My favourite stories thread

I got my head stuck in a pickle jar once

:spockish:

The drunken man stumbled into the beauty parlor, nearly tripping over two women sitting in chairs waiting for their appointments, suddenly , he lurched forward and started pissing all over the receptionists counter, he tried to stop himself and as he grabbed his flootee, he vomited all over the sample hair style posters on the wall.
At the same time he had projectile crap squirt out of his pants all over the woman waiting in line behind him.
He tried to turn and run , but the woman behind him tripped him and he flew through the front window down into the large dumpster.

LOL I shot up a dude's house with a friend of mine once. Gambling debt, needed to pay 5g's, skipping out after winning like 5 weeks in a row. Anyway, it's way past the statute of limitations for destruction of private property now. Nobody was home luckily. Even more funny, the guy just got a new washer and dryer delivered and they were sitting on his porch. We lit 'em up too. He paid the next day.

It's been a minute since I remembered that one.

edit- I suck at telling stories.

Last Edited by UnipartySchmuck on 02/09/2017 11:25 PM

I once got shot down in a bomber on a night raid and had to crash land, then I had to fight my way back to base while driving a pantzer tank.

Oh wait, no. That was a movie I once saw.