BunBun has sucked cock in her life. I knew that males liked that, but I found it abhorrent. So, one day, while I was mowing my Grandmother's yard, I imagined doing it. I tried to pretend like it wasn't disgusting beyond all rational belief.

I still didn't like it.

Then, when I met my husband, I was 15 and he was 18. We went to this little road on the dirt road down from the trailer. We were fooling around, so I undid his pants and tried it. His penis was smooth and warm as it was so hard. I thought it was strange. Putting my mouth on it wasn't horrible, but it was really a lot harder to suck dick than I thought it would be. He told me that it would take too long, so he whacked off and I let him cum in my mouth.

That was horrible. I didn't like that at all. I decided that we weren't going to allow a man to do that anymore. It was disgusting and I had to swallow it. 15 year-old BunBun wasn't okay with that.

Oral sex is not a real positive thing for BunBun. I suspect that other women feel like that about oral sex as well. Men want you to do it.

I suppose that if we swallow, that says to the man that they really have control over us that they can get us to do such a disgusting thing. They know how gross it is.

So, BunBun has sucked dick. Didn't care for it. I think dick sucking is pretty stupid and you have to be with a minuteman in order to be able to get to the end of a dick sucking session. Nope.

No thanks, Asshole.

This little girl knows all about sex, sexuality, dick sucking, what men like in bed, how to get a man to hurry up and cum. I know all that.

I also know what it's like to give birth and hold your own babies in your arms. I dreamed of that when I was a little girl. I actually got to do that. You have to put up with a lot of lonely nights watching Star Trek Next Generation all by yourself to get there, but I did it. I held those two boys in my arms. No one can take that away from me. I strived for that and I achieved that.

It was hard.

But, it's over now.

Now, I am surviving so that I can bury the men. When they are dead, they won't be able to hurt me anymore. That will be over. The curse that Father cursed me with will be over and I won't be under the curse anymore, so the men won't rule over me and my desire will not be for them anymore. Death undoes all that.

I can't wait to die. It's going to be awesome. Lord Jesus is going to come for me. He promised that He would never leave me. I gave up my imaginary friends for Him. I gave up cigarettes for Him. I gave up Romance Novels for Him. He is never going to leave me and He never jilts anyone. He is going to come for His BunBun and He's going to take me Home. Father is going to be upset with me some, cause He's always upset with me some no matter what I do. There is no help for it. I am going to get an ass chewing for watching the men die and I suppose for not forgiving them enough, but I am going to tell Father all about it, just like I do every night. Father put them to rule over me, so in a real way, it's Father's Fault that the men do such horrible things to me and my mother and other women. He knew that they would do those things, but He left us down here with them. So, He's getting back a damaged, partly destroyed BunBun little girl, but I will still be there partially intact. We will have buried a lot of men by that time.

Some of that is going to be sad and some of it is going to be grief, but the men are determined to go to the grave with their egos intact. That is what I have seen. They will break on the other side, I guess. It sure is crazy to live among the white men. I am betting it's no less insane among men of other colors. My grandmother said that "All men are cut from the same cloth, just some are better quality than others."