Alcoholic brother

Bring him over so we can down a few

Yeah Woman they get played!

Yeah, you can't fix these people, they have to fix themselves.

'I haven't told my husband about the messages because I know he won't stand for it.'

Lol… you sound like typical sycophant/flying monkey betraying her husband… imho

Are you SAHM (Stay-at-Home Mom)?
If yes, be careful - your husband might kick both of you out or just walk out if he finds out you deceived him…

That's a pretty scummy thing to do.

Really? Why call the police? What would you expect the police to do for your family's problems?

No, we both work. I work when he is home and vice versa.

says you. live through it then tell me it was scummy. he is 26 years old.

It's simple as this. YOU ARE AN ENABLER!

Sheesh, kick his ass to the street and get a restraining order for good measure.

What a loser.

this. took me 4 years to convince my wife to kick her son out. he was destroying the entire extended family...one FULL of enablers. he's way better off where he's at now than where he was before.

Well I'm sure he's in a much better place now that he's out of the house. I'm also sure that criminal record will help him to quit drinking, too.

he's had a criminal record since he was 14 that just keeps getting longer and longer.

again...you don't know the specifics.

You sound like a very loving and supportive family member?

Juvenile record seals at 18. No, I don't know the specifics, but turning your back on your son doesn't sound like the right thing to do to me.

Your son is drinking/drugging for a reason. Most likely some form of depression or mental disorder.

If your son had these problems when he was 14, then why didn't you get him the help he needed then, when it was your responsibility to do so?

Personally, I wouldn't be involving the police until the situation warranted it, and only as a last resort.

If I was a woman and thought the situation could be problematic, I would enlist the help of family members, but most certainly not the police.

There won't be any domestic violence charges unless the police show up.

I'm not sure what to do.

Yes you do!

I'm not a fan of lazy parenting or shifting the problem onto the public dole by way of the police and legal system.

Maybe he doesn't want to live at all. I know, because it runs rampant in my family, that is on the very verge of crumbling. The main source of this dysfunction has actually been the alcohol, and it feels as if we are in its death throws. I refuse to give in to the drink. But watching all the bullshit really puts a spur in your craw.

You are NOT helping him!

You are only enabeling him to continue drinking (which he couldn't do if he wasn't living with you).

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Find a copy somewhere (believe it is an online PDF). Yes it's a children's book but it appears to be a crucial lesson you missed at that age.

Bottom line is that as long as you allow freeloaders to mooch off you due to an unwarranted sense of guilt on your part... they will.

Do you want a solution, or sympathy?

If you want a solution, the answer is obvious, and simple. But painful (more for him than for you). Your hurt will only deepen and become protracted the longer you dally with indecision.

he's my step-son...whom i met when he was 19. and a parent cannot force an adult child into any kind of treatment. we tried numerous times...numerous. and he didn't stop committing crimes at 18...he stepped it up.

My cousin was an alcoholic her entire adult life. She only stopped when she was diagnosed with cancer. Alcoholic and cancer. That was her "life."

Also, OP, you SHOULD tell your husband. Who cares about the woman your brother is seeing?

Sorry BS not buying it. Women dont supply Cigarettes or booze to a loser living on a porch in the back of the house with no job unless he is a gigolo with a very huge cockatoo.

Something does not add up, I think Op supplies the drugs before and now is sick of it but has been getting pissed that there drug expenses have shifted when his unemployment checks stop coming so she and everyone in the house expect it from the op and her partner.

Suck up buttercup go to AA or Church with him as a prerequisite to you providing him a home and food and so called compassion that you clearly do not have.

I think the key points is he does not watch your kids (fucking nice job mom) because he drinks too much, dont wanna pay 12 bucks a hour for a real one?

Major BS I think I seen you on Springer!

I wish you could be SAHM, but why don’t you communicate with your husband if you have time to post here?

Nobody wants to read the block of text and this man has definitely better skills in public speaking than me;


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Because they are the original enablers and still are. Hubby must be a very weak man...and she dont work o no no

Sounds like he needs counseling or a intervention maybe your family should confront him all together.....

If you are too hard on him he will only get worse and drink more......

Prayer is powerful. Make sure you pray that he quits drinking and loses the taste for alcohol....

God will intervene!!!..

I have experienced this kinda thing, not first hand but by watch my wife's crazy family. I will not allow them to even stay one night with me much less move it... No, I'm not a ass but I have a obligation to keep my family safe and insure peace in my house. I must make sure my kids are not influenced by redneck alcoholic crap!

You need to look out for you, your kids and your husband.
This is not fair to your husband and kids.

Chances are your brother will get drunk, smoke in bed and burn your home down. Or your husband is gonna call BS and kick you both out!

This exact situation happened to my wife's mother. Crazy drunk adult grand kids moved in, one week later burnt the house to the ground.

Get the drunk out of your house OP. Do it tomorrow! Shame on you for doing this to your husband and kids. Shame on you!

Only other option is your house, your rules.
No drinking, no smoking, work and rent requirement.
Tell your brother you owe your husband this...
As soon as you require this of your brother, he will be gone in a few days... Problem solved.

You cant help a drunk!

You’re enabling him by allowing him to stay. Tough love. Let him free to reap the results of his chosen lifestyle, and he might just be able to pull himself out of it. Your actions will only perpetuate his demise, and eventually become a risk to you and your children.

If not already.

Last Edited by SaveUSa on 01/30/2018 08:42 PM