Thanks again zenergy!
very grateful for your time and words =)

her first name letter is S

Love the picture too.

Yes for sure..support groups, looking.

I get the idea to not enable, Im just afraid that she wont wake up playing russian roulette with every incident now.
i have to keep a close eye on her and not trigger it further to incite some bad outcome. I am trying to be encouraging about directing her to try? I not realy trying to make an ultimatum , this is why I mentioned this cryptically earlier in the thread as per suggested in the Op first directions.
I mentioned to "turn myself off". what i was meaning to was if i should disconnect me and my son from her so he doesn't 'see' her ending it like shes showing signs she might.
hes a spectrum kid and this would devastate him, even if he finds her out cold when im out sorta thing or even worse.

i know if i pull to hard in that direction of safety she could snap and drop more then she can handle to cope like she does for every reason she finds.
difficult choices. talking with her takes the wildest turns, not good.
soo.
yes, ok..im reaching out. doing things i normally dont and ill not stop.

her letter is S - thank you sooo much for the time and prayers. i will strive to make this good.
thank you zenergy.

love that picture =)