Splash of majic

Hello Darling Woman!!!

Ataraxia = NOT perturbed (aka: pissed)

Ataraxia is all about keeping a level head during battle, from the Chess Board to the Bedroom.

"Anger makes a bad bedfellow and a lousy pillow."



Ribbit

Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon:



I was supposed to see them live in London, January 1982.

Sumthing got in my way ... .. .

Ribbit

[link to vimeo.com (secure)]

Indeed.

I was still born in this world. I died at birth. That was my first NDE. After 8 min, i breathed life.

I grew up knowing pain, alot of pain from my step father who was a drunk and abused me physically, mentally and emotionally on daily basis.

At a young age i had dreams that were not my own. Other lives i had lived also full of much pain. At 5 years old inhad a reoccuring nightmares of being tortured by japanese army guys and i didnt even know what the japanese army was.

I also had other dreams vivid ones of being tortured until i was about 10 years old. I was always a grown up in these dreams at different era's some were in sandy places and others in jungles. Some were in apartment buildings, some were in houses, always alot of pain and i didnt know why i was being punished in these dreams.. or who i even was. Let alone the abuse i took at home as a child.

I am going to skip forward a bit. I left home at age 15 and a half.. by 18 i joined the military to escape from being homeless, and i did somethings i didnt want to do to survive.. and well we were "the good guys."

NDE #9. Some 10 years later the things i did in the military started to haunt me like those dreams.. i was a regular christian dude. I knew somw love and i knew some sucsess. For the most paet i was a chirstian construction worker with no ideas about anything we talk about here like monad or vibrations.. if i had a vibration it meant something was wrong with my truck or car.. but because my PTSD i started to have these impulses that grew stronger and stronger to hurt those around me.. and it was getting harder and harder to "keep my hands in my pockets" and so i put the tube in the window of the car and I started it and I prayed this prayer. "Divine creator, maker of my soul, i give my soul back to you willingly and freely. Because I dont want to hurt anyone and i dont think that is why i was made. I dont trust me anymore to hurt anyone. So instead of hurting or killing someone, i am taking me out of the picture. Thank you so much for my life, but is is yours now, do with it what ever you wish. Amen".

I guess you could say, i had a good heart.. i used to lay pipe for a living and i worked hard as a ditch digger. I was huge physically, i had 19 1/2 inch arms.. and i liked working hard. I used to say, praise God 10 maybe 100 thousand times a day. All day when i was at work. Just over and over, "Thank you God" for everything.. from the dirt to my toes.. i am not sure if that is what the difference was??? But i did it wvery day for 10 years.. i had other NDE's once in a car accident, anothet in a chemical accident and a few others where everyone always said the same thing. "Wow! We thought you were a gonner!"

Never the less. Im still here.

I will be back in a little bit to post some of my experiance on NDE #9.

It is a really venerable thing.. and this is glp. Lol the wild wild west of forums. Ha ha ha.

I will tell you it took me 5 hours of sitting in that car before i finally fell asleep and died. I had a carbon monoxide level of 51% at the artery when i came back to life.. which is waaaaaaay past theblethal limit. Still i was very functioning and i completely aware of who i was, where i lived, even knew what day it was and who the president was. I will never forget the look on the doctors face and the song on the radio. Which was back in black by ACDC and them all standing around me with their jaws wide open in astonishment. I smiled and said, can i have a glass of water? They fumbled all pver themselves getting me some water.lol

I will do this in 2 parts. The next partbis what i saw and experianced. But i will not give you all of it.. some because i doubt i can put it into words.

Last Edited by 'n° on 03/23/2017 09:40 AM

So when i died, i floated above my body for a little bit, then everything around sorta spiraled and grew dim and there was a tunnel and i was thrust into it.

On the other side there was this "clearing" or field if you prefer and a bunch of translucent white silouets (souls) wandering around it. Some were taller. They were like road signs. Living directional "people". Everyone was giggling like kids on a playground. And nobody said a word like we do here on earth. They just thought it and everyone knew what they were thinking. You would think with that many people it would be hard to understand but it was easy to hear everyone and talk all at the same time.

So i walked up to this large silhouette at the edge of this mist. He smiled or thought smiled, smiling was the impression i got and thought telepathically "ask". So i said i am here to return my soul to its creator. He laughed and said nobody does that. Nobody has done that in a million aeons. I said well that is why im here. He said, matter of fact! You are not supposed to be here yet! I said well i am! He was quiet and said you can go this way. I said, is that the way to the maker of souls? He said no, that is the way back to life. I said ohhh no no no, im good, not for me anymore. He said Good? and laughed. I said ya, im here to. He interuptrd me and said i heard you the first time. Go this way and talk to the guys at heaven. This is above my paygrade.

So off i went. I ended up at this great wall.. and when i touched it there was a doorway. I opened it up and there wad a hallway with infinite doors on each side. It looked like the thing in the matrix a white hall way with infinite doors. But this was years before that movie came out. I met "the Dude" there. On each door was a symbol. Like a hyroglyps. But they were always changing.. i walked doen the hall and one door would mean hindu, another Tao, another muslem Another would mean christian. And a whole bunch of ones i didnt know what they were. One door felt like oozing compassion and the door accross from it felt hot and smelled really bad. Each door had a corisponding door. I looked in some but i didnt not enter and i wont talk about them.. atleast in this post.

So i kept running down the hall until there was no more doors with symbols that meant anhthing to me. The hall way never got any shorter. Finally after running for what seemd like an eternity i stoped. Turned and opened a door. Another infinite hallway. Full of doors. I ran faster this time and ran with ease until i got bored. I was never tired there. Finally i stopped. Opened another door another hallway full of doors on each side. I sat down and started to cry.. then this Dude. Not that i could tell he was a he. But it felt like a man. The ugliest dude you ever seen. So scared and full of deformity it was hard to look at him. And i kept my eyes down when we "thought talked" . He said why are you crying. I said im lost. He said you are not supposed to be here. I said i am. He said yes you are. Souls arnt allowed this far. I said well im here to give my soul back to its creator. He said nobody has done that in a million eons (not an exact figure but that is what i got from him) he then said, of course you know this. I can take you to "heaven" if you like. The one of your choosing. It was very very apealing to me. Not in any way i can describe because it that sorta apeal or desire doesn't exist here on earth. I resisted the temptation but not like a bad temptation.. it actually made perfect sense at tbat moment.. and i said, noo noo. Im here to give my soul all of it back to that which made it. We spoke for a while about how the earth was the all seeing eye and the fruit that was eaten in the garden and how many things are one in the same.. that it was both a prison and a school and a gift of mercy.. but it was like speaking in telepathic hyroglyps that were based in emotion. So wierd. Hard ro describe.

Anyway, he ended up saying very well, if you decide to see the (nameless in this world) follow me. And i did

The next thing i know, i formless but a form always changing.. i was golden coulored but more light.. i was soft and kinda like a cube of butter. I could see myself and all directions. There was no time, gravity and no concept of balance or any of that. It was there i was searched. Sooooooooo painful. Nothing like it on earth except being on fire would be somewhat close. More painful than that. Like being eaten spiritually alive by these 3 entities.
I screamed and i pleaded and i fought but there was no resisting them. Eventually i surrendered to it because they were over powering me anyway.. penitrating me, moving things, aligning them and tearing them apart. I felt like i was soup being run through a strainer.. and being on fire at the same time but worse.

Whoooaaa deep breath. I can still feel it and it has been years.

It seemed like i had been there for ever.. there was no way in telling how long the time was.

I finally with all my might yelled mercy.. and they stopped.. i changing shape sp fast i didnt know how to describe it i was a sphere and the next moment i was a 5 dimensional hypercube and there is no shapes here on earth of what i made. I cant even describe them here.. i was a mobius spiral spining faster and faster then the next moment a simple cube.

Then i was back in the hallway again with the dude. He said now you are known you are free to go to heaven if you like. Again drawing me that way.. and i sooooooo wanted to go. But i said no, i am here to give my creator back my soul. He said very well, a door opened and he said that is your way. I can not go with you. And i went down the hallway which was like all the other hallways.. i opened some of the doors and looked and it was like a picture of a van and it seemd like i was on a bicycle looking at it.. and kept going and going sooo ever grateful not to be with the 3 entities anymore. At the end of the hall was a door. It had a symbol that is sorta like this on top of it. !0i

I opened the door and on the otherside i was in infinity. That is the only way i could describe it. I knew creatures that have never existed here and what it felt like to be a sun and what an ant things and i feel what it felt like to be a drop of water sliding down a leaf. All at the same time.

Accross from me was a, jeesh you cant describe it.. a whirlwind of light and truth. But not a light ever seen here on earth. Ever. It was like this translucent light.. blue ish.. whirling. And there was little lights whirling arouns ir and forming these beems that went on to infinity.. and the spiut off sparks which looked like galaxies and other dimensions.. warping time and direction shape and was like looking at a ripple in a lake on a suny day where everything is a reflection of the suroundings.. but i walked into it and it said be still.. but not in a way that was anything but beautiful beyond comprehension.. and i became it and it became me.. and i dont know how to describe it any other way. And loved me.. indescribable love. Love is just a cheep word here people use to be together.. comparatively. I was there for an eternity.. and then it gave me back to me and i woke up with the dude in the hall again. And i cried. But i new i must come back to here because it was good to do so. And the Dude showed me many many things. Things i didnt even know about spirituality, i never occured to me there was all these religions.. ha ha ha. I fell asleep while he held me.. and i woke up to a bunch of jaw dropped doctors and ACDC playing in the back ground. "Nobody is going to get me on another rap."

The next thing i know, i formless but a form always changing.. i was golden coulored but more light.. i was soft and kinda like a cube of butter. I could see myself and all directions. There was no time, gravity and no concept of balance or any of that. It was there i was searched. Sooooooooo painful. Nothing like it on earth except being on fire would be somewhat close. More painful than that. Like being eaten spiritually alive by these 3 entities.
I screamed and i pleaded and i fought but there was no resisting them. Eventually i surrendered to it because they were over powering me anyway.. penitrating me, moving things, aligning them and tearing them apart. I felt like i was soup being run through a strainer.. and being on fire at the same time but worse.

Whoooaaa deep breath. I can still feel it and it has been years.

It seemed like i had been there for ever.. there was no way in telling how long the time was.

I finally with all my might yelled mercy.. and they stopped.. i changing shape sp fast i didnt know how to describe it i was a sphere and the next moment i was a 5 dimensional hypercube and there is no shapes here on earth of what i made. I cant even describe them here.. i was a mobius spiral spining faster and faster then the next moment a simple cube.

Then i was back in the hallway again with the dude. He said now you are known you are free to go to heaven if you like. Again drawing me that way.. and i sooooooo wanted to go. But i said no, i am here to give my creator back my soul. He said very well, a door opened and he said that is your way. I can not go with you. And i went down the hallway which was like all the other hallways.. i opened some of the doors and looked and it was like a picture of a van and it seemd like i was on a bicycle looking at it.. and kept going and going sooo ever grateful not to be with the 3 entities anymore. At the end of the hall was a door. It had a symbol that is sorta like this on top of it. !0i

I opened the door and on the otherside i was in infinity. That is the only way i could describe it. I knew creatures that have never existed here and what it felt like to be a sun and what an ant things and i feel what it felt like to be a drop of water sliding down a leaf. All at the same time.

Accross from me was a, jeesh you cant describe it.. a whirlwind of light and truth. But not a light ever seen here on earth. Ever. It was like this translucent light.. blue ish.. whirling. And there was little lights whirling arouns ir and forming these beems that went on to infinity.. and the spiut off sparks which looked like galaxies and other dimensions.. warping time and direction shape and was like looking at a ripple in a lake on a suny day where everything is a reflection of the suroundings.. but i walked into it and it said be still.. but not in a way that was anything but beautiful beyond comprehension.. and i became it and it became me.. and i dont know how to describe it any other way. And loved me.. indescribable love. Love is just a cheep word here people use to be together.. comparatively. I was there for an eternity.. and then it gave me back to me and i woke up with the dude in the hall again. And i cried. But i new i must come back to here because it was good to do so. And the Dude showed me many many things. Things i didnt even know about spirituality, i never occured to me there was all these religions.. ha ha ha. I fell asleep while he held me.. and i woke up to a bunch of jaw dropped doctors and ACDC playing in the back ground. "Nobody is going to get me on another rap."

I will think about shairing NDE #10

Thread: On death, reincarnation and the deepest NDE I've experience... (Page 2)

Yes, its alot to read...but it is about 20 percent of what i experianced on the other side of life.

Last Edited by 'n° on 03/23/2017 10:59 AM

Nice

Been reading my posts from 2010-2012...sooo strange rememebering the myan grand cycle and time wave zero.. and all the speculation of such... and patient zero and all that.. ha ha ha

Feeling very confused tonight... i will post more tomorrow. The break down of my first handle TICICIT and aspects of zero.

May take a few days off of glp...or even a week or so.

Hmmmmmmmm....kinda got blind sided tonight. And that doesnr happen very often.. wont post on any other thread but here for a while if i post.

What? In a bad way? Wasn't me, was it? Text is so easily misunderstood. I'm actually kinda confused myself.. I wonder if we're confused about the same things? Strange day. And where'd D go?

Man wmail locked me out if you wrote me! I have to make another one :-(

My email I mean

Im confused about a girl.. not you

Last Edited by 'n° on 03/24/2017 01:30 AM

wow this is amazing :)

Hello???

Thanks! I had a shitty day.

Thank you. You are right. Deleted those posts. Yours and mine...becsuse i put too much personal info out there... i am a man of faith...but i am running on fumes.

Not confused anymore. Lol

You've come this far. You've come far! We're makin it to witness it you know.

I'm glad you're sharing. I luv reading NDE's. It's a peek into things thru the eyes of another.

Hi LM!

Thank you! All better now. All is well. Will continue tomorrow

Here I is! Working hard here so just reading and listening. Good to see you Pav!

Happy Friday.

Fyi: may be off glp for the weekend.