BunBun has read a lot of romance novels. I know all the really good sexual stuff from women. I have done sex. Boy, let me tell you. Up one side and down the other.

It's massively overrated.

A little arousal, a little of that feeling in your engorged cock or in the your vagina. The pressure and the fullness and the tightness. BunBun knows all about that. The burst of an orgasm. This girl has done all of that stuff.

But, it's over now. I cannot orgasm anymore. I don't really care. I told Heavenly Father that there was no orgasm available that would make up for what the men do to me. There isn't. Nor am I going to be bought off into silence through the administration of any orgasm. It doesn't work like that with me. Maybe Father declared that I would live the rest of my life anorgasmic? I don't know what The Lord declared as I told Him how I felt about things. I have no idea.

He gets angry sometimes and He can be impulsive when He's affronted. But, that never stops me. I tell Him what I think about things anyhow.

He showed me something years ago before he started getting mad at me all the time. Something after my father died.

I was asleep and in the dream, I was about 1 and a half years old. This hand rattled keys in front of my face and I had the rolling laugh that only babies can experience well up in me. I had a sensation in my brain. This time, I knew what that sensation was. It's an orgasm. Babies have orgasms in their brains. It was clean and beautiful and not in any way sullied. He showed me that before He decided that I wasn't worth showing anything too anymore.

He gets mad at me all the time. I don't think He likes me very much. That has been going on for years. I suppose having someone who is capable of seeing what has been going on and putting it into words because she's been through the program might be upsetting to Him. I followed the program the whole way to the end. Women get there sooner than men. I don't know why, we just do. It seems we mature faster than men and we learn faster than men and we get to the end of the program faster than men do. That might be a little bit inconvenient.

I guess He'll just have to lobotomize me. I'm already on Pristiq because my brain is broken. I am on Geodon, which is an anti-psychotic because my brain is broken. I guess He can go ahead and finish the job and then, I won't be capable of spewing my vitreal and talking about it. He will get silence and I will get stuck with the rage in my chest. I don't know whether Father cares about that or not. I reckon plenty of people have had to swallow plenty of things in this whole deal. We just have to put our heads down. What choice do we have.

I told Him that I Love Him and that I was sure that every creature on and under the earth-not humans, but animals, loved Him too. He said, "Not all of them." I didn't understand that very well. I tried to imagine a spider or a snake. Maybe the snake didn't like Him because He cursed the snake. I didn't know. I wonder if God has an Ego like the men do and whether He will hurt you if you come up against His Ego, the way the men do? I don't know for sure. Maybe. Maybe not. I have trouble seperating Him from the men down here sometimes. That comes from living among the men for so long. They are what I see and they are what I live with, so I don't know.

BunBun knows lots of things. I can use Tumescent in a sentence. I still think that's stupid. Sex is useless. You spend your life running after pleasures that can never fill you up. You are empty again and running after them again, while damaging numerous women and girls all in your attempt to fill up and emptiness inside of yourself that cannot be filled.

It can only be filled with God.

You have to stop it.

Damaging little girls and women is never going to make you feel better no matter how many times you do it. You sully your souls in the effort. You mislead women into error and sin because you have caused them anger.

It's dangerous down here. People fail to see that moment by moment and day by day. We become comfortable. But, satan is right here minute by minute trying to finish us off.

How many BunBun little girls do you see around you each day?