIGHT-- Authority on the great seer Nostradamus should put you to sleep in less than five minutes

This music plays In a constant loop at the Asian massage parlor in Chinatown. George knows it well.

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Blasphemy!!!! (But true).

This commercial...

“Wanna know about pharmaceuticals? Ask a pharmacist!”

In C2C’s case it’s...

“Wanna know about human health? Ask a veterinarian (Doc Wallet)!”

John “Lying Dog-Faced Pony Soldier” Hogue

John Hogue is one of the biggest bullshitters. Up there with Wilgobblecock.

He says, “There’s no going back to the way it was.”

Really, John? Why not? Didn’t things go back to normal after the Spanish flu? Why wouldn’t things go back to the way they were?

Now John’s hocking a book about “Nostradamus and the Pandemics”. Lol Old Nosti is rollin’ in his grave hearing all these charlatans trying to make money off his name.

HOGUE: “Gurdijeff lived in Russia. During the Russian civil war, he fled south into Georgia.”

GEORGE: “Whereabouts? Atlanta? Macon? Savannah?”

...(Awkward silence)...

“Osho, my teacher from India..” LMAO!!!!!!!!!

Why is George so boring? It's sounds like he is getting ready to fall asleep at any moment.

George plays this Moody Blues bumper driving down Santa Monica Blvd on a balmy night with the top down, the wind in his hair, and a 6’6” shemale named Taniqua by his side.

Dicksville Scatch

George considers himself a seer. He looks through peepholes at night.

Pricksville Snatch

Two Martinis before the show at dinner?